OP, this is the exact scenario that happened to me
Well, I didn't even know about BPD at the time, let alone that she had it, but I met a full on waif-bpd at work
At first she was just this coworker who had depression and seemed sad a lot of the time, so i used to just tell her jokes and try and have a laugh and that, she ended up idealizing me. I didn't want to go there because she was a co-worker but she seemed really nice and caring, and she chased me for months so eventually i gave in.
When the devaluation happened, she very, very nearly got me fired. I had built a good reputation at work and was seen as someone who was going to go far in the company. After what she put me through I had a double whammy of disciplinary action laid upon me for her acting out, which i got blamed for too, and post that I had a nervous breakdown due to her emotionally torturing me for weeks. (afc on my part but i didn't know better at the time)
Anyway my rep at work is ruined, I only managed to keep my job by going over my (female) bosses head to her (male) boss, who was actually very understanding of my situation and quietly managed my ex out of the company.
I still have my job but i will NEVER be promoted now, I understand that, and i'll be getting a new job somewhere when it becomes available.
BPD's should never be trifled with, ever. But if you absoloutley have to make sure she doesn't know where you live or work, and certainly that she isn't a coworker
Get out of the relationship as soon as you can, in the nicest way you can (grey rock technique)
You won't though, you are too far in, the destruction is on it's way
