Internet Personals:Calling BEFORE you've met in person.

[8ball]

You go to a club, chat up a chick, get her number.

That's one thing.

You to a personals site, chat up a chick, get a number.

That's something else.

She hasn't seen you, she doesn't know your mannerisms ; she doesn't know how you present yourself in real-time, 3D space.

I have a date tomorrow. She wants me to call her beforehand. I've done this before with other women and it never seems to go very well. I do MUCH better in person. Cold-calling someone you've never met and trying to be confident,funny,charming to a voice is rather difficult. It seems - backwards - to me. I'd have a much easier time on the phone if we'd actually interfaced in person beforehand.

Does anyone have any rules of thumb? I don't want to blow the phone call so bad that she doesn't want to meet in person. ( I've done this - NOT pretty. ) I'm guessing keep it brief.

Above all, I don't want to talk myself out of an initial 'chat' date.

Anyone have any tips?

 

[Mr. Latte]

If I were you, there's no WAY I'd meet some chick without having spoken to her on the phone. People are often one way online, and totally diff in person. I see post after post here about guys who wet their pants every time a girl walks down the same hallway, yet can chat girls up online for hours....what makes you thing it's any different for girls. Also, I suggest that you MEET her somewhere...if she's lame/psycho, you can politely extract yourself from the situation.

 

[8ball]

Yep!

I agree.

We're meeting at a public bar/restaurant during the afternoon. If its lame a quick exit is easy.

What I'm trying to say is that I feel 'cold' calling someone puts me at a disadvantage, while in person, I can control the situation.

 

[BobbDobbs]

I agree, if you can skip the phone call, it makes sense. You're just meeting another human being. Both you and she can afford the few minutes in your lives to do so. If she needs all this pre-stuff, she is either nervous or is simply processing through a lot of offers.

 

[8ball]

Online date has come & gone: Report

We set up the date via a personals service on the internet. I have pictures posted but she didn't.

Well, regarding my above post , I did call her before hand to make idle chit-chat. This went a lot more smoothly than I expected and I kept it short.

So I meet her today. She looks FANTASTIC! A tall blonde in tight jeans and a body that would make a grown man cry. I played this a little differently than my other online arranged dates. Thanks to this site, I had some pointers and I think I didn't come across has so AFC.

A couple of quick questions about the meeting tho:

She talked at length about how some other guy liked her but she didn't like him for a variety of reasons. I just kinda blew it off and said something like "Sucks to be that guy. " and moved on w/ another subject. This subject really stands out in my mind b/c she really went into depth about it. Is this some sort of test? If so, for what?

Anyway, she said she had a great time and I said, 'Maybe we'll do it again. I have your cell, I'll call you and set something up for a weekend. She said 'Yes, she'd love to. etc. etc.'

Well, this is the first time I did so well during a first meeting that the girl actually said 'Yes' to another date. So now..how long should I wait before I call her? I kind of want to send her a short email tonight letting her know I had a nice time. But this women is fine, I'm sure other guys do that as well. How do I play it in a manner that locks in a second date?

 

[A1SteakSauce]

Tips

You've got game, 8! Can you post a link to your personals ad so we can see what worked? Also, tell us how you hit on her online and how many emails, how you got her number, etc. I never had any luck with the online thing so I'd love to learn from a guy who did. Nice going,

A1