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Is it ever a good idea to "ask" if a plate wants to continue being contacted?

BPH

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Weird question but hear me out...

I've got a few plates/ONS that I'll hit up every once in a while if I happen to be in their area/state/etc.

Some of them will leave me on read, or give me short responses, but they never FULLY ignore me when I reach out.

I'm just wondering if there's ever a good reason to be like "hey if you're not interested in hanging out let me know and I'll stop asking" or if it's better to just assume low interest and stop contacting unless contacted.
 

Divorced w 3

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I am new to this but I think your definition of a plate may be different than the one I read. If they’re not replying or taking you up on getting together, you may be getting rejected
 

BPH

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I am new to this but I think your definition of a plate may be different than the one I read. If they’re not replying or taking you up on getting together, you may be getting rejected
Not to be rude or anything, but if you're new and don't know what you're talking about why are you offering advice?
 

Divorced w 3

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Not to be rude or anything, but if you're new and don't know what you're talking about why are you offering advice?
Because I have read Rollo’s work, Richard Cooper’s work, have life experiences, and, not to be rude but nobody else was answering you
 

KingTurbo

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Weird question but hear me out...

I've got a few plates/ONS that I'll hit up every once in a while if I happen to be in their area/state/etc.

Some of them will leave me on read, or give me short responses, but they never FULLY ignore me when I reach out.

I'm just wondering if there's ever a good reason to be like "hey if you're not interested in hanging out let me know and I'll stop asking" or if it's better to just assume low interest and stop contacting unless contacted.

I wouldn't say that because it makes you look weak, you give her the power. That question gives HER the option.

If I were her, I would think the dude is insecure. If he were secure, he would go on with a IDGAF attitude.

I would just stop contacting her.
 

SW15

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Because I have read Rollo’s work, Richard Cooper’s work, have life experiences, and, not to be rude but nobody else was answering you
Richard Cooper's "The Unplugged Alpha" is a very good book. I have read "The Rational Male" too, which I found to be deep and insightful. I am working on reading its follow up "The Rational Male: The Players Handbook". You have some good foundational knowledge from Rollo and Richard Cooper.

Weird question but hear me out...

I've got a few plates/ONS that I'll hit up every once in a while if I happen to be in their area/state/etc.

Some of them will leave me on read, or give me short responses, but they never FULLY ignore me when I reach out.

I'm just wondering if there's ever a good reason to be like "hey if you're not interested in hanging out let me know and I'll stop asking" or if it's better to just assume low interest and stop contacting unless contacted.
There's really nothing different you can do here. These all are lukewarm at best plates. You'll soon grow bored of not getting vaginal access from these texting efforts and then you'll ignore.
 

Divorced w 3

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Richard Cooper's "The Unplugged Alpha" is a very good book. I have read "The Rational Male" too, which I found to be deep and insightful. I am working on reading its follow up "The Rational Male: The Players Handbook". You have some good foundational knowledge from Rollo and Richard Cooper.
I was shocked how accurate Rollo’s work was. I’m always dubious, and also just reintroducing myself to dating having been out of the game for about a decade, in a very ugly, public, trying way that I would not wish on anyone. I however was adrenaline filled, with a natural CF attitude and good empathetic skills and had a phone number from a 7 within 4 days removed from separation and figured I was off to a good start. AFC’d that but whatever.

Two weeks later, I had sex with a different tinder hookup within 45 minutes of chatting. I figured I was off to a strong start. Then was kind of quiet for 6 weeks. Bumped into an 8 on Tinder and she was the caffeinated hamster that they both are referring to. She was head over heels, willing to break every rule she had and wh*red herself out to me in 72 hours. But I got AFC on that too.

I had major ONEitis for like 4 months after that. She went from my personal wh*re to telling me that I couldn’t possibly just be friends with her and how great of a catch she was and how frustrated she couldn’t meet anyone. All of my game and my self esteem and adrenaline were in the gutter.

I had no idea what was going on until I read his book. It was like I was reading my own life. I can’t recommend it enough. Right now I am something like Humpty Dumpty trying to put the pieces of myself and my game back together but when I have natural talent, plus experience, and now skills, it’s game on.
 

SW15

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I’m always dubious, and also just reintroducing myself to dating having been out of the game for about a decade, in a very ugly, public, trying way that I would not wish on anyone.
You had a 10 year long relationship with a woman that ended in divorce. That's not bad. The fact that you had an extended relationship is an achievement. The major critique on that is that you likely stayed too long. You probably stayed about 5 years too long. Most romantic relationships have a shelf life of goodness of about 5 years, and that's with the man having a solid frame (Iron Rule of Tomassi #1). If the man's frame is weaker and more beta, the shelf life of goodness will be shorter than that 5 year number. Also, putting a ring on it probably wasn't your best decision. Most women aren't worthy of marriage today and there are too many pitfalls in 1990-present era marriage. But you know all that from reading Rollo and Richard Cooper.


Here's a quote from the author, who has some good ideas but also has some kooky ideas.

"women hate monogamy. The only time they like monogamy (a little) is when it's SERIAL monogamy, TEMPORARY monogamy. They also love getting married and having a wedding and a honeymoon. That's the fun part. But actually staying monogamous to one guy for 45 years? Uh, no. Not only do they hate that, in many ways they hate it more than men do.

