Is marriage the zenith point in a man's life ?

[picard]

Is marriage the zenith point in a man's life ?

I often hear about the guys at work talk about their kids & wife and their social activities. They seem very cheerful. I wonder if the guys are more happy than being single.

 

[Tazman]

It all depends on who you end up with. Marriage itself is just a piece of legal paper. You can sustain successful relationships without it.

 

[vatoloco]

Is marriage the zenith point in a man's life ?

No.

They seem very cheerful.

Living a happy life is the best thing for a man.

If you're in a great marriage with a great woman and raise great kids, you will be a happy man.

However, you don't necessarily need to be married to have a happy life.

 

[Warrior74]

Is marriage the zenith point in a man's life ?

I often hear about the guys at work talk about their kids & wife and their social activities. They seem very cheerful. I wonder if the guys are more happy than being single.

The question then becomes do you know any cheerful single men of the same age?

 

[squirrels]

For most "men", yes.

But that's because most "men" are looking for a "zenith" so they can live the rest of their lives in comfortable decay.

 

[Miles28]

I know quite a lot of contented married guys (or seemingly so). But they are massively pussefied and it would shame me to live the kind of lives they do. Which begs a rephrasing of the age old quandary:

'Tis better to be a DJ dissatisfied or a contented p***y?'

 

[TurboOverCubicInches]

It depends. Some men seek marriage. Many of them marry because they don't think they can find any better, they are comfortable with a stable 9-5 lifestyle, fear of old age, yada yada yada.

However, many are happy living like this.

Others, would rather co-habitate with a partner, live a life full of adventure (that wouldn't work out well if married), pursue a career or dream that isn't feasible under marriage.

Neither is better or worse. There are happy/miserable married men and happy/miserable single guys.

The one thing I notice, at age 30, about the UNHAPPY SINGLE men is that they have NO AMBITION. They don't see life as a wonderful opportunity beckoning to them...they see it as a minefield where they need to run to the nearest foxhole (woman) to be safe.

I live by this rule: Achieve your dreams first. Then, if you want to marry and have kids, then by all means go for it- many men desire to have children, and that's awesome.

Again...no right or wrong here.

 

[jophil28]

The one thing I notice, at age 30, about the UNHAPPY SINGLE men is that they have NO AMBITION.

There is a saying here on this forum whose wisdom is related to the above quote.

'Women join a man's life, not the other way around."

An UNHAPPY SINGLE man, with no ambition, has NO life for a woman to join.
He has no direction and no accomplishments because he has no life plan or career drive . No woman would want to join in that empty space.

 

[zekko]

It certainly wasn't the zenith of my life, it was just another stage. Although I was quite happy being married, except for the last year when things started to go down hill. I think I've read somewhere that statistically married men are happier than single men. I wouldn't be surprised if that were true.
I'm cohabitating now, still happy.

'Women join a man's life, not the other way around."

An UNHAPPY SINGLE man, with no ambition, has NO life for a woman to join.

Jophil has it right again. Get your sh!t together, boys.

 

[FLGuy]

'Tis better to be a DJ dissatisfied or a contented p***y?'

I find this to be a strange question.

A True DJ isn't going to be dissatisfied, right?

If a true DJ doesn't like being single, he'll get a gf/wife.....thus he will be doing what he desires.

Now, being a contented P***Y is just a bomb ticking down--ready to explode, or having incurable cancer, sure you might be able to ignore you're situation for a moment, but eventually it will come time to pay the piper.

 

[synergy1]

I'm cohabitating now, still happy.

This is my ideal situation as well. How has it worked out for you? Does the social stigma draw any ire from "friends" or family?

my rationale is this, and no one has been able to counter it. Why should someone who is not religious enter into an agreement that gives state and power supreme authority over my life? I should i take out another mortgage to pay for a celebration? and lastly, if a women and myself are that much into each-other, why the heck should it matter at all? ..all questions already posed by various members of this community...

Most counter with their pre programmed mumbo jumbo, but have no real insight. They think their future choices are indefatigable, yet they struggle today as if things will suddenly change tomorrow. I don't discount the future, and feel that even the best choices made now could go ary very quickly.

 

[mam219]

I got married on May 1st, My opinion:

Well, I am 26 years old and just got married about a month ago, though we were living married life already. We were together 4 1/2 years before we got married and were friends for about a year before that. We lived together since 2007 in a condo and bought our first house a little over 6 months ago.

For me, being married is zen-like. Not the word marriage, but for what it stands for. I was zenish before I was even married. I have a very loving relationship with a quality woman. For me, single life vs married life is very different.

Most of my old friends are still all single / can't hold a relationship. They have their fun and lots of adventures. Where as I usually just work on the house, stay in, save money, spend time with friends and family who are in a similiar relationships, and play with my dog. Some could say I am more "boring" than before, but its more about quality for me. I have been to hundreds of bars, had my adventures, and just got bored with it. The quality of life I experience now is much greater than it was before. I wake up to my woman everyday and lie next to her every night. That is a happy life for me and I am quite satisfied.

I do not believe that my happiness resides on myself having a steady woman in my life, but the outcome is that it does. Of course, I am sure that if it was the wrong woman, the outcome would be much different.

'Tis better to be a DJ dissatisfied or a contented p***y?'

To this quote, I agree, but not with the way it is worded. Be satisfied, but never content. As in don't give up you ambition - but don't be affraid to share it with a woman.

