Is it OK to settle? Or go for the gusto?

[SgtSplacker]

Went out on a date couple days ago and she just physically didn't do it for me. Now i'm not the kind of guy that must have the absolute prettiest girl by my side at all times. I do give points for character, alot of points. I do want to give her a chance to show me what she's made of. What if she has oral fixation or something? That's a win in my book! lol

I'm just not very excited about spending time with her. Part of me just wants to move on, but what if she shows me a side of her that I fall in love with? She's been calling and texting more and more lately, replying is feeling more and more like a chore. Is it fair to her to keep her around a little while longer or is the best thing to cut her off as soon as it doesn't feel like it's gonna happen? What i'm concerned with the most are her feelings I don't like leading anyone on and I am curious to get to know her a little better, but at what point do you have to make a decision?

At what point do you have to make a decision?

Now I did tell her before the date no strings attached and that were just going out as friends but c'mon we all know that's bullshiz. Most females on a dating site are looking for someone more or less permanent. If girls put "nothing serious" or "no commitment" I feel it's just that they don't want that date pressure but that they are looking for exactly the opposite if something good enough were to come along. And I do believe that there's some bad karma keeping orbiters around on purpose.

 

[vatoloco]

Went out on a date couple days ago and she just physically didn't do it for me... I'm just not very excited about spending time with her... She's been calling and texting more and more lately, replying is feeling more and more like a chore. Is it fair to her to keep her around a little while longer or is the best thing to cut her off as soon as it doesn't feel like it's gonna happen? What i'm concerned with the most are her feelings I don't like leading anyone on and I am curious to get to know her a little better, but at what point do you have to make a decision?

The sooner the better. It's gonna suck but it has to be done.

 

[handle]

If she isn't doing it for you now, what makes you think it could get better? It's more fair to you and to her if you don't waste anyone's time.

 

[Iceberg]

If you've already sold yourself on the idea that being with this girl is settling, then it's not going to work. It's the romantic equivalent of eating a tunafish sandwich on white bread every day for the next year. At first you're like "Hey, at least I'm eating, right?" then a month later, you puke at the mention of it.

I also had the terrible habit of keeping women around, just as something to do on a boring night. Yes, it's sex. And yes, it's company. But f**k that. If you're not into it, then your time is better spent reading, working out, or even sleeping.

Obviously, it's unrealistic to think that you'll only date women you have an intense passion for. But when your body is telling you that you have zero appetite for this girl (physically, emotionally, socially) you gotta listen to it.

 

[SgtSplacker]

All your replies remind me of the Southpark ski guy "You're gonna have a bad time"... lol

But yeah this may be a situation of bad getting OK, not good getting better as it should be...

Advice taken texts will be ignored, anyways I have actually been doing better on POF lately after having changed my strategy a bit.

Thx..

 

[Leporello]

This is much worse than settling.

 

[PapiChulo]

And some women can be just as AFC as men! And you start feeling resentful of ever starting anything. I ve also tried explaining the whole thing about enjoying and being in the "now", needless to say- it doesn't quite work. Funny thing is that when you have options and know you can do better, falling for a woman is not easy anymore. Honestly, you gotta let them go quickly, unless they arent needy to actually orbit you. A year ago, I would jump into it just to get some affection and sex. Now I don't think I would be interested into seeing only one woman.

 

[ladyzman]

I personally don't like leading girls on, I've done it before for the sex but later regretted it. Not worth it. Better to stop wasting both your times and let the girl find someone who really takes an interest in her.

 

[SgtSplacker]

And lets face it women need to be paid attention to, taken out, considered, entertained, etc and if you're not totally excited about her it's just not happening or if it is you're forcing yourself and that's not how it should be.

I'm just kinda torn because I feel I could get to know her a little better to make a better judgment and exactly that would make it all the more difficult to cut her off later. But from what i'm gathering here it's better earlier than later.

One more reason why it's important to lay these girls quickly!

It's for their own good!!!

I read what I write and I feel like i'm lying or FOS but it's kinda true...

It's tough sometimes... tough

 

[Eternal_water]

lol, If it was me I'd get in her but our situations are clearly very different. Probably in your case you should move on.