Is kissing in a club detrimental to furthering a relationship?

[Knicknack]

I've been going for the dance/kiss a lot recently, with little to no failures. After grinding for awhile the girl will always kiss me. None of this has led to a ONS, but I always get their number after we dance.

Some of these girls are really hot and I'd like to date them, but they always flake out when I call them. I understand alcohol makes them do crazy sh|t like make out with guys in clubs, but I can't believe that they all of the sudden forget how they acted when they wake up the next morning.

So my question is this; should I refrain from kissing them in order to appear less desperate for action and/or more of a challenge. We DJs have been taught to not be shy and make the move when you want to, so this is kind of contraditory. I assume they try to get kissed all the time, so it's no big deal to them. If I just dance and then go for the number, do you think it will help when they decide if they would date me or not?

 

[squirrels]

LOL...I've seen the same kind of thing in clubs. I wouldn't sweat it too much...some of these girls even have BOYFRIENDS (probably more like "borefriends") and are making out with other guys in clubs just for excitement, or out of sheer drunkenness.

Seriously, it's usually all in fun, even if it CAN get hot-n-heavy at times.

Here's a question for you...did you do anything to develop rapport with her? I mean, have any kind of conversation? Or did you just ask her to dance and then start workin' on her?

If she's there with friends, you're going to need to TALK to them. If you want to get with her later, you're going to have to TALK to HER. Unless it's a situation where you can take it to her right then and there, there's going to have to be some kind of verbal/social interaction. And while you've proven yourself more than worthy sexually, she still doesn't want to admit to herself that she's with you just to f--k.

After you dance with her for a little while, pull her off the floor and chat her up a little. Show her that you're more than just a f**k-stud, that you're a DJ with talent both physically, mentally, AND socially...maybe even philosophically (but not too much of that...remember the end-goal )

Maybe even get to know her friends, give them some attention. You're gonna have to go through them sooner or later, you know. When they plug her at the end of the night, "What's he like? Where does he live? Where does he work/study?" and she doesn't have any answers, she's gonna feel like such a slut.

After you chat her up a while, I'd vanish if you could, chat with some other people, and then come back for her number a little later...or get it there and then LEAVE. Maybe not leave the club, but find your friends and hang out elsewhere for the rest of the night.

Bear in mind, this advice isn't so much from success as it is from experiences I've had and my ideas of what MIGHT work if I did it differently. Still, remember you don't need to go out with every girl you meet. Sometimes grinding and making out on the dance floor, just in fun, can be a fun outing.

 

[xblitz44x]

Squirrels said some good stuff. First of all, if you're looking for something "meaningful" you're probably looking in the wrong place. Sit down and REALLY think about what kind of relationship you want, and where is the place that you're most likely to find girls that could accomodate. Girls could be at the club for the excitment, just to have fun, to get their drink on, for the attention, because they are horney for that second, who knows? But kissing them won't HURT your chances of being able to evolve it into something more. It just may not help either in that kind of environment. Keep going and doing what you're doing. If you're having no problem hooking up at clubs you'll eventually stumble upon one that feels the same way that you do.

-Blitz

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Knicknack
...So my question is this; should I refrain from kissing them in order to appear less desperate for action and/or more of a challenge. We DJs have been taught to not be shy and make the move when you want to, so this is kind of contraditory. I assume they try to get kissed all the time, so it's no big deal to them. If I just dance and then go for the number, do you think it will help when they decide if they would date me or not?

You can kiss them but you do not have to do it desperately. Women do it to men all of the time without seeming desperate while still showing their interest. Just do the same.

 

[Knicknack]

i'm not desperate when i kiss them. i start out just doing it for a second or 2 and slowly work my way up. i back off soon so as not to appear desperate. they don't walk away so i assume i'm doing something right.

i guess it doesn't hurt anything to kiss them. i met my last 1-month relationship girl in a club. we simply danced. she wouldn't kiss that first night. now i'm kissing all these girls and not getting anything out of them. i'm not looking for a LTR or anything. i just want them to be as responsive as they were in the club. i mean if you are willing to make out you can at least go on a date. too bad that's not the case.

last night i saw this tall, stunning blonde dancing, so i walked up and started dancing and small talking her. we ended up dancing twice that night for a total of 20-30 minutes. i kissed her a few times and she liked it. when her friends were ready to leave she was following them quickly out of the club. i motioned for her to stop so i could get her number. she stopped and gave it to me. now i'm hoping she will be receptive when i call her tomorrow. this is almost exactly how i got my last GF. it was even the same club. i hope history repeats itself, as this girl is amazing looking.

 

[wheelin&dealin]

I wouldn't kiss girls in clubs. It seems a bit too desperate and it shows that you are looking for something right then... like a ONS. Save the kiss for the first date.

I normally use eye contact and kino in clubs and then after a sufficient conversation I will go for the number close. I have no need to kiss a girl in a club... but do whatever works for you.