Is it possible for a guy and a girl to be "best friends"?

duke104

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 31, 2009
Messages
77
Reaction score
0
I recently started talking to this girl, and while she is showing interest in me, there's this guy she's always hanging out with. She said he's her best guy friend and they're definitely not more than friends, but I'm not sure if I believe it. Personally I find it hard for a guy to be "best friends" with a girl without there being any attraction from either end at any point in time. What do you guys think?
 

GADavid

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 20, 2012
Messages
166
Reaction score
9
He wants to bang her. She has him in friend zone. If you're at all the jealous type, and this post proves that you are, its going to be a hassle.
 

Werman

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 18, 2009
Messages
90
Reaction score
10
I forget the site I read it on, but I think it's very true. For men, there are two types of females, women we'd bang and relatives.

If she isn't kin to him, then he wants to bang her and is hanging around as an orbiter.
 

Zerro

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 23, 2011
Messages
576
Reaction score
24
Only if the guy is gay and/or the girl is a lesbian.
 

SoSuave666

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
1,125
Reaction score
873
One of three things is happening:

a.) the guy is trying to make moves but the girl is keeping him around as a beta orbiter.

b.) the girl is banging the guy and doesn't want you to know about it.

c.) he's gay
 

nismo-4

Moderator
Joined
Jan 31, 2005
Messages
4,421
Reaction score
1,127
Location
From New Orleans, Louisiana to Atlanta, Georgia!!!
SoSuave666 said:
One of three things is happening:

a.) the guy is trying to make moves but the girl is keeping him around as a beta orbiter.

b.) the girl is banging the guy and doesn't want you to know about it.

c.) he's gay
No one with a penis is really a friend

Women disagree, but they know it's all pretend.

They listen to their problems every time they phone 'em

But they're really not, guys just want to bone 'em!
 

konmai

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 20, 2007
Messages
168
Reaction score
4
of course, they can be best friends as long as they're not attracted to each other.
 

SgtSplacker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 18, 2011
Messages
2,041
Reaction score
499
SoSuave666 said:
One of three things is happening:

a.) the guy is trying to make moves but the girl is keeping him around as a beta orbiter.

b.) the girl is banging the guy and doesn't want you to know about it.

c.) he's gay
^^^ THIS!

Girls and guys can't be friends 99% of the time. Sure I won't say it's impossible, there's always the gay dude that knows the pastors daughter kinda thing. But usually it's the guy that has been friend zoned and the girl seeking validation that keeps him around. She feels horribly bad for him yet flattered at the same time so she just can't drop him... not yet. Then you come in, of course she is going to try and make both of you hang out together. After the hang session the orbiter is going to trash talk you because she deserves something better and he secretly hates your guts.
 

Iceberg

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 19, 2002
Messages
3,115
Reaction score
136
Age
43
Location
Manhattan, NY
SoSuave666 said:
One of three things is happening:

a.) the guy is trying to make moves but the girl is keeping him around as a beta orbiter.

b.) the girl is banging the guy and doesn't want you to know about it.

c.) he's gay

Hah. There's a 4th option.

I'm still pretty good friends with a few girls that I used to bang. It's like, okay we hooked up, got it out of our system, went ghost for a few months, then started hanging out again.

I wouldn't call them my "BEST" friends. But if I'm bored on a Tuesday night and just want a beer and conversation, they're good for that.
 

FairShake

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 8, 2008
Messages
2,426
Reaction score
307
Most emotionally healthy people can absolutely be friends with people from the opposite sex. Indeed most people I know have some of their closest friendships with someone of the opposite sex because there is less competition and I think women like the utilitarianism of guys and men like the nurturing of girls.

But all this begins at 28 or so. Before that male-female friendships are pretty fluid and usually end up fvcking.
 

Leporello

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 18, 2003
Messages
958
Reaction score
13
Location
DC
Yes, as long as they're not attracted to each other.
 

