Is it just me?

[Lexington]

Or has this board become more negative over the past year or so? Maybe I remember incorrectly, but it seemed to me when I first started coming to these forums back on '08, the emphasis was on self-improvement and discussing tactics for putting your best foot forward with the ladies.

Lately it seems to me that there is a lot of cynicism, negativity and bitterness on these boards. I'll be the first to admit that I have partaken in some of it as well. My guess is that it's at least partially due to the current state of affairs in the world and especially in America. Times are tough, and there's a lot of self-doubt and anxiety out there.

I for one will have to admit that I've become just a little bit more cynical and less optimistic than I was before. I'm going to make the choice to take a more positive outlook on everything and be a little bit more appreciative of all the good things I've got going on.

Maybe the extra negativity I see on these forums is just me projecting my inner state onto the external world. But I really think that these boards (particularly the mature man forum) have changed. I hope we can return to our more positive and uplifting state.

 

[women haze]

Problem is that the Social Dynamic and the game is becoming harder, and for many men it just feels utterly hopeless.
I had 3 plates going and ended up with 0 in one week all flakes....

It is hard to remain positive, when nothing positive happens when you are trying.....

 

[squirrels]

Or has this board become more negative over the past year or so? Maybe I remember incorrectly, but it seemed to me when I first started coming to these forums back on '08, the emphasis was on self-improvement and discussing tactics for putting your best foot forward with the ladies.

Lately it seems to me that there is a lot of cynicism, negativity and bitterness on these boards. I'll be the first to admit that I have partaken in some of it as well. My guess is that it's at least partially due to the current state of affairs in the world and especially in America. Times are tough, and there's a lot of self-doubt and anxiety out there.

I for one will have to admit that I've become just a little bit more cynical and less optimistic than I was before. I'm going to make the choice to take a more positive outlook on everything and be a little bit more appreciative of all the good things I've got going on.

Maybe the extra negativity I see on these forums is just me projecting my inner state onto the external world. But I really think that these boards (particularly the mature man forum) have changed. I hope we can return to our more positive and uplifting state.

That's because this board used to be about "pick-up", nightlife adventures, and lovemaking.

Now it's infected with the "relationship mentality", and the men here are rather p*ssed off about it.

So many noobs starting the same conversations, about how to handle a specific girl in a specific situation in a way that makes them seem like more of a man than they actually are.

That mixed with guys who leapt into "relationships" that the true "Don Juans" see as a running joke. Those guys are taking those relationships so seriously that they are beyond hope...bitter, angry shells of their former selves, more interested in commiserating their wretched state than returning to the FREEDOM of being able to choose one's OWN direction in life.

This women-stuff used to be FUN. What happened to that? Let's be honest...at some point, the forum became less about HAVING FUN with women and more about PROVING SOMETHING to ourselves/winning the respect of women to feel better about ourselves.

There are very few "Don Juans" on this forum any more...just a bunch of well-read "AFCs", mocking each other for their AFC mistakes and thinking recognizing them makes them better people than those who do it subconsciously.

That's why there are no "field reports" any more...because we've become ASHAMED OF SUCCESS on this forum. We hesitate to post our experiences with the ladies for fear of someone telling us all the little mistakes we made. Those MISTAKES are what we LEARN from, how we LEARN to be more "Don Juan". But it's not being Don Juan that's important, it's LOOKING Don Juan in front of the REST of the AFC forum-nerd wanna-bes.

People need to start realizing that whether the game is getting "easier" or "harder", the game is what it is. You can't complain about how hard it is...all you can learn to do is play better.

If you're not enjoying this, then SIGN OFF of this forum and QUIT women altogether. It's very liberating...they're just another hassle to deal with in most cases. Love feels like death sometimes.

 

[SecondHalf]

Regardless if this forum is negative or not, I must tell you I'm happy for it's existence.

I've learned a great deal about myself since I began reading these forums and they have caused me to seriously consider how I was living my life.

I typically only skim the threads that cry "woe is me", but the ones that focus on self improvement and improving your understanding of "normal" women, I read carefully.

Since reading these forums I've ....
-started working out again (need to gain back some weight)
-replaced half my wardrobe
-am putting more effort into my business
-finding / rediscovering new hobbies
-thinking about the future rather than trying to distract myself to prevent it
-and for the first time in my life, worrying more about myself than some woman

For all those frustrated master/senior DJ's out there that think the forum has changed, I just wanted to say ... you've helped me and I thank you for it.

For what it's worth,

SH

 

[Colossus]

People have been saying that for years, at least since I've been here. I've even said it myself a few times. The board goes through phases and it's only natural you are going to see some negativity on men's dating/seduction forum.

Negativity is a lot like a fire; it needs to be fed or it will burn itself out. I used to rail against all the cynicism and misogyny I saw here, but it does nothing. Just dont feed it; keep your own posts objective and positive and dont add to overly negative discussions. I dont even click on those thread titles anymore.

