Is it something I am doing?

[Depressive2019]

"Man the f up or be forever miserable"

Thanks for the response from you all, especially the lengthy ones, I can tell you have put some real thought into them.

Here's, an update for you on what has happened since my last post...

I've done some though, soul searching, spoken with friends and done some reading. In a nutshell, because in the UK and she is from a different country I am not allowed to just kick her out of my house. Silly as this is, if I put them both and her things on the street I can get I'm trouble for it. She potentially could even claim some squatters rights, and get legal backing for right of residence.

I've realised as I've looked back on these posts, felt the pain which is inside of me and regurgitated the story of what's happening what the true issue is.

I feel I have not invested in myself enough.

Without this I have minimal self respect.

No Self Investment = No self Respect

Would a man who has his options with women allow a female to treat him like this?
Would a man with muscles, 6 pack abs and low body fat allow this?
Would someone with his career, finances and life in order allow it?
Would a man with self love allow this?

Would my boss?
Would my father?
Would a high ranking business man?
Would Patrick Bateman?
Would Donald Trump?
Would Jesus?
Would James Bond?

Fck No!!

So....In realising this I have made an obligation with myself to develop in every possible way. This creates growth, which in turn will create options.

Physically - Lifting every day, running a few times a week, intermittent fasting and watching what types of foods I eat.

Mentally - Decided to take up reading again and focussing on my hobbies. I used to listen to e books in my car a lot, so I will take that up.

Spiritually - Explore different aspects of my faith (I'm Christian) and begin reading my Bible again. Pray more and practice meditation, mindfulness and active faith. Also focus on my church life, witnessing, donations, etc

Financially - Opened up a secret savings account for myself. Make investments in savings, cash, precious metals and cryotocurrencies for myself and my children as an inheritance.

Personal goal - Do one thing a day which scares the crop out of me.....I actually did two today....

1) Sent my woman a text suggesting we split up if we cannot be happy together.

2). Offered some idiot who took offence to my driving, then tried to rear end me to a fist fight.

This could be useful to building confidence and self respect.

Maybe if I reach a certain point I will lose my scarcity mindset and realise there is more to my existence than catering to the will of someone else.

 

[lamath]

"Man the f up or be forever miserable"

Thanks for the response from you all, especially the lengthy ones, I can tell you have put some real thought into them.

Here's, an update for you on what has happened since my last post...

I've done some though, soul searching, spoken with friends and done some reading. In a nutshell, because in the UK and she is from a different country I am not allowed to just kick her out of my house. Silly as this is, if I put them both and her things on the street I can get I'm trouble for it. She potentially could even claim some squatters rights, and get legal backing for right of residence.

I've realised as I've looked back on these posts, felt the pain which is inside of me and regurgitated the story of what's happening what the true issue is.

I feel I have not invested in myself enough.

Without this I have minimal self respect.

No Self Investment = No self Respect

Would a man who has his options with women allow a female to treat him like this?
Would a man with muscles, 6 pack abs and low body fat allow this?
Would someone with his career, finances and life in order allow it?
Would a man with self love allow this?

Would my boss?
Would my father?
Would a high ranking business man?
Would Patrick Bateman?
Would Donald Trump?
Would Jesus?
Would James Bond?

Fck No!!

So....In realising this I have made an obligation with myself to develop in every possible way. This creates growth, which in turn will create options.

Physically - Lifting every day, running a few times a week, intermittent fasting and watching what types of foods I eat.

Mentally - Decided to take up reading again and focussing on my hobbies. I used to listen to e books in my car a lot, so I will take that up.

Spiritually - Explore different aspects of my faith (I'm Christian) and begin reading my Bible again. Pray more and practice meditation, mindfulness and active faith. Also focus on my church life, witnessing, donations, etc

Financially - Opened up a secret savings account for myself. Make investments in savings, cash, precious metals and cryotocurrencies for myself and my children as an inheritance.

Personal goal - Do one thing a day which scares the crop out of me.....I actually did two today....

1) Sent my woman a text suggesting we split up if we cannot be happy together.

2). Offered some idiot who took offence to my driving, then tried to rear end me to a fist fight.

This could be useful to building confidence and self respect.

Maybe if I reach a certain point I will lose my scarcity mindset and realise there is more to my existence than catering to the will of someone else.

Good resolution
Imo you need to deal.with bigger issue of that selfish women using you.
She is using you for your money and house, you need to find a way to throw her out.

Real man find solutions not excuses.
Get rid of that parasite!!!!

 

[touma.akagi]

she flat out refuses to claim maintenance from her child's dad.

Furthermore, my house is a mess. Constantly, and I'm physically drained from tidying and dealing with the drama from them two.

I never quite know what I'm going to walk into when I get home from work.

She wants to get married as soon as possible, so she can be "legally married" and wants a child to "cement things between us".

I am depressed as anything, and have done many hours of reading and watching YouTube videos in my spare time but none of it seems to help. I am trying to act as masculine, strong and emotionless as possible but I feel like a part of myself is dying somewhere.

Am I being to weak, emotional or caring too much?

Do I not care enough?

Mmmmm, if things are bad now and you think that it'll aaall just fall into place once you "cement" it with an ours child, man you are deluded. While you're at it, you might as well find a discarded foreskin and glue it to your peen and tell yourself you'll feel more pleasure.

You're not married to this woman already, so don't get married to her. If you have an earnest will to make this work, then put on the brakes and tell her that it's relationship/family counseling or the boot. Hate to resort to ultimatums with women, but this is one situation where it's called for.

 

[backseatjuan]

@Depressive2019 solution is easier than you can imagine...dump her today.. tomorrow find another woman.