You are 43 right? I am sure you have more insight than most of us.

 

[zekko]

This is my ideal situation as well. How has it worked out for you? Does the social stigma draw any ire from "friends" or family?

It's worked out very well so far. I actually think it has helped me keep the frame because if she leaves she gets no settlement (no common law marriage in my state). We're together each day because we want to be, not because of any contract. As far as stigma goes, there hasn't been any issue at all. I think in this day and age people are used to seeing all sorts of living arrangements.

Why should someone who is not religious enter into an agreement that gives state and power supreme authority over my life?

You might also ask why should someone who IS religious enter into an agreement that gives state and power supreme authority over my life?

I have come to the conclusion that marriage in the current culture is not about spirituality but about the laws of the land. And unfortunately, this is not the country that I grew up in (the US). I barely recognize it. At one time it was a free country, but it isn't any longer.

 

[TurboOverCubicInches]

Mam is a good example of someone who is happy. He enjoys doing what he does.

For me, I feel bored at home. Unless I am in the studio producing music or working on closing a sale for work, I need to be out, meeting new people every day, adding adventures and stories to my already diverse repertoire.

My next step is, I want to move to a country in the middle east (Lebanon- city of Beirut) as I have connections there for my DJ work.

I want to go to the beach there, DJ clubs there and then repeat the cycle.

I want to be able to lie there on my deathbed, and recount all the traveling, the great shows I dj'd, the songs I wrote and people danced to, and all the crazy people I met.

I want God to look at my body and say "wow, what did you DO to this thing"?

But that's my perspective...my family is generally made up of stable people who make decent money, drive bland cars and live for family dinners and watching there kids get married and do the same.

At an early age, I decided that wasn't going to be me.

Once I am living the life I desire, then I will consider a woman worthy to be on board with me.

But again...to each their own. I think it's really cool to see such diversity on this board.

Being 30 though and starting to really pursue my passion, I just don't see the point of settling down. I have no desire to entertain someone every day when I get home from work. I need to be able to pick up and leave on a friday at a moment's notice to head out for a trip. And I really enjoy dating different girls all the time- not just to get laid but to really enjoy the many different females out there. I am also starting to see that, when you DO pursue your passion, alot of quality women are attracted to you. I won't tolerate a female who isn't out making a life for herself, following her dreams, keeping herself in top shape and sexy.

Why? Because I deserve better than that...plus women who don't have much ambition tend to look to her man for all her needs. I am not put on this earth to make a life for someone other than myself.

Just my two cents.

 

[squirrels]

I want God to look at my body and say "wow, what did you DO to this thing"?

I like it.

 

[Zarky]

Is marriage the zenith point in a man's life ?

This is a joke thread right?

 

[sodbuster]

On the plus side- you aren't wasting time chasing strange tail,drinking on the weekends. So you have more time to get things done-unfortunately, they seem to be yardwork,painting etc. You have the same problems if you own a house and are single.

One of the biggest downsides-if you want to make an investment in-say land that can't be sold right away and she wants a house? Since the divorce, I've bought 480 acres of farmland in a high wind area. Supposedly they want to put a wind farm on it. I won't spend the money until the check clears though

 

[Miles28]

Mam,

I'm glad you're contented but don't you find it scary that from the age of 21/22 until you are too old to care you will only ever be with one woman?

Maybe it doesn't bother you but it would scare the hell out of me. I can understand people wanting to settle down but just don't see why anyone would settle down so early. Isn't settling down at 35 or so and having 40 odd years of marriage enough?! Would have thought that anyone would want to really enjoy their twenties and, possibly, early thirties before committing.

I think many people get married this young because if they don't hold onto this one girl they'll never find another like her which is a great shame because the chances are you would meet quite a few equally suitable women (and in between have plenty of fun with not so suitable ones).

M

 

[synergy1]

It's worked out very well so far. I actually think it has helped me keep the frame because if she leaves she gets no settlement (no common law marriage in my state). We're together each day because we want to be, not because of any contract. As far as stigma goes, there hasn't been any issue at all. I think in this day and age people are used to seeing all sorts of living arrangements.

My ex's uncle did this, and when his gf ditched him, they went their separate ways without any fuss at all. He was fairly successful and owned his own businesses and could have been taken for a lot if it was a marriage and divorce was involved. Instead, the break up was amicable and there was no aftermath at all.

Now he lives near Harvard in Cambridge in a pretty sweet apartment, enjoys his spare time and continues to develop new business and live comfortably. He has time to enjoy his hobbies, and doesn't worry about his financial future. Seems like an O.K deal to me..

 

[squirrels]

Honestly, I have nothing against marriage, IF one can find the right mate.

That's a big "IF", and given what I've seen, you'll have to forgive me if I become skeptical when someone says they've found "The One".

The really sad part of it is that many women (and men!) would be much more eligible if they'd just drop all the BS and be honest and open with each other.

That means men need to stop supplicating and p*ssy-footing around with women, worrying so much about why the woman MIGHT withhold affection and/or approval, and women need to stop playing all the head-games they learn in Cosmo and trying to make "relationships" and emotions into a measurable science when CLEARLY they are not. All this crap does is create drama. And drama is the #1 leading killer of romance.

The best mate isn't the one you CAN'T live without, since being unable to live without someone indicates an incompleteness in yourself. The best mate is the one you CAN live without but would RATHER have in your life than not.