 

[Die Hard]

Positive, negative, whatever... A valuable thread/comment/conversation is still valuable even if the forum as a whole has become more negative (which I doubt, by the way). Take from the forum what's valuable to you and disregard whatever is not valuable to you.

And stop whining! (whether it's about women or this forum)


P.S. WTF happened to jophil??

 

[zekko]

Now it's infected with the "relationship mentality", and the men here are rather p*ssed off about it.

I'm in a relationship and I'm not p!ssed off at all. I find relationships far more fulfilling than random hookups. I'm sure that makes me AFC in the eyes of some guys here. Certainly not in mine.

Finding a good LTR is a lot like finding a best friend. It's a rare thing to be able to find, and something to be valued. A good LTR as similar to a best friend, it has to be someone you enjoy talking to, has similar views and values as you, and someone you enjoy sharing experiences with. Apparently this type of thing isn't for everybody, but I don't see how anyone can see it as a bad thing.

Trolling the bars for skanks is not something that sounds appealing to me these days. I don't even care to drink much anymore, to tell the truth.
I'm sure the nightlife thing is more exciting for the young guys. And even if you would like a relationship but haven't found a worthy candidate yet, you don't have much choice but to go the pickup route.

I agree people here are too negative though. The picture is not quite as bleak and hopeless as some guys here would like to paint it.

 

[Boilermaker]

as long as +50 year olds try to dominate the forum with their "wise" ideas, world views and their smug self-righteousness

this won't change.

Not every old member is a Rollo, yet they demand the same respect from everybody in return for their bitterness .. and life stories who nobody cares ..

and when they see that nobody gives a damn about it, they become even more bitter .. they remind me of those self-entitled b!tches, these grumpies themselves constantly whine about .. Ironic .. and sad..

 

[Zunder]

How do you define "bitter"?

I mean, its an easy thing to say....'He's bitter"....

 

[Pilo]

It's the economy. Barack Obama's fault lol

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Heh, oh, this thread again,..

You know, I'm still kind of bewildered how people interpret 'bitter'. It's an easy epithet for guys too lazy to really critically consider the advice their getting. You want bitter and negative? Go check out any hardcore MRA forum/blog rooted in eugenics mixed with a healthy dose fanatical conservatism and then come back here and tell us how "negative" this forum is.

 

[Boilermaker]

haha, Danger, what are you talking about?

I never was hooked on a BPD chic. I doubt you even know what a BPD chic is. you are one of those resident psychiatrists in the forum?

At least I have enough confidence to admit that my problems were due to my own inabilities ... not due to some chic's demented psyche.

 

[Boilermaker]

you are confusing me with someone else.

do you want to show a "link" to prove your point? Or we could continue the hijacking by going back and forth like this.

 

[romangod]

Heh, oh, this thread again,..

You know, I'm still kind of bewildered how people interpret 'bitter'. It's an easy epithet for guys too lazy to really critically consider the advice their getting.

Yup, how many times has this thread come up?


Many here don't know the difference between "bitter" and "cynical". Any mature man that hasn't acquired a healthy cynicism is living in a parallel universe ready to be swallowed up by the matrix. Being naive is the root of being an AFC.


Cheers!

 

[The_411]

It's a reflection of the times. The economy is terrible, society continues to be more about entitlement, and narcissism is at an all-time high.

The main issue is that posters are becoming way too results oriented rather than learning and understanding that the key is improving yourself over time, and with gradual self improvement alot of the girl realted problems/issues will subside.

Most are too impatient or are trying to turn lead into gold (friendzone into romatic relationship).

 

[speed dawg]

So many noobs starting the same conversations, about how to handle a specific girl in a specific situation in a way that makes them seem like more of a man than they actually are.

That mixed with guys who leapt into "relationships" that the true "Don Juans" see as a running joke. Those guys are taking those relationships so seriously that they are beyond hope...bitter, angry shells of their former selves, more interested in commiserating their wretched state than returning to the FREEDOM of being able to choose one's OWN direction in life.

So you basically want to quit helping the legions of guys out there who really need this site? Ridiculous. This site helped me change my ways. And I feel as if I owe it to this site to use my learned knowledge and continue stamp out the AFC-ness running rampant in our society right now.

This site isn't just for people who've learned their lesson to just sit around talking about pvssy all day. I'm guessing you want to not put in what you've gotten out of the site, huh?

There's room for all types of threads in this forum, and you don't have to read them all, much less take the time to whine about them. Sounds to me like you guys are the ones trying to make yourself feel more like a man.

 

[countermart]

I think if you are not cynical now with what is happening, both with women and the economy then you do not have a clue what is going on. As you get to know modern women and their motives they are actually becoming more difficult to love, or even care about. Their loving exterior will turn up with a not so loving lawyer if it all turns bad. Read, they do not get what they want.

I meet so many unhappy women who have basically been f’ed over by feminism and now want a house in the suburbs and two kids that it is getting monotonous. Literally I have one at the moment saying as much and asking, “Don’t I like s*x”. “Yes, I do but there is no way I am going to swap it for freedom.”

