Is attraction everything to women in the beginning?

[rhcp83]

This isn't another "hot guys get all the girls" thread.

I've just noticed in my own dealings, that when a woman is interested in me, online or real life, that she will make it really obvious. I still have to be the man and follow her lead/read her signals...but she will make it fairly easy to read her and get in touch with her again. She will also overlook small details.

For example, I was on a pof date a couple weeks ago, my first date in over a year and I was really rusty and nervous. I can only imagine how I looked. We still talked for 90 minutes, she did not seem to be judging me at all, and mentioned on her own meeting up again. And no she wasn't fat or ugly.

The two girls I've dated, yeah we hit it off personality wise, but they also mentioned "you're cute/you're handsome" a lot, and didn't even care that at the time I didn't have a car and didn't mind picking me up on our dates (and no I wasn't taking them anywhere fancy, just coffee/panera type places or action dates or hanging out at their house or my house.)

Sure, later on you can screw it up if you do AFC things or things that are just beyond bad...but my point is, that if a girl is interested in you, it's usually due to the fact that she finds you physically attractive and will also overlook things within reason.

That makes me ask, if a girl isn't immediately physically attracted to you, is there anything you can do, or is this just all predetermined? You hear girls use buzz words like "creepy" to describe random men, but to me that just means "I find him physically unattractive." She doesn't like the guys look, is turned off by it, and is projecting every other woman to feel the same way.

Every girl I've been rejected by whether in person in a cold approach, in person in general, or online, they clearly weren't physically attracted to me and if anything were grossed out by me despite the fact that I'm not ugly.

Another example...I have a friend that weighs 300 and has an ugly face...and he was on a church retreat sitting next to a hot girl (he says anyway) that said "I'm cold." He puts his arm around her and she immediately takes it off. Now this isn't a good move anyway and knowing him he was probably extra awkward about it...but if Brad Pitt or a guy she had a crush on did the same thing, would she have reacted the same way?

The reason I'm asking all of this stuff is because I'm interested in having casual sex at the moment, and am wondering if it's even possible in my situation, or if the girl has to "find me cute/like me" and just do it the old fashioned way. I'm wondering if I upped my game and improved on the small details when it comes to talking to women for the first time, if it would make a difference, or if the woman has pretty much decided from the beginning before you open your mouth if she ever wants to associate with you/date you/sleep with you.

Btw I have another thread in mature forum and have several pics of myself on there.

 

[Mike32ct]

Attraction is king, don't let anyone tell you different.

Most of it is pre-decided before you open your mouth. Proper game is more about not F-ing things up and increasing the attraction that is already there.

That said, it's not all looks that create that critical first impression. Your body language and overall vibe matter too.

 

[rhcp83]

hey mike clear your inbox i have a message to send you.

 

[Aaron B]

the issue I see is that you are imposing your male thinking onto the women you attract

yes, for men attraction to women is primarily physical. its probably 85% or more of our total attraction to her

so when you think of a woman being attracted to you as a man, you are assuming incorrectly that her attraction is primarily physical (your looks)

for women, their attraction to a particular man is based on many things other than his looks.

being physically attractive is obviously better than not. but don't ever confuse her attraction as being primarily to your looks - it's not

its that you look good, AND you stand out from the crowd of guys seeking access to her vagina

its that you look good, AND you are challenging and unpredictable in your interactions with her

its that you look good, AND you express your male sexuality easily in her presence

etc.

 

[AlexDP]

You got it wrong. Attraction is everything to me in the beginning. I'm not interested in girls I'm not attracted to.

 

[rhcp83]

Well the thing is, I'm very nerdy (not to put myself down at all...I like it minus the random nervous streaks) and also very blunt...just say what exactly is on my mind (within reason)...so maybe the appeal when a girl likes me is that she thinks I'm physically cute but also finds the genuineness (the nervousness and random conversation) refreshing.

But the point I'm making is, if a girl doesn't find you at all physically attractive (especially if you're a nerdy type guy) she likely isn't going to give you a chance at all.

And what I was wondering is if I have to rely on meeting women that fall for my looks/the genuine stuff, or if I can seek out short term flings with women who might not be good for me long term but can attract them short term or adapt to what they like to get the sex.

