Alright, as promised in the other thread, here are my best tips to go from approaching to the bedroom in three hours or less. This tips are specifically designed for college parties, although they can certainly be helpful in other situations as well.
Without any further ado...
Get Homefield Advantage!
If you follow any sports, you know how helpful it can be to be playing in one's home territory. The same applies to partying. Go to parties where you know a good amount of people. This is one of the HUGE advantages to being in a fraternity. If you're not in one, get to know people who host parties, or host them yourself. Being around people you know will help your social proof, status, and confidence. This is very important for the next step, which is...
Go for the Smooth Into!
Anytime you see a group which has at least one person you already know, and at least one HB who you don't, go for the intro! Jump right into the group to greet your friend, and immediately introduce yourself to everyone else in the group. Very, very easy way to get the approach out of the way.
If That Doesn't Work...
There are plenty of other easy ways to approach, especially if you have Homefield Advantage. Simply approach a HB/group and try the following:
You: "So how are you ladies enjoying the party so far?"
Them: "It's great, blah blah blah"
You: "Yeah, I'm in this fraternity" OR "Yeah, do you know [host of party]? He's a good friend of mine"
Now obviously you can't use that 2nd line if it's not true, but it immediately gives you social proof/status. Another method I like is to ask a girl to be your partner for beirut/beer pong/any other drinking game. What better way to bond then over a game that's designed to get you drunk?
Learn to Recognize IOIs!
I cannot emphasize this enough. This is what makes the difference between ending up in bed or ending up frusterated with a (possibly fake) number. If you fail to detect any interest within the first five minutes, or at any point afterwards, then forget it! Tone of voice, eye contact, kino, body language...be watching these things AT ALL TIMES.
What's Your Name?
This is the first 10-15 minutes of interaction with the girl. You're just getting the basics at this point - residence, hometown, major, year, interests, etc. Dig into each of these subjects as much as possible. Don't just tell her where you're from; tell her ABOUT where you're from. Be funny! You're just trying to make a solid first impression and give her a taste of your personality. I usually DON'T start with the kino yet - if you use it too early, it can scare the girl away. A light touch on the arm is usually the farthest I'll go. If you're seeing signs of interest, we move on to...
You Know What I Really Love?
This is the most essential part of the interaction, and usually occurs in the 1-2 hours after the initial intro. Your goal here is to convey your personality and encourage the girl to do the same. This sounds ridiculously obvious, but I've found the most effective subjects to talk about are:
1. Her biggest interests!
2. Your biggest interests!
I realize this is no great revelation, but you need to take it to it's fullest extent. I highly recommend you have at least one topic that you are an expert on - something you can talk about more or less indefinitely. Of course, this must be something the girl will enjoy talking about as well (sorry, videogames or football won't work here). For me, it's indie music. Girls are AMAZED by how much I know about music, and they realize how much I enjoy talking about it. Now since you don't want to monopolize the conversation, make sure she tells you about what SHE is most interested too. Again, this might seem like pretty obvious advice, but the key is to REALLY DIVE in here - if you run out of stuff to talk about after 20 minutes, you're doing something wrong!
This is also where you should begin to semi-isolate and try some extensive kino. Don't rush her off to your room just yet, but find a more secluded area of the party. Go outside or in a smaller room with a few people hanging out. You want to keep her comfortable, but at the same time, find someplace where you can talk without distractions or loud music. Step up the kino too, start out with light touches on the arm, and then go for the arm around or holding her hand. If she's lost in conversation and returning the kino, you know it's time for...
So, Wanna Come to My Room and Listen to Music?
The final step. Invite her back to your room for some quality time together. I personally use the line above, you can go with whatever cheesy excuse you want - yeah, she knows what you're really thinking, but at this point she doesn't care! Don't feel pressured to put the moves on as soon as the door is closed...If you were succesful, it will only be a matter of time.
A few final small tips:
Always Get the Number!
If the girl isn't showing interest, you should have ejected. In all other situations, make sure you score the number.
Take Your Time!
We know a girl's biggest fear is being percieved as a slut. If you try to move too fast, you're showing you think of her as one. This is why I don't encourage kino in the Intro Phase, or complete isolation in the Convo Phase. This is also why the Convo phase is the most important - you're convincing her to think "Hey, I KNOW this guy, it's ok to sleep over!"
Field Tested, DJ Approved
Although I can't tell you how to deal with any given scenario or script a flawless two-hour conversation, I CAN guarantee you that the basic plan outlined above has worked for me. Since I came back to school in late August, I've slept with three girls (two of them I'm still seeing) and made out with two others (one of whom had a boyfriend) all within hours of meeting them. It can take awhile to get your routine down, but once you do, IT'S EASY.
