Is it ever good to bring something up you feel you may be doing wrong with a woman?

[BackInTheGame78]

Been seeing a plate for about 2.5 months and things are progressively getting more serious...we tend to spend the night on weekends when we see each other. However, this time of year is always a little tough for me since my Mom passed away 5 years ago and I sense I may be acting a little "different" than normal. Maybe more affectionate or more...I don't want to say needy because that isn't it...more wanting of her to be in proximity. Like we went to the drive in movies last weekend and I reached over and held her hand for a good 15 or 20 minutes...and I don't want to make it seem like she didn't want to do it or anything because she interlaced her fingers and squeezed it tight.

But I just kind of feel I am treading in dangerous waters here with how I have been maybe doing a little too much.

I was thinking of just saying something like "Hey...I was talking with my friend the other day and he made a comment that I seemed a little off and he said he noticed it the last few years around this time. So I just wanted to bring this up in case you noticed anything maybe slightly different that it isn't just you..."

Or something to that effect. I'm not sure if this is a good idea to pre-emptively bring something like this up and then make it a point to ensure I don't let this become too frequent.

 

[Asseater]

Seems like being direct would help your case rather than beating around the bush. If you told her your mother died around this time a few years ago and it hurts you, and she starts pulling away, then you know she is low quality and worth leaving at that point.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Seems like being direct would help your case rather than beating around the bush. If you told her your mother died around this time a few years ago and it hurts you, and she starts pulling away, then you know she is low quality and worth leaving at that point.

She didn't die around this time...moreso a lot of holiday traditions that I really enjoyed and reminded me of family died with her also.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Been seeing a plate for about 2.5 months and things are progressively getting more serious...we tend to spend the night on weekends when we see each other. However, this time of year is always a little tough for me since my Mom passed away 5 years ago and I sense I may be acting a little "different" than normal. Maybe more affectionate or more...I don't want to say needy because that isn't it...more wanting of her to be in proximity. Like we went to the drive in movies last weekend and I reached over and held her hand for a good 15 or 20 minutes...and I don't want to make it seem like she didn't want to do it or anything because she interlaced her fingers and squeezed it tight.

But I just kind of feel I am treading in dangerous waters here with how I have been maybe doing a little too much.

I was thinking of just saying something like "Hey...I was talking with my friend the other day and he made a comment that I seemed a little off and he said he noticed it the last few years around this time. So I just wanted to bring this up in case you noticed anything maybe slightly different that it isn't just you..."

Or something to that effect. I'm not sure if this is a good idea to pre-emptively bring something like this up and then make it a point to ensure I don't let this become too frequent.

Is this the plate from the past you dialed or a different girl?

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

She didn't die around this time...moreso a lot of holiday traditions that I really enjoyed and reminded me of family died with her also.

It sounds like cognitive dissonance. I think therapy might help but it is a man hating profession so, similar to dating, you must Vet. You can work through **** yourself but the clocks ticking. The resorting back to a girl in the past could be a thing based on the timing. People want somebody especially in a pandemic. And especially in the holiday season. The blue pill idealism and conditioning is a *****.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Is this the plate from the past you dialed or a different girl?

No no...this is someone I have been seeing regularly the past 2.5 months or so.

 

[EyeBRollin]

No. Don’t ever bring up a problem you think you may have related to yourself or your own actions. Let her bring that up. You’re perfect (you aren’t, but keep the image of everything is good) until she makes a point to say otherwise. Keep your personal problems to yourself and your shrink.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

No no...this is someone I have been seeing regularly the past 2.5 months or so.

Find a fella like Shawn T Smith and work on whatever you want to sort out. I saw the APA and I know that it's mostly man hating rubbish. I do think that it will accelerate your going super sayain and help you in this relationship as well as other areas of your life. Cheers game mate and happy holidays.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Find a fella like Shawn T Smith and work on whatever you want to sort out. I saw the APA and I know that it's mostly man hating rubbish. I do think that it will accelerate your going super sayain and help you in this relationship as well as other areas of your life. Cheers game mate and happy holidays.

So you think I should bring this up to her or not? It's making myself a little vulnerable I guess but at the same time it is giving her a little insight into me that isn't forced or reactionary.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

So you think I should bring this up to her or not? It's making myself a little vulnerable I guess but at the same time it is giving her a little insight into me that isn't forced or reactionary.

NO. NEVER. I am saying, therapy. Sort your self out. Telling her doesn't fix ****. It fuels female nature to kick off. To amplify and test. Don't. Handle your ****. If you want to chat, talk to your doctor, family and friends. Talk to DJs.

