Is it too much to ask...

[thejackofalltrades]

Is it too much to ask that my gf not hang out with guys that she "used to have feelings for" or hooked up with? My girl has quite a bit of guy friends, and in general I really don't care if she wants to hang out with them. I have female friends that I hang out with, and study with and whatnot, so she has the right to do the same. However, when things became serious between us, I stopped talking with girls from my past simply out of respect for her and our relationship, and I assumed she would do the same. However, she constantly has lunch with a guy from her past. Though she always invites me to join them, as she loves to have me around, I get a little irritated b/c I can tell she has at least some level of attraction for the guy. Most of us can tell when a girl is interested in us if we look for cues like her pupils dilating and such while you're with her...well I can see all the cues when we're all hanging out together, and I feel like she's disrespecting me. I know my girl would never cheat, and that she's crazy about me, but I want say something simply b/c I feel I deserve the utmost respect from her. I know the guy isn't a threat as long as I keep doing things right, but shouldn't I make it clear that I expect a certain amount of respect?

Anyway, I'm a newbie to the forum, so I just wanted to say hi to everyone, and I thank you all in advance for welcoming me here, and for your responses and help.

 

[shark]

well, while others may tell you that you SHOULD say something and be the "man" and tell her the way it's going to be..i'm not going to agree.

If she really likes you like she says she does, and she had SOME attraction for this guy or used to..and you trust her and believe she wouldn't cheat on you..then really what is the problem? If you say something, you may come off a little insecure or whatever. If you CAN, try and let it go..she is INTO you not him. You have the upperhand..keep doing what you're doing. If it is REALLY bothering you..maybe you'll have to say something OR do something to somehow show her how you feel.

Personally, this would bother me A LOT if she did it alot..once-twice is one thint but alot..then I'd go out to lunch with a female friend of mine and see how she reacts. If she gets upset, you'll KNOW it and you can discuss it.

Remember, you have the upper hand. And you should try and let this NOT bother you b/c you are her man..he is just a friend.

 

[coder]

From David D:

"I think you two would make a cute couple, you should go for it!"

 

[flexion_]

I'd respect her as much as she respects you.

Just give it right back to her. Start hanging around with those ex's that you lost touch with and let her bring it up - if not then there is no problem. She should get the message.

Its her choice after all...