Internet Dating Redux

[TomSwift]

I joined a few online dating sites, mainly for entertainment but with the possibility of meeting a few women. I figured in today's world with the ubiquitousness of social networking sites, that internet dating is worth a shot. Well...it's worth a good laugh anyway.

Anyway, from my experiences, I came up with my own laundry list that I wanted to share. These are in random order.

1) If you are unwilling or unprepared to meet in real life DO NOT APPLY.
2) I did not join the site to meet a pen pal. We live in the same city for chrissakes! If you insist on emailing/phoning/etc. for 2 weeks before meeting DO NOT APPLY.
3) If I list "Athletic and toned/Slender/About Average" as my preferred body types, and you are "Full figured" or "A Few extra pounds" DO NOT APPLY.
4) If your picture clearly shows you to be a candidate for The Biggest Loser and you list your body type as "A few extra pounds" DO NOT APPLY.
5) If your primary profile photo is 3 years old or more DO NOT APPLY.
6) If you only have one profile photo, and it's blurry, taken from a distance, and with your parents, DO NOT APPLY.
7) If ANY of your photos are "glamour shots" DO NOT APPLY.
8) I don't mind dating single moms, but if the first line in your profile is something like "My kids are my #1 priority" or "My babies are my life!" DO NOT APPLY. (This usually means that your dates will be at some kiddie pizza joint where you'll be on diaper duty or worse).
9) If you say anywhere in your profile that you're looking for "Mr. Right" or "someone to spend the rest of my life with" DO NOT APPLY. (Geez, just meet people and have fun first. The rest will follow naturally.)
10) If you say anywhere in your profile that "I don't want to rush into anything. I like to take my time getting to know you...blah blah blah" DO NOT APPLY. (Yeah. This means no sex.)

I'm thinking of adding this to my profile. What do you guys think?

 

[KarmaSutra]

At least they'll know where they stand.

Be prepared for an onslaught of misogynistic non-compliance to their wantonness.

"No single Mothers" is first and foremost.

 

[Colossus]

Lol. A few years back I made a profile where I deliberately tried to be as arrogant and assh0le-ish as I could. I actually got a TON of responses, but a lot of them were flames from some livid wenches. It was well-worth the entertainment factor. I even had a female doctor email me this page-long diatribe telling me what a selfish assh0le I was, lol.

Nowadays I just keep it short and sweet. No sense in putting your disqualifiers up there, just next them as they come.

 

[Mxrider01]

That's golden! Haha so true....

They should have guidelines and rules for those girls on how to make a profile that actually works. Most profiles i have read online are all about the same; a laundry list of somewhat unreasonable demands that only the bachelor on TV could fulfill. Although some of them are realistic and down to earth, they are usually the fatties!

I say do it!.. You can always take it off after your experiment to see what happens. Let us know what goes down!

 

[DropZone3]

Online dating can be fun and entertaining if you don't take it too seriously.

It's amazing how many ugly women may contact you because of the buffer that internet creates.

Have fun with it, but just remember that women on online dating sites are getting flooded from guys which raise their ego and allow them be picky to absurd levels.

In the end, I have to agree with posters on this site that it easier in the field but nonetheless, online dating can add some extra plates to spin from your field game.

 

[Warrior74]

No worse than the women who have a laundry list of what they want and do not want. I usually just ignore those women's profiles, I'm not going to try to prove I meet her qualifications regardless of if I fit them or not.

I suppose posting those types of qualifications sets a frame as a man I'm not going to jump through some woman's hoops and qualify myself before I even meet her. Bad precedent in my opinion. The question is, what sort of woman would actually contact you after reading that list? What does that list say about the type of person you are in the mind of the person who actually meets your qualifications? (this is an honest question by the way, I really want to know). Post your results.

 

[TomSwift]

Yeah, I posted the list as a tongue-in-cheek rant reflecting the shyte I've seen on these sites. I doubt I'd actually post the whole list in a profile. But it's amazing how often those items come up when browsing profiles or deciding whether to respond to emails.

On another note, I have met some really neat women online. And when I say "neat" I mean those that have no agendas, just going out to meet people and see what happens. They're rare tho.

Edit: I WOULD consider adding #1 and #2 to my profile. There have been numerous women that have stopped responding once I mentioned meeting up.

 

[Die Hard]

Internet dating never seizes to amaze me...

Example 1: I sent one 33 yr old chick a message. I just turned 30 myself (oh damn! I forgot to made a thread about how the big 3 hit me and it's affecting me ) and generally go for girls around 24, but she looked okay for her age so I just decided to give her a chance, lol.

Today I got a reply from her:

"Hello Die Hard,
Thank you for your message but I'm afraid you're not really my type, if you'll allow me to be this frank... I thought it would be a decent thing to let you know.

I do wish you much luck and fun in finding a nice match/date/relationship!!!"


Uhmmm, okay...


Example 2: I send some chick the following message:

Hey there,
I wanna get to know you...

She replies:

"Hey,
Short and snappy, nice! Are you a man of little words or just straight to the point? Anyway, I see you're quite sportsmanlike " (my profile says I work out a lot)

So I reply with:

"Oh, I can also be a man or more words. But you have to earn that first
So... your profile says you like dancing and you named Salsa as one of your favorite music styles. I take it you can also dance Salsa, then?"

She never sent anything back after that, lol. Where did it go wrong?!

 

[Iceberg]

She never sent anything back after that, lol. Where did it go wrong?!

I'm no expert on internet dating, but in my short few months of trying it, I've done pretty well.

I'd say that "I want to get to know you." is a terribly bland introduction. If you had already saw something about Salsa on her profile, why not make that the introduction? Something like, "You're into salsa? I've been thinking about planning a trip to Cuba to learn salsa from its roots. Do you compete or just do it for fun?"

