Is asking for help from guy friends too risky?

[socjim86]

Here is my situation. There are a couple cool guy friends I have across the hall in my apartment. One of them for some odd reason just gets boatloads of women. I think he is actually gay for me (you can tell he is if you have a gaydar) but is also at least somewhat interested in women. He gets them ALL THE TIME. The other friend is a tall, dark, slender guy from Serbia with the accent all the girls love. Doesn't get laid all the time because he has no game, but has gotten more than me. Hell probably everyone has gotten more than me, that's why Im on this site.

Here's my question. I am frustrated, failing, and in need of a re-vamp with my game with women. I refuse to accept this single, sexless sad state of affairs. The two of them are good with women and friendly guys in general. In fact, they seem like they would be good wing men or guys to go to for advice. I am guessing that it won't be long before they figure out that I am a loser with no success with women whatsoever, so my status will be pretty low with them already (not saying I particularly care that much about how much respect they have for me, but remember the way you carry yourself with friends probably finds it way to women one way or another).
Should I just spill the beans and admit to them that I absolutely suck with women and that I need help? Should I ask the (questionably straight) guy with all the luck of the Irish what he does to pull so much damn poon? Or is this too much of a status risk? Will this automatically label me as the weakest member of the crew and serve as a self-fulfilling prophecy?

 

[joverby]

Why are you thinking so much? Why would a gay guy be getting laid by chicks all the time? That doesn't really make sense to me. You may want to tweak your gaydar, but that really shouldn't matter anyway.

Mostly, why are you such a chicken to talk to these guys and try to make friends. I really hope your a troll dude.

What status risk are you talking about? This sh1t is all in your head. I'm confused, are you trying to get with these guys or with some females? Because the guys surely won't give a sh1t if you ask them for help / advice.

Just be a normal person and talk to them and ask to go out with them to pick up some ladies.

 

[socjim86]

Joverboy doesn't understand my post.

if I admit that I suck and things aren't working, my group will see me as the weakest. My that logic, it is embedded into the group dynamic that I am an AFC. Hanv't you heard of the law of labeling? Criminals are labeled as criminals, and will no matter what will always been seen in that way by society. It's the same concept. i am just wondering if I should just act as if I am good with women or have high standards, or if I would look like an idiot by doing that and if they would see right through me. I thought I explained all this already....

 

[joverby]

Joverboy doesn't understand my post.

if I admit that I suck and things aren't working, my group will see me as the weakest. My that logic, it is embedded into the group dynamic that I am an AFC. Hanv't you heard of the law of labeling? Criminals are labeled as criminals, and will no matter what will always been seen in that way by society. It's the same concept. i am just wondering if I should just act as if I am good with women or have high standards, or if I would look like an idiot by doing that and if they would see right through me. I thought I explained all this already....

Of course. I should've known better then to call you out on being an over analytical women about it. I should've known you just wanted someone to agree with you, nod their head and say "Yes, you're right. You really need to put on a show for these guys you don't even know. You need to really try to impress them or.....err."

Well logic dictates that nothing bad can come of being a normal person and asking for help. FROM GUYS. Why are you trying to impress these dudes? Who are you trying to get with?

Smells of troll still.

 

[luckster]

Joverboy doesn't understand my post.

if I admit that I suck and things aren't working, my group will see me as the weakest. My that logic, it is embedded into the group dynamic that I am an AFC. Hanv't you heard of the law of labeling? Criminals are labeled as criminals, and will no matter what will always been seen in that way by society. It's the same concept. i am just wondering if I should just act as if I am good with women or have high standards, or if I would look like an idiot by doing that and if they would see right through me. I thought I explained all this already....

These are dudes. These are your friends. These are the last people you should need to maintain a facade with. If they label you as AFC and begin to ignore you, they weren't your friends to begin with. You should be able to talk to them. Just don't have a desperate tone. Be genuine and fun in your inquiry. This is part of being humble.

If you don't know these guys so well, one approach to getting closer is to plan a night out to a club, party, bar, whatever, and invite them to come with you. Or ask them what they're doing and see if you can go out with them. Again, don't sound desperate. Be confident. Observe, listen, learn, talk, be friendly.

You know your weaknesses and you are trying to strengthen them. Why would you want to be friends with people that would outcast you like that? Just because they're good with women? Get over that ****.

 

[movistar]

If a friend of mine asked me to give him tips to pick up women, I would be flattered not see him as AFC. People love to give advice, and you would be praising them to some degree this is something people will like, not shun you for doing. Imagine a friend coming up to you and saying "Hey, I notice you are really good at picking up women, how do you do it?" how would you feel?

Stop thinking about your status with these other dudes, they shouldn't matter. Just try to be outgoing and work on YOU to be the best YOU! Everything will fall into place.

 

[Mike32ct]

I'm going to disagree with the others here. I don't think it will help you to try to get advice from those guys. I'm not so worried about the status thing, although that is a valid concern.

