Is it too late to go from nothing to being a DJ?

[39year_old_virgin]

Simple question I guess, is there hope for someone like me? It is possible for someone my age to still game women and be a player, to make up for lost time? Any success stories of 30 something guys that have done this, or is late 30/early 40's just too old to go into clubs and use Mystery method or whatever?

 

[princelydeeds]

If a man says he can or he cannot he is probably right.

 

[piranha45]

this thread's only a couple down from your own:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=160529

 

[PeeGee]

You have no idea what you can or cannot do until you try. I spent my youth pushing and shoving and I have a pretty good idea of where I stand when it comes to the types of girls I should be gaming, the types of guys to just back down from, and the types of guys to push back.

I found late last year that I had some weight to lose, so I smacked myself for even letting myself get so out of shape, and lost 15 lbs in 2 months and kept it off (and then another 5 after that).

I used to subscribe to the idea of a friends ladder and a 'good' ladder, and that they were separate entities once it was established; or at least not worth worrying about. Earlier this year, on autopilot, I approached a friend and even though it was more complicated than I'd prefer (I think there's a DJ discussion thread where I verified something), I was able to do a successful 'ladder jump'. All without excessive planning, tricks, and what not. Just me and her, kino escalation, isolation and close. Terminology for ideas that are as obvious as they were natural to me.

Recently I met a friend of my brother's gf. She interested me, so I built up rapport over a few parties (complications with location prevented isolation) and when the time presented itself I did what needed to be done.

Looking back over the last half year, the only thing that I learned is that the only thing stopping you from doing anything is the actual act of doing -- are you doing it, or are you thinking of doing it? This is the basis of ideas like 3 second rule: the 3 seconds has nothing to do with anything except to stop you from double thinking and doubting. You do it. You don't even consider you might be rejected.

If I had one tip, it would be 'don't think: just do' (and then evaluate after you are out of the situation).

For you personally, you are 39 and thinking of improving. If your life is in order, the only thing left to do is to go through the DJ Bible.

 

[Radharc]

Hey man,

I´ve just read your other thread, let me just tell you that there´s nothing you can´t achieve if you want it bad enough and are willing to put the effort - and face the many setbacks you'll encounter.

A lot of ppl allready gave you very good advice, I´ll only add something:

1) Persistency is paramount, you´ll often have days when you´ll doubt yourself and your efforts and the possibility of ever achieving what you want, you´ll just have to endure, keep going. Big changes won´t happen overnight or magically. This is just like a sport, in order to achieve results you have to put in the effort and stick with it long enough to become good at it.

2) You have to focus on fixing your inner game and improving your presence in life: getting your sh1t together; women come as a consequence of that and not the other way around. That said don´t get too outcome dependent in the short term regarding getting women, i´d say you have some foundations to build before focusing on that in order to validate your progress.

Best of luck.

 

[Warrior74]

Yah man..you can do it. I would say ditch mystery method...in so much as using routines and openers and stuff. Just open with normal conversations wiht grown women. Hi, what's up and go from there. But you know what? Try it....screw all the advice you get, try everything and see what works and what doesn't work...that's what I did. Hell I did an exercise once where I had to walk up to 50 women and say Gooney goo goo! And then continue the convesation..it made it hard to recover but I learned alot. it doesn't matter what you say...just get out there and try. You can do it man, if you really want it. Good luck.

 

[Demodulate]

Do or do not, there is no try...

its all in your head, anyone can do anything, as long as they work for it..

just dont expect it to be easy.. if you put in the effort, you will be rewarded..

 

[fertileTurtle]

Simple question I guess, is there hope for someone like me? It is possible for someone my age to still game women and be a player, to make up for lost time? Any success stories of 30 something guys that have done this, or is late 30/early 40's just too old to go into clubs and use Mystery method or whatever?

No, but it will probably take 3-5 years of hardcore persistence. That's what my assessment is for the AFC after what I've gone through. I'm working more on my financial situation now, but I'm way further with women now than I ever dreamed of. Get into it hardcore and take a break every once in a while.

 

[Zonder]

Simple question I guess, is there hope for someone like me? It is possible for someone my age to still game women and be a player, to make up for lost time? Any success stories of 30 something guys that have done this, or is late 30/early 40's just too old to go into clubs and use Mystery method or whatever?

Mystery method is all about acting retarded. Kids can get away with it. You can't.

Overall success with women is a whole different story. If you're well rounded socially you shouldn't have any difficulty at all hooking up with women your age and younger. What I mean by that is that if you go to a place where there are at least 10 women your age you should be able to hook up with a decent looking one more than half the time. Yes, it's that easy (in your age bracket).

If you're socially awkward you should work on your social skills and meeting new people.

 

[Liberated]

Simple question I guess, is there hope for someone like me? It is possible for someone my age to still game women and be a player, to make up for lost time? Any success stories of 30 something guys that have done this, or is late 30/early 40's just too old to go into clubs and use Mystery method or whatever?

It depends on what you want. I know one guy who just finds a good looking escort once a month and does that. He is happy with his work life and hobbies and doesn't like the idea of being tied down to a woman on the pretense that she is his "soulmate" or some other pseudo-mystical BS.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Virgin,
My Boy lets call you Virgy for short but not for long....Yes it is too late if you are breathing your penultimate breath,but as rumour has it that you eat your Mueslie and fresh Orange juice for Breakfast,you have a long way to go....Look Mate,this is not a dress rehearsal,you come this way but once,so gather Rosebuds while ye may....Read the threads on here,then get out and meet chicks...don't be fussy,work your way up to the good lookers,Watching Porn is a bad way to have unrealistic expectations....try Yoga,Tech classes,dancing,Asian groceries,Oh Yeah and more dancing,Ballroom or Street Latin,don't forget a Notebook....Oh and get yourself in training for the big night Champ,not just your body,your Mind,conversation and don't forget to get your Pad in order for Le Grande Seduction.

 

[forward]

Go for it. And then just keep going for it. Don't beat yourself up when things don't go as you'd like, and don't worry whether you're coming across as a douche or a creep or whatever. Mainly just stop worrying altogether.

It's funny, several years ago when I was a virgin and new to this I thought the whole dating/sex thing was so difficult. It's a beautiful thing later on when you realize how easy it is. Seriously!! There's like a line you cross at some point and then it's just easy and fun. There's no more winning and losing or succeeding and failing.... it's all just a fun "game".

I have one warning:
Don't attach yourself to the first girl you "succeed" with. Not legally in the marriage sense (definitely not), but also not socially in the exclusive relationship sense. This advice is hard to follow.... I know because I didn't follow it. Fortunately I broke that off (but only after wasting 1.5 years on it) Being older and without experience you are a good "target" for women who just want a husband/kids. You should really bang several women before even considering exclusivity, both for the fun and the experience.

I've noticed a pattern:
A woman has more sexual respect for you when she is under the impression that you've had plenty of sex with plenty of girls before you were with her.
Conversely, when you lose your virginity to a woman, it's likely she won't have much sexual respect for you, though she may very well date you exclusively, marry you, etc.

Of course, the trouble with "patterns" such as these is that they are generalizations, and as such there are always exceptions. But since the world is full of hot sexy female goodness in every direction, I'd do what you can to stick to my advice above. Even if the first girl you plow does think you're Sexgod, it'll certainly be even easier to find a second such girl (They're everywhere! Banish this myth of "The Special One")