Is it just me?

[CableLight]

Is it just me, or do things calm down in your 18-20 years? High school was one mind rape of emotion after another, and I haven't gotten to the bar scene yet, but these first two years of college aren't really all that "tough."

Here's what I mean - People are more mature now, and I can't really delve into the "game" of the stereotypical bar scene. It seems like this little phase of my life is pretty stress free - Go out, hit a house party, have fun, go home. Pick up a girl? Great. If not, doesn't matter; still had a lot of fun.

Like...It's all about just having fun and enjoying the moment. There's no real big push to date someone or to even hook up with someone. It's like doing that would just be, for lack of a better expression, extra credit - You dont need to do it, but it can be nice.

I'm not complaining, though - Just surprised (in a good way). In all honesty, I'd rather have this be the way things operate than ever really having a huge drive to lock in a chick. Great if it does happen, but it's not like the major goal I'm facing or anything.

Anyone else have this experience or know where I'm coming from? If so, what - if any - is the next mentality phase? Does there need to be one?

 

[CableLight]

Ouch...Guess it is just me...

Merry Christmas.

 

[Fenderules]

yeah some things i find a lot better like maturity. but as for parties im not going to any! it sux ass now. i dunno me and my friends barely go to any house parties. thats wut sux and im not big into clubs since its they are 2 loud to talk in and are full of smoke and everybody is a stranger

I like house parties cause you can chill, talk to some find ladies

 

[CableLight]

Originally posted by Fenderules

I like house parties cause you can chill, talk to some find ladies

That last line kinda sums up what I'm talking about for this age group.

The idea is to just chill. You're just there having fun, living the youthful life that will soon abandon you. There's nothing wrong with this, I believe.

What I mostly want to know, however, is if this is it. To me, this is the pinnacle of my "DJ Career" - not really caring about scoring with a girl, but just living a happy life. I'm wondering if this could ever need to change or if this is simply the realization of what I've been striving for.

Is there something work on after this? Does there need to be? That sorta thing.

 

[Oxide]

Last year when it was my first year in college i was at a stage where i was at a point saying "im tired of all these stupid ass girls!"..who need them anyway?


Now, it has been a year.. what changed? Well, I definately want great looking girls..but at the same token i do not want to settle down for anything else.. the problem with that is you will pass up a lot of girls..while other guys go "Well..i am at about 30 girls now.. or 40..or 50" while you think .. "well, i am at about 4..."

The other thing is, i have absolutely no idea if what im doing right now (keeping standards high) is the right thing for a 20 year old to do... Is the lack of sex going to make me more desperate? Or am i going to be surrounded by beuatiful girls the rest of my life?

Cable, just have fun.. I treat most of the girls (if not all) just like i am a great guy who is having fun.. Not stressing over girls but being able to know who you want to go after (AND DO IT) is the impotant thing.. Dont make excuses like "I really dont care for girls right now.." when you dont have the balls to approach the hottest girl at the next house party...

****... look how this whole thing is slanting towards "Looks are everything"... scary sh1t... But honestly, once you deal with stuck up sexy dumb b1tches, you will not want a relationship with one no matter how hot she is.. but you already knew that.

 

[david90]

To my understanding, ur saying that it is easy for u to get a girl and to hook thus there is no challenge. Why are u here?

We're here cuz we're having problem with what u think is easy (hooking up). Most of us are AFC so i think that's why there aren't a lot of replies.

 

[CableLight]

Originally posted by Oxide
I treat most of the girls (if not all) just like i am a great guy who is having fun.. Not stressing over girls but being able to know who you want to go after (AND DO IT) is the impotant thing..

That's what I'm talking about...I have no reservations or fears of talking to women in, I would say, almost any situation. It just seems like the whole "game" thing has dissolved away to the point of seeing everyone as people, not "Oh my God, I need to get her phone number" and such. There's no real urgency, so to speak. This is not to say I simply idle around and not do anything - I think I've gotten more phone numbers this last semester than I have my whole life. It's just that I'd rather party/hang out with them than start a real relationship, you know?

This is what I'm wondering, though - Is this a bad thing I should consider revamping? Now, if I happen to be awe-struck by a particular lady I'll go for it, but I haven't met anyone that fits my personal criteria of someone I'd really like to date yet. There are people I'm attracted to, yet I really wouldn't want them as more than friends, possibly with benefits in some cases

David - I've been apart of this site for around three years now. I guess I personally still enjoy coming here and whatnot simply because I enjoy the people here and don't feel that I know all there is to know yet, hence the question in this thread. I'll admit there isn't a huge proverbial mountain to climb when meeting women anymore, but that doesn't mean my journey here is over. There's still things I can work on and plenty of new things to try, as I would imagine is true for a lot of people.

 

[david90]

 

[Matt Rogers]

Interesting post. I suppose college is good in that there isn't the same scrutiny and pressure. No-one cares who you are dating, what you do with your time, etc. so you have the freedom to be yourself and do your own thing. It is quite liberating after the whole posturing and status stuff in high school.

Also very few people have serious relationships in college (apart from the few virtual marriages which always occur). It seems that most people are just content to pick up girls when they feel like it and not get too involved with anyone. In some ways this is good, but it is also frustrating-as girls seem very afraid of commitment and for guys like me more interested in a LTR with a quality girl-it is quite hard to find suitable girls at college.

I get a sort of apathy that you seem to be hinting at. Life is easy, there aren't many challenges, and it can get awfully boring.

While I will miss college I am looking forwards to being an independent professional, better able to pursue my dreams and able to meet more mature girls (college girls can be awfully ditzy)

 

[Scought]

I think it is like a pendulum. It swings back and forth.

I think its GREAT that you go out for yourself and your friends first, girls secondary. Thats how it should be. Girls are around to enhance your life, not make if your life, like a lot of people on here seem to think.

Parties are fun, chill, relax, and if something happens so be it.
thats good, you'll remember the fun times more than youll remember trying to pick up Suzie Co-Ed.

The bar scene sort of reverts back to your first party days. Its a new thing and everyone is out to mingle and drink and some of the games come back around again.
Then you get used to that scene and it becomes more of a place to chill if you want, or go pick up girls. It jsut depends.

But like life your interests will swing and wane, and nothing stays the same for too long.

I have noticed girls get into games and such at bars when you first become of age. Just like when you first go off to college parties.

I'm glad and I think its refreshing that you are doing what YOU want to do first and arent so concerned with women.
Good. People put too much stock into them. You need to have a life first before you can pick up girls, and you seem to have that.

There is nothing wrong with whats going on. Things are always changing and its fun.

Good insight.

 

[Fenderules]

yeah 2 bad teh university i go to dosnt have any parties. everybody is gay

 

[CableLight]

Alright, thanks for the responses guys. The whole situation makes a bit more sense and things seem a bit more normal. Anytime I have less to concern about, the better.

I can't say I'm looking forward to the club scenes with open arms; I like this simplicity and mood. Then again, I suppose after a little while of adjusting to the new phase that things won't be terribly different and it'll all be chilled out again.

At least, that's the goal