Questions, comments, complaints all welcome.
Without any further ado...
Get Homefield Advantage!
If you follow any sports, you know how helpful it can be to be playing in one's home territory. The same applies to partying. Go to parties where you know a good amount of people. This is one of the HUGE advantages to being in a fraternity. If you're not in one, get to know people who host parties, or host them yourself. Being around people you know will help your social proof, status, and confidence. This is very important for the next step, which is...
Go for the Smooth Into!
Anytime you see a group which has at least one person you already know, and at least one HB who you don't, go for the intro! Jump right into the group to greet your friend, and immediately introduce yourself to everyone else in the group. Very, very easy way to get the approach out of the way.
If That Doesn't Work...
There are plenty of other easy ways to approach, especially if you have Homefield Advantage. Simply approach a HB/group and try the following:
You: "So how are you ladies enjoying the party so far?"
Them: "It's great, blah blah blah"
You: "Yeah, I'm in this fraternity" OR "Yeah, do you know [host of party]? He's a good friend of mine"
Now obviously you can't use that 2nd line if it's not true, but it immediately gives you social proof/status. Another method I like is to ask a girl to be your partner for beirut/beer pong/any other drinking game. What better way to bond then over a game that's designed to get you drunk?
Learn to Recognize IOIs!
I cannot emphasize this enough. This is what makes the difference between ending up in bed or ending up frusterated with a (possibly fake) number. If you fail to detect any interest within the first five minutes, or at any point afterwards, then forget it! Tone of voice, eye contact, kino, body language...be watching these things AT ALL TIMES.
What's Your Name?
This is the first 10-15 minutes of interaction with the girl. You're just getting the basics at this point - residence, hometown, major, year, interests, etc. Dig into each of these subjects as much as possible. Don't just tell her where you're from; tell her ABOUT where you're from. Be funny! You're just trying to make a solid first impression and give her a taste of your personality. I usually DON'T start with the kino yet - if you use it too early, it can scare the girl away. A light touch on the arm is usually the farthest I'll go. If you're seeing signs of interest, we move on to...
You Know What I Really Love?
This is the most essential part of the interaction, and usually occurs in the 1-2 hours after the initial intro. Your goal here is to convey your personality and encourage the girl to do the same. This sounds ridiculously obvious, but I've found the most effective subjects to talk about are:
1. Her biggest interests!
2. Your biggest interests!
I realize this is no great revelation, but you need to take it to it's fullest extent. I highly recommend you have at least one topic that you are an expert on - something you can talk about more or less indefinitely. Of course, this must be something the girl will enjoy talking about as well (sorry, videogames or football won't work here). For me, it's indie music. Girls are AMAZED by how much I know about music, and they realize how much I enjoy talking about it. Now since you don't want to monopolize the conversation, make sure she tells you about what SHE is most interested too. Again, this might seem like pretty obvious advice, but the key is to REALLY DIVE in here - if you run out of stuff to talk about after 20 minutes, you're doing something wrong!
This is also where you should begin to semi-isolate and try some extensive kino. Don't rush her off to your room just yet, but find a more secluded area of the party. Go outside or in a smaller room with a few people hanging out. You want to keep her comfortable, but at the same time, find someplace where you can talk without distractions or loud music. Step up the kino too, start out with light touches on the arm, and then go for the arm around or holding her hand. If she's lost in conversation and returning the kino, you know it's time for...
So, Wanna Come to My Room and Listen to Music?
The final step. Invite her back to your room for some quality time together. I personally use the line above, you can go with whatever cheesy excuse you want - yeah, she knows what you're really thinking, but at this point she doesn't care! Don't feel pressured to put the moves on as soon as the door is closed...If you were succesful, it will only be a matter of time.
A few final small tips:
Always Get the Number!
If the girl isn't showing interest, you should have ejected. In all other situations, make sure you score the number.
Take Your Time!
We know a girl's biggest fear is being percieved as a slut. If you try to move too fast, you're showing you think of her as one. This is why I don't encourage kino in the Intro Phase, or complete isolation in the Convo Phase. This is also why the Convo phase is the most important - you're convincing her to think "Hey, I KNOW this guy, it's ok to sleep over!"
Field Tested, DJ Approved
Although I can't tell you how to deal with any given scenario or script a flawless two-hour conversation, I CAN guarantee you that the basic plan outlined above has worked for me. Since I came back to school in late August, I've slept with three girls (two of them I'm still seeing) and made out with two others (one of whom had a boyfriend) all within hours of meeting them. It can take awhile to get your routine down, but once you do, IT'S EASY.
Questions, comments, complaints all welcome.
.