Don't believe me? Fine, don't take my word for it...try the experiment yourself and see. You'll find that most women are quite honest about the fact they don't consider marriage as "permanent". Therefore, neither should you."


I had a phone number from a 7 within 4 days removed from separation and figured I was off to a good start. AFC’d that but whatever.

Two weeks later, I had sex with a different tinder hookup within 45 minutes of chatting. I figured I was off to a strong start. Then was kind of quiet for 6 weeks. Bumped into an 8 on Tinder and she was the caffeinated hamster that they both are referring to. She was head over heels, willing to break every rule she had and wh*red herself out to me in 72 hours. But I got AFC on that too.
Those 3 achievements are better than what many men achieve, especially on Tinder. Tinder is a super competitive bloodbath for most men.

I had major ONEitis for like 4 months after that. She went from my personal wh*re to telling me that I couldn’t possibly just be friends with her and how great of a catch she was and how frustrated she couldn’t meet anyone. All of my game and my self esteem and adrenaline were in the gutter.

I had no idea what was going on until I read his book. It was like I was reading my own life. I can’t recommend it enough. Right now I am something like Humpty Dumpty trying to put the pieces of myself and my game back together but when I have natural talent, plus experience, and now skills, it’s game on.
You chose well with getting some good voices like Rollo and Richard Cooper in your head, both from their books and their YouTube content.
 

Divorced w 3

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You had a 10 year long relationship with a woman that ended in divorce. That's not bad. The fact that you had an extended relationship is an achievement. The major critique on that is that you likely stayed too long. You probably stayed about 5 years too long. Most romantic relationships have a shelf life of goodness of about 5 years, and that's with the man having a solid frame (Iron Rule of Tomassi #1). If the man's frame is weaker and more beta, the shelf life of goodness will be shorter than that 5 year number. Also, putting a ring on it probably wasn't your best decision. Most women aren't worthy of marriage today and there are too many pitfalls in 1990-present era marriage. But you know all that from reading Rollo and Richard Cooper.


Here's a quote from the author, who has some good ideas but also has some kooky ideas.

"women hate monogamy. The only time they like monogamy (a little) is when it's SERIAL monogamy, TEMPORARY monogamy. They also love getting married and having a wedding and a honeymoon. That's the fun part. But actually staying monogamous to one guy for 45 years? Uh, no. Not only do they hate that, in many ways they hate it more than men do.

Don't believe me? Fine, don't take my word for it...try the experiment yourself and see. You'll find that most women are quite honest about the fact they don't consider marriage as "permanent". Therefore, neither should you."




Those 3 achievements are better than what many men achieve, especially on Tinder. Tinder is a super competitive bloodbath for most men.
Thanks - day 4 girl was IRL - met her out with my boys


You chose well with getting some good voices like Rollo and Richard Cooper in your head, both from their books and their YouTube content.
great feedback. Added something in the quote. Thanks for the thoughtful commentary.
 

Bokanovsky

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Not to be rude or anything, but if you're new and don't know what you're talking about why are you offering advice?
Despite being new, he still has 10x more common sense than you do. If b!tches ain’t responding, they ain’t your plates. You are just an orbiter, and a low level one at that (i.e. one who’s not worth more than a single word response).
 

BPH

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Despite being new, he still has 10x more common sense than you do. If b!tches ain’t responding, they ain’t your plates. You are just an orbiter, and a low level one at that (i.e. one who’s not worth more than a single word response).
Woaw easy, easy...I assumed these would be the responses I'd get, I just wasn't sure if it's better to give them an "out" as opposed to hitting them up when I'm/they are in town.

EDIT: I figured that if they ARE interested and have just been busy when I hit them up it gives them an opportunity to say that...though I guess it could be argued that them being busy and not making time is a sign of low interest anyway, so there's that.
 

Divorced w 3

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Woaw easy, easy...I assumed these would be the responses I'd get, I just wasn't sure if it's better to give them an "out" as opposed to hitting them up when I'm/they are in town.
It’s only because I’ve been there myself. I’m not inhuman, I like the idea of the chase and the feeling of external validation, like anyone else. But don’t fool yourself. Outside looking in making this a lot easier for us.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Weird question but hear me out...

I've got a few plates/ONS that I'll hit up every once in a while if I happen to be in their area/state/etc.

Some of them will leave me on read, or give me short responses, but they never FULLY ignore me when I reach out.

I'm just wondering if there's ever a good reason to be like "hey if you're not interested in hanging out let me know and I'll stop asking" or if it's better to just assume low interest and stop contacting unless contacted.
No need for anything like that. Just reach out again at a later time and see what happens. I'd assume if you try this 3 times and get no response that she no longer is interested.

IMO, you should rarely need to go to this because you should be keeping your pipeline of women filled up.
 

BPH

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No need for anything like that. Just reach out again at a later time and see what happens. I'd assume if you try this 3 times and get no response that she no longer is interested.

IMO, you should rarely need to go to this because you should be keeping your pipeline of women filled up.
I agree, they're just hot so if they were around it'd be nice. There's 2 in NY and 1 in MD that I'll hit up if I visit or if one comes homes to PA.
 

The Duke

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@BPH they either comply or it's bye! They will throw you bread crumbs just so you keep validating them. Women are notorious for being indirect communicators. When they blow you off, or show minimal interest it means NO. Time to find another one.
 
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