Is being too "normal" a bad thing?

[crackers444]

Does being a "normal guy", who doesn't do the things most guys do make girls view you as "weird" or "different". I don't go to bars, don't drink/smoke/do drugs. Girls don't seem to accept this fact about me, and I don't seem to connect with girl's because my lifestyle is different from many young people these days! Any advice would be appreciated!

 

[OrangeCrusader]

I don't seem to connect with girls

You've got it, right there.

They can't connect with you, because that simple fact puts an unexplainable gap between you two. Either go for chicks like yourself (and there are plenty), or change who you are.

As is, you're fishing with the wrong bait, or for the wrong species, depending how you wanna look at it. Unless you've got tight game and can make the fact irrelevant, she'll still see it as as big of a deal as you do.

Girls think with their feelings, so if she can't 'connect' with you on an emotional/understanding level, it's end-game.

And by the way, would you mind explaining why you don't drink/go to bars/etc.? Not to be hostile, but I ask this of most people who hold this idea, and the answers can tell a lot about them.

 

[trv26]

If you don't do what other guys do, how does that make you normal?

Edit:

Also, as Orange Crusader asked, why don't you you go to pubs? You do not necessarily need to drink alcohol in there. If nothing else this is going to give you an opportunity to socialise and meet new people, thereby broadening your social circle.

Also if(and only if) ur hangup isn't religious in nature, then perhaps you should even try alcohol in moderation. It can give you that little confidence boost.

 

[DonJuanit0]

uhm, I don't like the sea and I don't go to bars/clubs etc etc... I am way different than my friends and ppl at my age but I have no prob with girls! Most girls I have talked about it doesn't seem to see it as something weird but as something different! I can definately understand your problem of getting to the girls since you ain't going to such places like bars/clubs but there are million of non smokers girls hanging around to cafes etc! Maybe you should see it as something different and not as something weird! If you have no problem approaching then it's easy to find girls and those things you said are not a problem trust me! You are not weird at all!

 

[theunflushables]

No, be proud that you're different. Granted the no smoking, no drinking, no drugs, no bars life you live does cut down on your chances of interacting with women, but I'd assume so would living in Nova Scotia. (How is it there by the way? I've always wanted to visit.) It sounds like you might need to find some more things to do join clubs and such, I'm sure there has to be something you're into that draws women.

As for your question though, just being averagely normal is a bad thing. Think about it, if you had any amount of money to spend on a car, would you choose A. Something that everybody else drives or B. Something more exotic? It's human nature to covet things that are rare. Don't live a life a mediocracy. Why look and act like every other douchebag? Standout.

 

[WC2]

uhm, I don't like the sea and I don't go to bars/clubs etc etc... I am way different than my friends and ppl at my age but I have no prob with girls! Most girls I have talked about it doesn't seem to see it as something weird but as something different! I can definately understand your problem of getting to the girls since you ain't going to such places like bars/clubs but there are million of non smokers girls hanging around to cafes etc! Maybe you should see it as something different and not as something weird! If you have no problem approaching then it's easy to find girls and those things you said are not a problem trust me! You are not weird at all!

Trust me, everyone respects your lifestyle choices, however a lot of women will indeed see you as boring.

A guy who doesn't like to go out to places and have fun is a guy who really isn't all that much fun.

You're putting up a huge wall for women for no reason. What if a woman was to ask you to go get a drink at the club one night? "No I don't like clubs with smoke?"

Come on man.. sometimes as men we just need to man up and do things that we don't want to. No I don't necessarily want to go chill in a cafe all day, however if some broad catches my eye I'll be in there in no time.

Part of life is experiencing new things and doing things even if we don't want to. It helps us grow. If you sit in your bubble all the time, you will remain the same. And boring.

 

[DonJuanit0]

uhm, I do smoke m8! And I think no one really thinks I am boring but the opposite! I mean if you make everyone around you having fun without making you look rediculous, just cause you can, ain't boring! I would go to a club/bar if I it would be for a girl but I just wouldn't like it (I wouldn't tell her of course). I just prefer when it's up to my hand do something else! Like movies, go to the sea at night but no swimming bla bla bla! I just want to point out that you can live and have fun without going to some places you don't like! And have many girls too! I don't have any problem with girls till now cause of what I like and dislike!

 

[Hot Alpha Female]

Does being a "normal guy", who doesn't do the things most guys do make girls view you as "weird" or "different". I don't go to bars, don't drink/smoke/do drugs. Girls don't seem to accept this fact about me, and I don't seem to connect with girl's because my lifestyle is different from many young people these days! Any advice would be appreciated!

I think that if you own the fact that your not like "everybody else" that can be extremely attractive to a woman.

Maybe its not so much the lifestyle you live, but the lack of confidence that you have about it that is putting them off.

 

[Huffman]

The only reason they call your style "weird" is to test your confidence.

 

[blackfrost]

your far from normal and in a good way infact i would expect you to standout out more to females if the smoking, drinking and drugs is just so common go to bars more but i think aslong as you can connect well thats good enough you surely must have some talents or interests aswell

 

[jahidi]

Does being a "normal guy", who doesn't do the things most guys do make girls view you as "weird" or "different". I don't go to bars, don't drink/smoke/do drugs. Girls don't seem to accept this fact about me, and I don't seem to connect with girl's because my lifestyle is different from many young people these days! Any advice would be appreciated!

Are you boring? If you don't do what lots of girls find fun (partying), you're going to have to find other ways to be a fun guy. What else do you have to offer?

I know there's a member on here named LonesomeLoser who asked if girls like a guy who doesn't drink, smoke, do drugs, party, etc. He doesn't party but by the sound of it he doesn't do much of anything. He probably thinks to himself that because most of his buddies (if he has any) are out at the bars, he has no choice but to sit at home and wallow in his pity. Don't be that guy.

On the other hand, one guy in my college residence last year didn't drink or smoke or anything because of his religion. But he still came to all the parties with us and he was still lots of fun to be around. Not once did he stand against the wall at a party and decide that because he was sober he wasn't going to have a good time. Do be that guy.

Just enjoy your life. Don't let your non-drinking make you miss out on anything, other than liver disease.

 

[MisterMcGee]

For me, it's gotten to the point where I'm so 'not normal' that things I do surprise people (talking to strangers like I know them and don't care about being goofy with them, that type of stuff), that the highschool girls around me joke about me being 'creepy'.

Let this be known as the good kind of creepy. Making corny jokes and laughing at them, laughing when someone teases/negs you, being confident and surprising others with it, having a cool frame, being unpredictable, and having good eye contact all equate you into being 'creepy' to highschool girls.
It's not a bad thing. It's being 'different' and something they don't see everywhere. You stand out, and you possibly intimidate them with your frame of mind and being. These girls will neg you, make fun of you, and try to crack your shell and see if it's all just a silly act, but it's not. You are yourself. And they love it so much they'll look for a silly apply-all excuse to make it seem like they aren't below you. "Creeper"

 

[Dannyrt34]

Being normal is good and all. But most still like some excitement in their lives. Hell I know i do.