 

[DonJuanabe]

While primarily physical, it isn't entirely physical. I remember a class I was in during college, about 40 people, and we had to give presentations. One guy -- kinda dweeby, not ugly but not good looking -- gave his presentation and I remember every girl in the class looking at him with lust. His voice was strong, confident, and controlled; his meter was controlled and decisive; he had total command of the audience and it appeared to me that the girls were mesmerized. This 20 year old college boy wasn't like the other 20 year old college boys -- this guy was the MAN.

 

[nismo-4]

Attraction is king, don't let anyone tell you different.

Most of it is pre-decided before you open your mouth. Proper game is more about not F-ing things up and increasing the attraction that is already there.

That said, it's not all looks that create that critical first impression. Your body language and overall vibe matter too.

To quote Rollo, Your bulletproof game and charming personality won't make you look any better when your shirt comes off.

It doesn't make you look any better with it on either.

 

[backbreaker]

I have tried gaming women when I was 5'8, 210-220 pounds and out of shape

I have tried gaming women when I was 5'8, 170ish pounds and cut up



the latter is much easier. much, much, easier.


You know why I don't get these threads, because its' not hard for a guy to look "hot". at all. whatsoever. we have it so much easier than women do in this regard. any man unless you are just the reincarnation of baraka or something is going to look pretty damn good if he's in shape and can half dress himself.

for a woman, a woman can have a banging body and have a big nose, and instead of a 8.5 she's a 7. or have a nice face but have a flat chest and she's a 7. a guy gets in shape, gets a strong jaw line, no baby fat, women will find you attractive

so stop posting about stupid hypotheticals and get your ass in the gym.\

It's not that women don't care for looks, i assure you they do, but what they look for as far as attractive is not what we look for. Women find masculinity attractive. Men spend all their time crying they don't have certain feministic traits. who he fvck cares if you don't have pretty eyes lol. I've had a unibrow my entire life and have never had an issue with it. hell y wife think's it's cute. a fvcking unibrow. I mean it's not a thick one they defiantly connect. I don't even bother getting them waxed anymore, I dont' give a ****.

the things that women find "attractive".. strong jaw lines, muscles or men who are in shape, good skin, well groomed, are all things that 99% you can control

 

[floydb25]

Yes, but you can still mess it up. Not sure why you are asking if you already know the answer - based on first-hand experience. Sex is easy with girls that are into you.

Edit: didn't mean to put face on there.

 

[rhcp83]

I have tried gaming women when I was 5'8, 210-220 pounds and out of shape

I have tried gaming women when I was 5'8, 170ish pounds and cut up



the latter is much easier. much, much, easier.


You know why I don't get these threads, because its' not hard for a guy to look "hot". at all. whatsoever. we have it so much easier than women do in this regard. any man unless you are just the reincarnation of baraka or something is going to look pretty damn good if he's in shape and can half dress himself.

for a woman, a woman can have a banging body and have a big nose, and instead of a 8.5 she's a 7. or have a nice face but have a flat chest and she's a 7. a guy gets in shape, gets a strong jaw line, no baby fat, women will find you attractive

so stop posting about stupid hypotheticals and get your ass in the gym.\

It's not that women don't care for looks, i assure you they do, but what they look for as far as attractive is not what we look for. Women find masculinity attractive. Men spend all their time crying they don't have certain feministic traits. who he fvck cares if you don't have pretty eyes lol. I've had a unibrow my entire life and have never had an issue with it. hell y wife think's it's cute. a fvcking unibrow. I mean it's not a thick one they defiantly connect. I don't even bother getting them waxed anymore, I dont' give a ****.

the things that women find "attractive".. strong jaw lines, muscles or men who are in shape, good skin, well groomed, are all things that 99% you can control

I disagree. I could spend my life at the gym (I have worked out and started working out again for myself, not for women) and wouldn't have that masculine look that women love. I'm good looking, but don't have the type of looks to consistently attract women. Sure I can attract women, even women that are my type, but that's after hearing hundreds of "nos."