So called "naturals" really CAN'T teach their game to you, even if they wanted to. Most don't even know WHY they get girls, and even if they did, it's doubtful that you could sucessfully copy them and score. In most cases, they are blessed with looks, height, and/or have natural confidence steming back from positive feedback from girls at a young age.

You need to find your own method. Feel free to get some advice here. Most of us are "un-naturals" who had to work to get success with women, so we have a better (conscious) grasp on how it's done than the pretty boy that got laid at age 12 and has had effortless snowballing success since then.

 

[YAboi]

I'm going to disagree with the others here. I don't think it will help you to try to get advice from those guys. I'm not so worried about the status thing, although that is a valid concern.

So called "naturals" really CAN'T teach their game to you, even if they wanted to. Most don't even know WHY they get girls, and even if they did, it's doubtful that you could sucessfully copy them and score. In most cases, they are blessed with looks, height, and/or have natural confidence steming back from positive feedback from girls at a young age.

You need to find your own method. Feel free to get some advice here. Most of us are "un-naturals" who had to work to get success with women, so we have a better (conscious) grasp on how it's done than the pretty boy that got laid at age 12 and has had effortless snowballing success since then.

I kind of disagree with you disagreeing lol. There is no hurt in getting some advice in the REAL WORLD and its much better than being stuck on the internet because in the real world you are physically interacting with the guys and thus unknowingly sharpening your social skills. It all depends on their personalities, if they seem too rude,arrogant and brash and like they will give u sh1t for the rest of your stay with them if you ask then theres no point asking but if they are open and friendly then go for it. Just ask them questions about scenarios when it comes to babes and ask them what they would do and watch them and learn and also apply what you learn. Simples

 

[Mike32ct]

We can agree to disagree . It's all good.

To the OP, you are welcome to try get advice from those guys. I'm just saying not to expect too much. It's just REALLY hard for them to convey their "game" to you. You might get a few tips here and there, or possibly, you might unconsciously pick up some things over time. But I would argue that it's not very effective or efficient.

One of the best naturals I've never known told me to "Just be myself." He's right. He is naturally the type of guy that women want. But that didn't do much for me.

I kind of disagree with you disagreeing lol. There is no hurt in getting some advice in the REAL WORLD and its much better than being stuck on the internet because in the real world you are physically interacting with the guys and thus unknowingly sharpening your social skills. It all depends on their personalities, if they seem too rude,arrogant and brash and like they will give u sh1t for the rest of your stay with them if you ask then theres no point asking but if they are open and friendly then go for it. Just ask them questions about scenarios when it comes to babes and ask them what they would do and watch them and learn and also apply what you learn. Simples

 

[Scars]

It'd probably stroke their egos immensely for you to ask for help. I'm sure if you genuinely asked them for guidance one of them would be more than happy to take you under their wing. Sometimes I wish an AFC friend would do this at times, but I can tell even when I drop even the basic of gems on them they never want to listen anyway. So try not to do that, or they may just get frustrated with you.

-Scars

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Don't you think being here is a form of asking for help? Are we calling you pvssies? Does a pvssy look for a solution to their problem, or keep griping? Clearly you are looking for a solution...ask them for help man maybe you can chill with em and they'll introduce you to some ladies...or their ladies' friends...you'll have instant cred...

You know how the best musicians hang around other musicians? Or any profession? Nothing wrong with learning from those who seem to be skillful...

Your problem is essentially like a fat person saying, "I want to lose weight but am afraid to ask others who have already lost weight, because I don't want them to label me as Fat"....dude, they will want to help you reach the same place they have...maybe they were even once there themselves.

 

[Aaron B]

every gay dude I've ever known has been popular with women and socialized with women extensively

you don't need to have logical conversations with these guys about what they do to get women. they may not even be that consciously aware of what they do that attracts women. Plus, you have plenty of access to logical information via in the internet

you need to use these guys to gain information you can't get here:

you need to closely observe their interactions with women using your powers of observation and discover what is to be learned from them through personal experience, not through logical conversations

through this process you may discover that your powers of observation are weak and need to be worked on and improved

think about it this way: unless they started out AFC and learned how to get women, they probably can't relate to your situation and probably are not equipped to explain anything helpful to you. I bet the first words out of their mouths will be "just be youself" and "be confident"

you hear so much when it comes to women about "forget what they say, watch what they do." I'd argue the same applies here. First-hand observation is a great way to learn. Close observation requires vigilance. You can't be lazy.

 

[zekko]

Maybe instead of asking for advice you could just befriend these guys.
That way you can observe them like Aaron B says. And if they always have girls around maybe you can see if you can get one of their friends. Or you can go with them when they "sarge" and get in on the action.

If that's a no go, then maybe you could ask for advice. But it sounds like the one guy gets girls with his feminine style, I'm not sure you want to go that route lol.