First off, happy holidays to everyone here at the forum, hope you are all enjoying life...
I found myself in a difficult situation a few nights ago...
A woman(let's call her Sue,29) and I talk about getting together for drinks. Now I have known Sue for about 5-6 months and she has always been flirty, even overtly so, with me.
So we talk last Monday and I invite her out for drinks...she says she doesn't really feel like going out these days(her period she says) and proposes I come over to her place the following day, Tuesday night.
This sounded fine to me and I show up at her place at around 9.
Sue is a bit off-beat, and her place is very unusual mix of rock n roll memorabilia, American Trash and all sorts of art paintings she has done.
She is definitely into the arts, as her life is all about music,painting and writing...
We had always talked about getting together to talk at her place but it had never materialized, although we had had a couple of encounters before, where we made out a bit...problem is she has an on-off guy...
Anyway, we were enjoying the evening, and I was careful not to be sexual, keeping it light and friendly. However, soon after I got there, she started to touch me, my arm, my chest, playfully punching etc...At some point she offers to make us some food and we are both standing in the kitchen, where she grabs and hugs me very tightly...
I reciprocate, but am still ambivalent about going full force ahead...at this point I also had a bit of a headache, so she says if I'd like to 'lie down with her...' but I tell her I'll be ok....
After eating on her couch, we light up , drink wine and she seems a bit disappointed so I start getting a bit more bold, stroking her arm, back and legs...
I try to kiss her but she turn from me and says not to do that...however, she says it in a very soft, demure, voice, all the while looking at the floor and for the life of me I could not understand whether she wanted me to stop or continue.
I stop for a bit, continue talking and a while later I start playing with her hair and attempt a second kiss.
Again, the same response...she doesn't look into my eyes, but I feel her muscles tense a bit and there is resistance to my advance....I just look at her and she says "Please, don't make me tell you NO.."
At that I stop since she also pops out a reference to GG Alin( a ****ed up rock singer from the early 90's who was convicted of rape and used to sort of rape women onstage at his concerts..)
I thought she was calling me a rapist and after that I wanted to just cut the evening short...It was now almost 4 anyway, and sex seemed out of the question. She asked me why I was going and as I was putting on my shoes, she was lying on the bed, sort of seductively(like Uma Therman in the pulp Fiction poster actually).
I go home and next day I sent her an FB message saying thanks for the invite.
She asks why I left and we have a telephone conversation...
Over the phone, I explain to her that I felt she was calling me a rapist(the GG alin remark) but she says she meant it completely differently....she says she meant that GG would 'sort of' rape those girls but the girls themselves would go to the concerts 'expecting' and 'wanting' it to happen...
Now , correct me brothers if I am wrong, but it seems like Sue was asking me to 'take it forcefully' the other night....
I don't do that with women, don't have it in me I'm afraid...to me...'No' is where I stop...
but I can't help wondering if I handled it incorrectly or if I just happened upon an unusual lady who likes some measure of force...
Anyway, she says that she has feelings for me and is a bit afraid of what will happen to us if we become intimate, since she says she wants me to be in her life and is afraid of risking our relationship ...My reply is that I can't foresee that future, but intimacy between people who care is something special and should be encouraged, not stopped.
Sue seemed to think I would 'dump her' as a friend after we had sex...must say here Sue seems very insecure even though she is quite attractive....
So, what is your take on this situation and how should I proceed... I think she is definitely open to getting together again...in fact, we mentioned my place...
Thanks for reading,
I found myself in a difficult situation a few nights ago...
A woman(let's call her Sue,29) and I talk about getting together for drinks. Now I have known Sue for about 5-6 months and she has always been flirty, even overtly so, with me.
So we talk last Monday and I invite her out for drinks...she says she doesn't really feel like going out these days(her period she says) and proposes I come over to her place the following day, Tuesday night.
This sounded fine to me and I show up at her place at around 9.
Sue is a bit off-beat, and her place is very unusual mix of rock n roll memorabilia, American Trash and all sorts of art paintings she has done.
She is definitely into the arts, as her life is all about music,painting and writing...
We had always talked about getting together to talk at her place but it had never materialized, although we had had a couple of encounters before, where we made out a bit...problem is she has an on-off guy...
Anyway, we were enjoying the evening, and I was careful not to be sexual, keeping it light and friendly. However, soon after I got there, she started to touch me, my arm, my chest, playfully punching etc...At some point she offers to make us some food and we are both standing in the kitchen, where she grabs and hugs me very tightly...
I reciprocate, but am still ambivalent about going full force ahead...at this point I also had a bit of a headache, so she says if I'd like to 'lie down with her...' but I tell her I'll be ok....
After eating on her couch, we light up , drink wine and she seems a bit disappointed so I start getting a bit more bold, stroking her arm, back and legs...
I try to kiss her but she turn from me and says not to do that...however, she says it in a very soft, demure, voice, all the while looking at the floor and for the life of me I could not understand whether she wanted me to stop or continue.
I stop for a bit, continue talking and a while later I start playing with her hair and attempt a second kiss.
Again, the same response...she doesn't look into my eyes, but I feel her muscles tense a bit and there is resistance to my advance....I just look at her and she says "Please, don't make me tell you NO.."
At that I stop since she also pops out a reference to GG Alin( a ****ed up rock singer from the early 90's who was convicted of rape and used to sort of rape women onstage at his concerts..)
I thought she was calling me a rapist and after that I wanted to just cut the evening short...It was now almost 4 anyway, and sex seemed out of the question. She asked me why I was going and as I was putting on my shoes, she was lying on the bed, sort of seductively(like Uma Therman in the pulp Fiction poster actually).
I go home and next day I sent her an FB message saying thanks for the invite.
She asks why I left and we have a telephone conversation...
Over the phone, I explain to her that I felt she was calling me a rapist(the GG alin remark) but she says she meant it completely differently....she says she meant that GG would 'sort of' rape those girls but the girls themselves would go to the concerts 'expecting' and 'wanting' it to happen...
Now , correct me brothers if I am wrong, but it seems like Sue was asking me to 'take it forcefully' the other night....
I don't do that with women, don't have it in me I'm afraid...to me...'No' is where I stop...
but I can't help wondering if I handled it incorrectly or if I just happened upon an unusual lady who likes some measure of force...
Anyway, she says that she has feelings for me and is a bit afraid of what will happen to us if we become intimate, since she says she wants me to be in her life and is afraid of risking our relationship ...My reply is that I can't foresee that future, but intimacy between people who care is something special and should be encouraged, not stopped.
Sue seemed to think I would 'dump her' as a friend after we had sex...must say here Sue seems very insecure even though she is quite attractive....
So, what is your take on this situation and how should I proceed... I think she is definitely open to getting together again...in fact, we mentioned my place...
Thanks for reading,