Women are ****ed. You not revealing will bring out her nurturing side more than that communication trope nonsense. Don't. Do therapy. Workout your demons. It's not a I'm sad. Your mom died. Likely not oriented to reconciliation of the past. Some feel relief after the death of a parent which sparks guilt and a domino effect of ****.

 

[Romanemp22]

It's early for you to express your emotions and problems to her because she's not your long term wife who know you to the core.

Even tho there is nothing wrong with you being down for some time especially if it's a grief of a lost parent, you shouldn't do nothing emotional around your plate.

But on the other hand if you don't give a fvck about her and don't plan to stick her around, do whatever you want. Good luck!

 

[CoandaEffect]

I would not say anything to her. No good can come of it. I guess if she notices something is off and asks you what is up then you could tell her. But I don’t think it is something you should bring up.

 

[Kotaix]

At this point I think it depends on what you want with her.

Do you like her enough to go into an LTR with her? Is she good enough for you in the long run? There does come a point where you have to decide if it's better for you both to let her go than keep her around.

Things are likely going to get more serious going forward because of what you've done, but if you try and justify your "moment of weakness" then you're going to ruin what she probably thinks was a special moment.

Only you have the context to answer your own question, but talking about it is not likely to have a net positive outcome unless she specifically asks you what's up. Women should have to pry information out of you.

 

[BMX]

 

[Barrister]

Been seeing a plate for about 2.5 months and things are progressively getting more serious...we tend to spend the night on weekends when we see each other. However, this time of year is always a little tough for me since my Mom passed away 5 years ago and I sense I may be acting a little "different" than normal. Maybe more affectionate or more...I don't want to say needy because that isn't it...more wanting of her to be in proximity. Like we went to the drive in movies last weekend and I reached over and held her hand for a good 15 or 20 minutes...and I don't want to make it seem like she didn't want to do it or anything because she interlaced her fingers and squeezed it tight.

But I just kind of feel I am treading in dangerous waters here with how I have been maybe doing a little too much.

I was thinking of just saying something like "Hey...I was talking with my friend the other day and he made a comment that I seemed a little off and he said he noticed it the last few years around this time. So I just wanted to bring this up in case you noticed anything maybe slightly different that it isn't just you..."

Or something to that effect. I'm not sure if this is a good idea to pre-emptively bring something like this up and then make it a point to ensure I don't let this become too frequent.

I wouldn't even make an issue out of it. I just wouldn't bring it up and would move forward like usual now. I don't think showing affection here and there is a big deal even with a plate. So long as it doesn't become the norm for you -- then you appear needy.

 

[Lookatu]

No. Don’t ever bring up a problem you think you may have related to yourself or your own actions. Let her bring that up. You’re perfect (you aren’t, but keep the image of everything is good) until she makes a point to say otherwise. Keep your personal problems to yourself and your shrink.

This.

You've only been going out for 2.5 mos and everything is going fine so why introduce any unnecessary static into the mix?

I would only explain myself if she started complaining or noticing something different in you that affected both of you in a negative way.

Don't make me come and kick your azz for sharing feelings unnecessarily to a girl after only 2.5mos...

 

[r4zorsharp]

Been seeing a plate for about 2.5 months and things are progressively getting more serious...we tend to spend the night on weekends when we see each other. However, this time of year is always a little tough for me since my Mom passed away 5 years ago and I sense I may be acting a little "different" than normal. Maybe more affectionate or more...I don't want to say needy because that isn't it...more wanting of her to be in proximity. Like we went to the drive in movies last weekend and I reached over and held her hand for a good 15 or 20 minutes...and I don't want to make it seem like she didn't want to do it or anything because she interlaced her fingers and squeezed it tight.

But I just kind of feel I am treading in dangerous waters here with how I have been maybe doing a little too much.

I was thinking of just saying something like "Hey...I was talking with my friend the other day and he made a comment that I seemed a little off and he said he noticed it the last few years around this time. So I just wanted to bring this up in case you noticed anything maybe slightly different that it isn't just you..."

Or something to that effect. I'm not sure if this is a good idea to pre-emptively bring something like this up and then make it a point to ensure I don't let this become too frequent.

Had to cut off my long post to say this:
Only you know what type of connection you have with this woman, and what type of woman this is. IF you don't, then don't bother saying anything and continue on, but know that 100% she will sense any neediness or shift in your attitude or behavior regardless.

Men who don't have abundance of women seem to always be afraid when it comes to things like this.. and i find that pretty funny man. Like whats the big deal? "Oh man she will use it to manipulate me!!!!" "I will be dooomeeed forever!" i dont get it man lol. You're afraid to speak your own feelings? If I were in your position and I told this to a friend, they would call me BITCHMADE!