Young Juan

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 4, 2001
Messages
418
Reaction score
6
Age
40
Location
Ahwatukee, AZ
If he's a AFC/Chump, yes....I guess that's redundant. Plus a gay. Plus what SoSuave666 said. Plus, my friends girlfriends. Lastly, the ONE girl I grew up with since 6 grade that's now married, but is from my neighborhood and is basically one of the homies. Not ANY attractive chicks though, unless they're my friends girlfriends. I want to fvck the majority of the other ones.
 

ladyzman

Don Juan
Joined
May 4, 2012
Messages
60
Reaction score
1
A lot of you guys have a very narrow point of view regarding male/female friendships. A guy and girl can be friends. it's not that one sided.
 

ohnoes

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 2, 2011
Messages
24
Reaction score
0
It's possible for a guy and a girl to be best friends but uncommon.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,036
Reaction score
8,870
Of course it's possible for men and women to be good friends. However, usually there are some feelings (sexual or romantic) on the part of at least one of the two.

The real question is do you want to put up with a potential girlfriend who is always hanging around with some other dude? Now if you're just looking to bang this girl, it's not an issue, but if you think you might be looking for more, it could become a problem.
 

Gunner26

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 10, 2011
Messages
320
Reaction score
11
Location
London
I doubt that you can be best friends. Good friends though is absolutely possible, I live in a flat with 3 girls at uni, all of them are really close friends. And then there are another 3/4 girls who live elsewhere in the block that I get on really well with. I don't feel anything for them sexually at all.

However the girl I'm supposedly 'best friends' with, is the one that I wanted to f*** the most at one point, now we're just good friends who do the same course. Doesn't stop people telling me that her and I are going to hook up at some point in the future though as both of us have shown signals to each other on nights out.

Make of that what you will.
 

SgtSplacker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 18, 2011
Messages
2,041
Reaction score
499
Lets take a moment to define the type of "friends" at least I am talking about. Because a friend can be basically anyone you know enough to call by name. I think the best way to define what i'm talking about would be to use the frequency of communication they have together. I have friends I talk to maybe once a month or so, and I have friends I call every day and just discuss every iota of anything that happened to me that day. So when I say guys and girls cant be friends I mean the latter. A relationship that both of them take the time to maintain on a daily basis.

A) They spend time together.
B) They go out together alone.
C) They talk about personal things, like sex and relationships.

The first thing that makes this wrong is because one person (or both) almost always want more than just a friend. These relationships always have an aire of manipulation. Shes trying to maintain the orbiter, he's secretly trying to get in her pants, but not limited to only this. So they will maintain this facade for extended periods of time because they feel comfortable with each other. They like each other enough to keep this going, but they just can't/won't cross the line. All the while you show up with normal intentions and are thrust into this complicated stigmatized social system they have going on. Where she looks to him for validation when it comes to you, and he's jealous, closet hating and blocking your game. And all in her best interests of course because they are friends right. She kinda knows he's being biased but she's not entirely sure. Maybe he's right, maybe her new BF is just a player...<doubt has been instilled> And the roles just might be turned if the guy finds a girl he is interested in.

When I say guys and girls can't be friends it doesn't mean it's impossible for the thing to exist. It means that in your relationship with a woman it should not exist. It means that it's not the same thing as the type of friendship you usually have with your buddies. It's more than that and as such it's not a friendship, it's something else. Some kind of Anti-sexual-relationship...

Guy's and girl's can't be friends... (past the age of like 5)
 

Xenon

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 25, 2011
Messages
45
Reaction score
0
All the while you show up with normal intentions and are thrust into this complicated stigmatized social system they have going on. Where she looks to him for validation when it comes to you, and he's jealous, closet hating and blocking your game. And all in her best interests of course because they are friends right. She kinda knows he's being biased but she's not entirely sure. Maybe he's right, maybe her new BF is just a player...<doubt has been instilled>
I've walked into this dynamic before. I would ask this girl to go out, and she would say "well we were going to do this." I would ask, who is we? Yep...her "guy friend". And yea, I'm pretty sure he is in love with her too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA

I'm sure that's been posted before, but it's good.
 

bish0p

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 1, 2009
Messages
383
Reaction score
8
Iceberg said:
Hah. There's a 4th option.

I'm still pretty good friends with a few girls that I used to bang. It's like, okay we hooked up, got it out of our system, went ghost for a few months, then started hanging out again.

I wouldn't call them my "BEST" friends. But if I'm bored on a Tuesday night and just want a beer and conversation, they're good for that.
This.

I'm friends with an ex of mine. We stopped seeing each other abouf 3 years ago after she moved but continue to chat to this day. She's one of the few people who I can have a decent convo with.

She recently added my current girl as a friend on Facebook and my current knows about our previous relationship.
 
Top