is it ok for us guys to initiate holding hands?

[tony-montana]

this girl who i very much like and have been seeing for a couple months. i dont know if it makes me look wimpy or not by grabbing her hand while we walking or something. i did it a couple of times in our earlier dates. we play with each others hands and stuff when we are sitting down and talking but i mean when we are walking around town or something. she's kind of shy and has a really soft personality. i plan on going for a walk with her tomorrow around my hood and i was just gonna grab her hand .. the other times it didnt seem to bother her. but i just dont wanna look wimpy or anything.


another thing:

i dont even know if its shy or just the way she is.. she always asks me for permission when we are out like "is it ok if i drink a bit?" "my friend is coming is that ok?" "im coming over at 5 is that ok?" its kind of cool in a way she always asks me these things. also if shes at my house and i bring her inside she just stands there .. i have to tell her to sit down and stuff. i remember ex gfs use to just barge into my house and jump on my bed, take their shoes off and lie there talking to me. i didnt mind that either, because i didn't have to lead them to do everything. they had a much stronger personality. this girl is just really soft. pretty much does anything i ask her to. if i change my mind she'll just say accept it. lol. you know what i mean? i don't think she's been with many guys before.. shes a tomboy as well and i kinda checked her facebook and the last relationship she had was 2007 (listed on fb anyway) can kind of tell when we have sex that its been a while for her. i have to tell her how to get in position properly sometimes. heh.

 

[SandHawk]

Why are you bothered about holding hands being wimpy? It's a form of kino, leading to the production of oxytocine and therefore bonding. When I'm with a girl that I've been dating for a few times(usually aroudn the 2 or 3rd date) I hook my arms into hers, wrap my arm around her waist or shoulder or hold her hand.

It has nothing to do with being wimpy, beta or whatever, it has to do with being intimate with someone. Just do what feels good for you without bothering about what the rest of the world is thinking about it. If my friends would tell me I'd be a wimp for holding a chicks, screw them, I'm the one getting laid in the end, not they. Stop worrying so much about what the rest of the world expects from you and just do what you want to do.

 

[Ease]

She sounds nice and quiet. If you want her to be more relaxed around you, then teach her how to act. Its your duty to teach her and tell her what to do.

 

[tony-montana]

She sounds nice and quiet. If you want her to be more relaxed around you, then teach her how to act. Its your duty to teach her and tell her what to do.

yeah i do want her to chill out a bit. like when i invite her in she just stands in the hallway and im like "you can sit down in my room you know, relax." then she'll just sit there like all polite and stuff with her hand on her legs lol, its funny. normally my ex gfs or random fuk buddies would just jump on my bed and kick off their shoes n chill out.

its kind of cute but sometimes shes just a little too soft. she does talk a lot when shes relaxed and im sure shes very open around her friends, but i feel shes different with me. i guess slowly slowly she will chill out eventually

oh and thanks for the advice, i'll keep note.

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

Man, if there's anything I hate its hand holding.

Maybe I'm just a cold dude, but I feel bad for the guys I see walking around the city hand-in-hand with their girl.

Funny thing is, I can tolerate when they hook my arm. But the hand holding thing...ugh. Why?

 

[EvilAgenda]

Yes, it is ok for us guys to initiate holding hands.

Are you worried about what others might think of you if you hold her hand? Are you worried she might think you are a wimp if you hold her hand? Are you asking the group of guys here for permission to hold her hand?

You need a slap to remind you to be your confident self.

 

[The_411]

Personal choice, imo. It's good for leading a woman somewhere and many women like to hold hands. However, in your case it sounds like you're overthinking it a bit much. Women want to hold a man's hand when they like you, want to be led, and/or want you to escalate kino and physical contact.

Just like everything else do it intermittently and if you make a decision to do so don't hesitate. Don't make her get used to you holding her hand every second and try not to get into a pattern so that she knows when you will hold her hand.

I've noticed that if you are intermittent and don't have a regular schedule more often than not a woman will grab your hand.