Chicks are getting literally dozens of messages a day from social retards saying, "Hey." "Sup." "Tell me about yourself."
You have to be the guy with something on his mind. Not just the "I like your profile" guy.

When that girl called you "a man of little words", don't take that as a compliment. It means you're boring. Oh, and take that stuff about working out off of your profile. Your pics probably show that you're not a fat a*s, so there's no need to mention that. I mean, if you're passionate about hockey or marathons or whatever, then talk about that. But "i work out a lot" just seems like a boring way of saying "i have a nice body, please like me." Or if you want to talk about it, then do it in an interesting way. "I have a lot of energy, so I've become a bit of a gym rat. So I've become pretty obsessed with cooking healthy food. I've mastered the art of baked chicken." I dunno. Some sh*t like that.

 

[Pair A Dice]

She never sent anything back after that, lol. Where did it go wrong?!

You didn't go wrong. Maybe she is on a bender and forgot to check the Web site. Maybe she found someone else and didn't bother to tell you. It could be any number of things. If anything, like someone else said, try to be wittier in your responses.

 

[Die Hard]

I'm no expert on internet dating, but in my short few months of trying it, I've done pretty well.

I'd say that "I want to get to know you." is a terribly bland introduction. If you had already saw something about Salsa on her profile, why not make that the introduction? Something like, "You're into salsa? I've been thinking about planning a trip to Cuba to learn salsa from its roots. Do you compete or just do it for fun?"

Chicks are getting literally dozens of messages a day from social retards saying, "Hey." "Sup." "Tell me about yourself."
You have to be the guy with something on his mind. Not just the "I like your profile" guy.

When that girl called you "a man of little words", don't take that as a compliment. It means you're boring. Oh, and take that stuff about working out off of your profile. Your pics probably show that you're not a fat a*s, so there's no need to mention that. I mean, if you're passionate about hockey or marathons or whatever, then talk about that. But "i work out a lot" just seems like a boring way of saying "i have a nice body, please like me." Or if you want to talk about it, then do it in an interesting way. "I have a lot of energy, so I've become a bit of a gym rat. So I've become pretty obsessed with cooking healthy food. I've mastered the art of baked chicken." I dunno. Some sh*t like that.

Whether "I wanna get to know you" is a good opener or not is beside the point. She responded (which she wouldn't do at all if she wasn't interested) and on top of that she responded in a positive way.

Her question about me being a man of little words was meant in a positive way, she started by saying "Short and snappy, nice!"

I did tell you that my profile says that I work out a lot but I never said this is what's literally written on my profile. As a matter of fact, I put it on my profile exactly in a manner like you suggested.


Thanks anyway, Ice

 

[vatoloco]

She never sent anything back after that, lol. Where did it go wrong?!

You didn't come back with something like:

"Yes. What's your name?"

You were indirectly trying to qualify yourself to her with the dancing thing and turned her off.

Or she was just nuts.

Either or.

 

[Die Hard]

Easy choice, she was just nuts (THEY ALL ARE!! )


Hmm, why do you interpret the dancing thing as indirectly qualifying myself? I thought I was more like trying to get her to qualify to me, lol. I was sorta implying that I dance Salsa myself and that I was hoping she is able to dance Salsa as well.

It's as if I tell her "I hope you can dance the Salsa...", which sorta implies "I hope you can suffice my needs..."), which is me making her qualify herself to me, right?

By the way, I like your suggestion "Yes. What's your name?"

 

[vatoloco]

Easy choice, she was just nuts (THEY ALL ARE!! )

Ain't they?

Hmm, why do you interpret the dancing thing as indirectly qualifying myself? I thought I was more like trying to get her to qualify to me, lol. I was sorta implying that I dance Salsa myself and that I was hoping she is able to dance Salsa as well.

The thing is that you have to put yourself in the woman's shoes. They get dozens of messages on a daily basis and if I'm a woman and I'm quickly skimming your message, it sounds to me like "OMG! You dance salsa too!? We have that in common!! OMG we're soulmates; destined to be together!"

It's as if I tell her "I hope you can dance the Salsa...", which sorta implies "I hope you can suffice my needs..."), which is me making her qualify herself to me, right?

Well, if you had framed it that way, then yes. But the other way, your implication that she's the one qualifying is not powerful.

By the way, I like your suggestion "Yes. What's your name?"

"Short and snappy... [Something that] a man of little words [who is] just straight to the point [would say].

 

[Nutz]

Lol. A few years back I made a profile where I deliberately tried to be as arrogant and assh0le-ish as I could. I actually got a TON of responses, but a lot of them were flames from some livid wenches. It was well-worth the entertainment factor. I even had a female doctor email me this page-long diatribe telling me what a selfish assh0le I was, lol.

Nowadays I just keep it short and sweet. No sense in putting your disqualifiers up there, just next them as they come.

That last point is key, don't put up your disqualifiers. Nobody likes a negative nancy. Instead put up all the stuff you like, so instead of slamming the fatties, extol the virtues of the fit and nubile.

 

[Wilko]

Nothing wrong with changing the bait (profile) every so often, same with the pics, do the experiment for yourself. I find myself agreeing with Nutz, far better to maintain a positive frame and next the undesirables as you have to. That said, you do not want to try and appeal to everyone, be specific, create a niche for yourself, you'll be alienating some groups of girls but your appeal will be stronger to the girls who are into the niche you've created.

Depends a lot on format too, you can afford to be more verbose and detailed on OKC than you can on POF. For POF, one or two paragraphs max, just a brief impression of your best self.