But it doesn't matter anyway, because the fact is, I'm not ugly and there are women out there that aren't ugly and find me attractive, just a matter of finding them. Some guys are just beaten with the ugly stick and stand no chance (like my 300 lb friend with the butt ugly face.)

The thing is, even he could technically get a girlfriend. If he worked his butt off and lost 50 pounds and had better common sense socially, he could have that teddy bear look women like.

My point is just that looks DO matter but while they do matter beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And I was wondering if you can get a girl who is indifferent to your looks if everything else is there? I guess that was my question.

And anyone who works out for women's sake is supplicating to the nth degree. Nothing wrong with wanting a good body...but do it for the right reasons.

Also I disagree about women not having it easy. A woman can be a 3 on the 10 scale and have a 6 plus boyfriend because he's just desperate, has bad taste, or wants pvssy that badly.

Also while men care about looks, just look at this site, no two men agree on what's "really hot." All these oneitis cases on here are likely just 6/7s that they think are 10s.

To be physically attractive to a majority of women, you have to have that masculine looking face/aura that you're born with. You can work out, have muscles all you want, and while they don't hurt, they aren't going to matter if you don't have the alpha looking face.

But that wasn't the point of this thread. I was just wondering if a girl can just find you average and without the uber masculine meathead vibe and still bang her.

 

[bigneil]

I think there has to be strong, animal attraction early on, otherwise you won't be able to endure her down phase and rely on her to come back.

Remember: a woman's moods follow a sinusoidal pattern. You almost have to meet them at their ideal phase or you won't maximize the attraction. Then she'll meet your equivalent or a lesser man but like him more since she was in a different mood at the time.

And when they flake, the best option is often to simply wait until they return to the origin.

 

[runner83]

Attraction is king, don't let anyone tell you different.

Most of it is pre-decided before you open your mouth. Proper game is more about not F-ing things up and increasing the attraction that is already there.

That said, it's not all looks that create that critical first impression. Your body language and overall vibe matter too.

Money quote, although looks are still important.

Practically every time I've gotten laid, I've hardly said anything beyond the basics and just teased them.

And yes, attraction is pretty much everything in the beginning. If she is into you, then it's bloody easy.

Whereas if she isn't, you are better off just moving onto the next one. The number of times I've seen mates and other guys keep persisting with a girl who isn't interested.

If she isn't attracted to you, why the fvck waste any more time with her when there are 10 more just like her who may be interested around the corner?

 

[marmel75]

I have tried gaming women when I was 5'8, 210-220 pounds and out of shape

I have tried gaming women when I was 5'8, 170ish pounds and cut up



the latter is much easier. much, much, easier.


You know why I don't get these threads, because its' not hard for a guy to look "hot". at all. whatsoever. we have it so much easier than women do in this regard. any man unless you are just the reincarnation of baraka or something is going to look pretty damn good if he's in shape and can half dress himself.

for a woman, a woman can have a banging body and have a big nose, and instead of a 8.5 she's a 7. or have a nice face but have a flat chest and she's a 7. a guy gets in shape, gets a strong jaw line, no baby fat, women will find you attractive

so stop posting about stupid hypotheticals and get your ass in the gym.\

It's not that women don't care for looks, i assure you they do, but what they look for as far as attractive is not what we look for. Women find masculinity attractive. Men spend all their time crying they don't have certain feministic traits. who he fvck cares if you don't have pretty eyes lol. I've had a unibrow my entire life and have never had an issue with it. hell y wife think's it's cute. a fvcking unibrow. I mean it's not a thick one they defiantly connect. I don't even bother getting them waxed anymore, I dont' give a ****.

the things that women find "attractive".. strong jaw lines, muscles or men who are in shape, good skin, well groomed, are all things that 99% you can control

I have to totally agree on this. I am a gym rat, and went from being 5' 8" 243 lbs with 31% body fat to 5' 8" 205 lbs with 14% body fat and the difference has been remarkable. I get hit on a lot and when I go out, especially to bars, I usually get hit on in the first 5 minutes of being in the place. That kind of stuff NEVER happened before. I see girls giving me vertical scans a lot and smiling at me when that never happend before. I definitely get noticed in a positive way when I go out because I am bursting out of my shirts(my chest/shoulders/delts/lats and traps are huge---arms are big at 17" but not huge), and it honestly has made me feel extremely confident in myself...more confident than anything else ever has. I walk taller, move slower, take up as much space as I want and force other people to move around me. I look straight ahead, neve down, never around, because I am fairly confident that noone in their right mind is going to try me. I get told quite a bit by people that if they saw me walking towards them in a dark alley they would start running the other way. At work 3 coworkers have given me their own nicknames: Big Turk, Big Diesel and Diebold.