She thinks because I don’t want a relationship and she’s good looking that there must be something wrong with me and I must be very unhappy. But no, I am really happy being free. The fact is I do not need a woman to make me happy.

AFC always want to give up their freedom for some pu**y and it’s not worth it. They risk everything for it, that’s AFC.

The funny thing is women seem to sense indifference and go after you more. Women are so focused on the importance of relationships, that they cannot understand that freedom feels darn good to a man! What do most of them bring to the table, commonly apart from what is between their legs, quite a lot of drama and risk. In fact, I feel a bit sorry for them, but I have no intention of saving them.

So I’ll go back now to my very happy, cynical world, call it reality, where I have to tell girls to go away.

Countermart

 

[zekko]

AFC always want to give up their freedom for some pu**y and it’s not worth it. They risk everything for it, that’s AFC.
<snip>
What do most of them bring to the table, commonly apart from what is between their legs, quite a lot of drama and risk..

I have to comment on this, since it seems to reflect a common way of thinking around here.

I agree that marrying or, in some cases, cohabitating with a woman is an inheritently risky situation (I'm not married currently, but I live with my girlfriend). Apparently some posters take offense when this is pointed out and see it as negative, but that's a fact.

How much drama a woman brings depends on the woman. My life with my LTR has been very much drama free.

But here's the point: If it were just about the sex, I wouldn't be living with my girlfriend, I wouldn't be married, I wouldn't even be exclusive. The reason I'm with my girl is I like having a partner in life and someone to share my values and experiences with. I enjoy her company. Sex is just the icing on the cake.

A lot of guys here obviously really do not like women, apart from being able to fvck them. Clearly you are going to want to avoid any sort of commited relationship if you feel this way.

A lot of guys say that men make better friends. Maybe this is so, but I'm not going to live with one. I don't care to have more than one bull on the ranch, if you know what I mean. I'm too territorial.

Sex is not reason enough to enter a relationship, you should actually like women (or at least, a woman) to get into one.

 

[Solomon]

This women-stuff used to be FUN. What happened to that? Let's be honest...at some point, the forum became less about HAVING FUN with women and more about PROVING SOMETHING to ourselves/winning the respect of women to feel better about ourselves.

There are very few "Don Juans" on this forum any more...just a bunch of well-read "AFCs", mocking each other for their AFC mistakes and thinking recognizing them makes them better people than those who do it subconsciously.

That's why there are no "field reports" any more...because we've become ASHAMED OF SUCCESS on this forum. We hesitate to post our experiences with the ladies for fear of someone telling us all the little mistakes we made. Those MISTAKES are what we LEARN from, how we LEARN to be more "Don Juan". But it's not being Don Juan that's important, it's LOOKING Don Juan in front of the REST of the AFC forum-nerd wanna-bes.

People need to start realizing that whether the game is getting "easier" or "harder", the game is what it is. You can't complain about how hard it is...all you can learn to do is play better.

If you're not enjoying this, then SIGN OFF of this forum and QUIT women altogether. It's very liberating...they're just another hassle to deal with in most cases. Love feels like death sometimes.

At times I'm amazed by what this cat squirrels writes, while I may not be able to articulate myself well this guy hit the FIng nail on the head with this post and what he wrote basically is how I've been feeling for awhile. Go on the Main discussion forum you got cats like troll and elman gentry giving out advice and they only been here for 2 months, If everyone is a teacher then who is the student?

Even after 3 years, I'll be the first one to admit that I'm far from a Don Juan(If i was I wouldn't be here)I'm a guy who is a work in progress. To identify my worth in the types of women I smash, or how many was one of the silliest things I could ever do . Honestly my mistakes is why I learned, hence after 3 years, no matter how embarrassing certain situations are I still post them. I need to be constantly reminded because its so easy to "fall" back into the old way of thinking.

The problem is everyone has it figured out and like Squirrles said no one wants to put themselves out there, so now you got the older heads who feel they don't have to to write anything, hence the board is skewed in theories. This is why Jophil was the man. While he was able to theorize with the best of him, he also posted from experience. This is why I also respect guys like 5string, Warrior etc. While most guys may look at FR's at not being able to help guys are posting their experiences. The truth is different guys learn different ways. The theories didn't mean shyt to me until I had some experience (a years worth) of putting it into practice and even then i haven't perfected it, How real is that?

It's a reflection of the times. The economy is terrible, society continues to be more about entitlement, and narcissism is at an all-time high.

The main issue is that posters are becoming way too results oriented rather than learning and understanding that the key is improving yourself over time, and with gradual self improvement alot of the girl realted problems/issues will subside.

Most are too impatient or are trying to turn lead into gold (friendzone into romatic relationship).

It sounds so simple does it not? but it's not. This is what I've been trying to tell some of yall including myself. No one is gonna be a millionaire overnight or even in one month, or a year. Your not gonna have that ripped body in a day etc. I have to remind myself that every day