Hi all.
I've read the sosauve website a few times in the past year, just getting some tips. I never really thought about joining a forum but decided to today.
First, I'm going to tell y'all a little about myself and my situation, but I want to ask y'all to not be judgemental and flame me. I'll admit that I feel pretty pathetic. I ask that you guys as fellow men respect that this is a tough time for me.
I divorced a couple of years ago, I'm 35 and I have a son who I do the right thing by if you get my drift. I work full time and have a very good but not "spectacular" job. I work in an oil refinery in a lab and make $65000+ a year. Of course the ex b1tch gets $750 a month in child support which is paying for her boob job.
Anyway, I spent a year totally swearing off women. I knew eventually I'd have a change of heart, but I just wallowed in my misery. I didn't want the divorce but she cheated and left me for the other guy. My mistake was not being as attentive both sexually and emotionally to her. That's a long story that we might discuss another time.
So, about a year ago I decided to start testing the waters of dating. I didn't have a clue where to start. I don't like bars so much because I'VE ALWAYS FOUND MEN HAVE TO HUNT IN PACKS. I don't know any single men my age to hang out with, and honestly making new male friends can be as daunting as meeting women. So I attempted going it alone with zero results. I also feel bad about having drinks and driving when I'm a responsible parent.
Anyway, I got frustrated, but I also decided to start working on myself. I joined the gym. At the time of my divorce, I was hefty, 5'8" and 235 lbs. Not particularly muscular and small framed. I was too fat and knew it. By coincidence, my son was diagnosed juvenile diabetic (not related to his weight or diet), and I was forced to change my eating habits.
Anyway, I'm now down to 160 lbs and much leaner and am adding muscle allbeit slowly.
Along the way, I've been trying to meet women. At one point I signed up for dance lessons. Just didn't seem to be any attractive single women, lots of women with partners and a few women taking lessons together as friends (suspected dykes)...I got frustrated and abandoned that but have thought about trying it again. I've tried internet dating and even got a lay and a ******* out of it, but the women freaked when I started acting like I liked her. I've been going to a classy nightclub/restaurant that has live bands and attractive girls. The other day I was with a women my age, attractive and petite, who was alone and talked and danced (erotically) and I gave her my number but never heard a word. I know, I should have asked for hers, but I'm so effing tired of women who give me their number only to never answer or play games.
I bought a motorcycle a few months back to give me something else in my life to add excitement and also to be seen as a little more exciting. Eh, it's helped a little I guess but I'm still really waiting for the dividends.
I did finally befriend another dude at that same bar a few weeks ago. Real cool average Joe with a good sense of humor and cleancut. Someone who wouldn't repulse women. We hit it off and wound up at a tittybar. The next weekend we met at the club and left to catch up with some girls, but he got a damn DUI on the way. He wasn't really even drunk or else I would have driven. Just enough to make him scared to blow. its a damn shame. He's kind of trigger shy now about going out and I don't blame him.
OK, thats a rundown of my recent dating experiences. I have a lot of opinions and questions too. I'd like to hear if I'm not alone in this trap. Maybe we can have a discussion. Hell, if someone here is from the Baton Rouge, LA area, maybe I might meet another wing-man LOL!
Here is one problem I face. I didn't grow up here and my family is three states away. I just don't have a large social network and it is very difficult to establish one. My coworkers are generally older, married, or divorced and decidedly opposed to remarriage or "partying". Not many know any women my age to "set me up".
Another problem is my youthful appearance. I'm 35 but often people think I look 21. That isn't an absolutely bad thing, but I really need to add some more muscle to increase my natural masculinity. I have trouble putting on muscle, so I recently bought some estrogen blocker and testosterone enhancer. I hope it isn't a gimmick. Anyway, I find that women are just as shallow as men and are looking at the outside package. The most attractive women are looking at arms and chest muscles. I'm below average in height and have a small frame. Every extra I can add to bulk up in the right places will help.
OK that about sums up me and my dating life. I'll add some more issues if I get replies. Where do you guys meet new women? Is it really feasable to walk up to a strange woman at Wal-mart in the produce section and strike up a conversation? I've sorta tried striking up those impromptu conversations before, only to have women act very uncomfortable, as if a freak is about to rape them or something.
It really is a bummer that this world is not set up more to allow unattached people the ability to mingle in non-alcohaulic settings and get to know one another. Approaching starngers just always seems so akward and useless.