I KNOW I look good and I KNOW they are looking at me in a sexual way, and being in shape and having those hormones racing through your system does things for you sexually that you could only dream of in a pill. The same hormones that are responsible for you having and maintaining muscle mass are the same hormones responsible for your sexual performance. You can go forever, as hard as you want, you are ready to go like 2 minutes after blasting a load and your loads become porn star quality...girls are like OMG that is a lot of c*m....also a lot of girls really get turned on when you are pounding them missionary style and they are holding onto your arms that are bursting out and say things "OMG your arms are so muscular!" or "I can barely hold onto your arms, they are too big!"

I totally agree that the best thing anyone could ever do for themselves to get noticed is hitting the gym...it is like having an advertising sign up for you 24/7 without you having to do any work...

 

[Zarky]

Every woman is different. Some let you know they're interested, some don't. However, I only go out with the ones who do, since it's difficult to tell between girls who are interested but shy and girls who simply aren't interested.

Basically if I have to wonder if she's interested, I don't bother. Usually a waste of time.

 

[Mike32ct]

Money quote, although looks are still important.

Practically every time I've gotten laid, I've hardly said anything beyond the basics and just teased them.

And yes, attraction is pretty much everything in the beginning. If she is into you, then it's bloody easy.

Whereas if she isn't, you are better off just moving onto the next one. The number of times I've seen mates and other guys keep persisting with a girl who isn't interested.

If she isn't attracted to you, why the fvck waste any more time with her when there are 10 more just like her who may be interested around the corner?

Fully agree.

 

[nismo-4]

Money quote, although looks are still important.

Practically every time I've gotten laid, I've hardly said anything beyond the basics and just teased them.

And yes, attraction is pretty much everything in the beginning. If she is into you, then it's bloody easy.

Whereas if she isn't, you are better off just moving onto the next one. The number of times I've seen mates and other guys keep persisting with a girl who isn't interested.

If she isn't attracted to you, why the fvck waste any more time with her when there are 10 more just like her who may be interested around the corner?

This is a great addition to my courtroom files! Love it runner!

 

[bigneil]

There is more to runner83's point.

Hanging around a woman who is not interested is the single worst thing for your self esteem possible. Once people build up a resistance to your sales pitch, they will form an impenetrable barrier, so you enter an impossible situation.

The #1 thing we seek isn't sex, it's women who love having sex with us.

As Carlox Xuma notes: "It's approximately 10 times easier to find a new girl than to resurrect the old one."

 

[floydb25]

Bignell: Not just women - people who don't like you in general. You are not going to get them to change their minds about you - if they're against you from the start. They're going to keep avoiding you, putting you down, etc. Pining after and seeking their approval is highly destructive, and completely unnecessary. Some people love to keep around those they don't like to feel superior over them / dump their insecurities onto - especially if they don't stand up for themselves. They want to see them fail.

This is why its so important to pay attention to how they treat those they're not into. This is how they're going to treat you once their interest in you is lost.

 

[Mike32ct]

Great point Floyd. It's not just about women you want to date or F, but the destructive effects (in your self-esteem) trying to be accepted by anyone who doesn't value you. I listed some examples.

1. Maybe there is chick you don't want to F, but she's really cool and has hot friends. She still doesn't want to know you. Let her go.

2. Maybe there's some cool, fun, really connected guy that you really want to be friends with, but he never wants to hang out. Let him go.

3. Maybe you're a great worker, but for some reason, the boss is stil cold and "all business" with you. You aren't his favorite. Accept it or find a new job.

So while it's not about attraction in these cases, it's about whether they like and value you. But the principle is the same.