Help! LOL
I've read the sosauve website a few times in the past year, just getting some tips. I never really thought about joining a forum but decided to today.
First, I'm going to tell y'all a little about myself and my situation, but I want to ask y'all to not be judgemental and flame me. I'll admit that I feel pretty pathetic. I ask that you guys as fellow men respect that this is a tough time for me.
I divorced a couple of years ago, I'm 35 and I have a son who I do the right thing by if you get my drift. I work full time and have a very good but not "spectacular" job. I work in an oil refinery in a lab and make $65000+ a year. Of course the ex b1tch gets $750 a month in child support which is paying for her boob job.
Anyway, I spent a year totally swearing off women. I knew eventually I'd have a change of heart, but I just wallowed in my misery. I didn't want the divorce but she cheated and left me for the other guy. My mistake was not being as attentive both sexually and emotionally to her. That's a long story that we might discuss another time.
So, about a year ago I decided to start testing the waters of dating. I didn't have a clue where to start. I don't like bars so much because I'VE ALWAYS FOUND MEN HAVE TO HUNT IN PACKS. I don't know any single men my age to hang out with, and honestly making new male friends can be as daunting as meeting women. So I attempted going it alone with zero results. I also feel bad about having drinks and driving when I'm a responsible parent.
Anyway, I got frustrated, but I also decided to start working on myself. I joined the gym. At the time of my divorce, I was hefty, 5'8" and 235 lbs. Not particularly muscular and small framed. I was too fat and knew it. By coincidence, my son was diagnosed juvenile diabetic (not related to his weight or diet), and I was forced to change my eating habits.
Anyway, I'm now down to 160 lbs and much leaner and am adding muscle allbeit slowly.
Along the way, I've been trying to meet women. At one point I signed up for dance lessons. Just didn't seem to be any attractive single women, lots of women with partners and a few women taking lessons together as friends (suspected dykes)...I got frustrated and abandoned that but have thought about trying it again. I've tried internet dating and even got a lay and a ******* out of it, but the women freaked when I started acting like I liked her. I've been going to a classy nightclub/restaurant that has live bands and attractive girls. The other day I was with a women my age, attractive and petite, who was alone and talked and danced (erotically) and I gave her my number but never heard a word. I know, I should have asked for hers, but I'm so effing tired of women who give me their number only to never answer or play games.
I bought a motorcycle a few months back to give me something else in my life to add excitement and also to be seen as a little more exciting. Eh, it's helped a little I guess but I'm still really waiting for the dividends.
I did finally befriend another dude at that same bar a few weeks ago. Real cool average Joe with a good sense of humor and cleancut. Someone who wouldn't repulse women. We hit it off and wound up at a tittybar. The next weekend we met at the club and left to catch up with some girls, but he got a damn DUI on the way. He wasn't really even drunk or else I would have driven. Just enough to make him scared to blow. its a damn shame. He's kind of trigger shy now about going out and I don't blame him.
OK, thats a rundown of my recent dating experiences. I have a lot of opinions and questions too. I'd like to hear if I'm not alone in this trap. Maybe we can have a discussion. Hell, if someone here is from the Baton Rouge, LA area, maybe I might meet another wing-man LOL!
Here is one problem I face. I didn't grow up here and my family is three states away. I just don't have a large social network and it is very difficult to establish one. My coworkers are generally older, married, or divorced and decidedly opposed to remarriage or "partying". Not many know any women my age to "set me up".
Another problem is my youthful appearance. I'm 35 but often people think I look 21. That isn't an absolutely bad thing, but I really need to add some more muscle to increase my natural masculinity. I have trouble putting on muscle, so I recently bought some estrogen blocker and testosterone enhancer. I hope it isn't a gimmick. Anyway, I find that women are just as shallow as men and are looking at the outside package. The most attractive women are looking at arms and chest muscles. I'm below average in height and have a small frame. Every extra I can add to bulk up in the right places will help.
OK that about sums up me and my dating life. I'll add some more issues if I get replies. Where do you guys meet new women? Is it really feasable to walk up to a strange woman at Wal-mart in the produce section and strike up a conversation? I've sorta tried striking up those impromptu conversations before, only to have women act very uncomfortable, as if a freak is about to rape them or something.
It really is a bummer that this world is not set up more to allow unattached people the ability to mingle in non-alcohaulic settings and get to know one another. Approaching starngers just always seems so akward and useless.
Help! LOL