internet addiction

[Caesar20]

how to cope/ overcome it? it's gotten quite serious during the last year or so (kind of a early life crisis). i also question my decisions in life (as in field of study, everything basically), i'm no good at sports (burned down completely at kickboxing; not that i didn't have the strength ...., i didn't have the basic will to continue it), i'm also scared of even goinng outside sometimes or go running :nervous: , because i'm scared that people will judge the way i look, think of me as a retard or sth. i occasionally smile or get sad out of nothing apparently, has to do with my uncontrolling thoughts, as in:
-i picture myself w/ a girl, doing _anything (sex, talk.....), then i smile whereever i am at that moment (happens through all of the day); i smile just "out of nothing", as thought by a random observer (if i'm seen)
-i picture myself of being a local superhero (as in he who disarms the bad guy, police, swat..... ); i get "happier" or maybe slightly more confident (on the outside)
-i picture myself being betrayed by friends either in public (often) or in private (rare), as in being bullied, making fun of in front of the whole bar, maybe presented as a freak (mental) in public (bar...). i get really really depressed, everything starts to feel bad, even if i liked the music or danced a min ago, i clear the dance area and just watch (d.a.); i drop my sight if it happens somewhere random in public and i become really sad-looking.

that thing w/ the dance happens also on a regulary basis that i begin to feel like everyone is watching me and judging me (local disco/ club). often happens also that i walk in the bar (or somewhere, but nightlife related) and i behave like a drunk, my reactions are slow, my balance is somewhat far from perfect...), but the thing is that i'm competely sober.


i also spend all day on the web (haven't been able to acquire a job in the summer holiday), when i should be learning for exams (college), i question if the field of study is what i REALLY want to do in life (as said above).
i also sux at any sports (bball, soccer, hockey, volleyball, you name it). don't know how to play them at all (seriously).
now, how to overcome it (addiction)? i don't have the power to just pull out the cord and stop using it, also tried numerous times to stop it for a day or so (been mostly sucessfull, w/ small exceptions). and the worst thing is that i don't do anything useful online. i don't lookup things that interest me, i just check multiple forums several times a day, read 1375684 different threads............


also, leave this in H&F, mental health is health too.

 

[ThreeStorms]

Just a guess as your post confused me somehow ^_^ :

Like everyone sitting at home most of the time, you are living in your own, rather weird mind-made world and think waaaayy too much instead of doing things. Don
't focus so much on who you are, but rather on what you do, that means: find things you like and get good at it that. Break the cycle you are caught in by trying out a hundred different things. And get a job. That helped me so much.
One who does not know you does not care about you, so don't fear anyone will judge and/or laugh. The only fear you should have is to waste your life sitting in front of this damned screen.

And if you feel like smiling without appearent reason, do it. Nothing wrong with it. I like it when people are happy without specific reason.

 

[Cbaoth]

I will keep this short as I am not here to counsel you, nor do I have the time to.

Your first step is to start taking responsibility for your life. There are people who may provide you with support, but fundamentally you are your own master, you can take control of your life and put the effort in, or you can blame every other external factor you can think of and fall into a pit of despair. There is no quick fix and there is no therapist in the world who can change you, that effort to change must come from within.

As an exercise, start doing all the things you have been putting off (the time which you instead spend on the internet), at the end of each day write down the things you did and the things you did not do. No excuses, just do it. You can choose not too and continue to play the role of the victim. If that is what you choose, so be it, I have no sympathy.

 

[MetalFortress]

You should join the police acadamy or join law enforcement in some other capacity, to answer that one particular fantasy. That might be your calling. I picture myself as a big name radio personality and sportscaster, a vintage hot rodder who can build them and then sell them for massive profits, and a rich real estate millionaire. So what am I doing? Well, I'm taking radio and sportscasting classes at a college that has an actual AM Radio station, working on cars, especially vintage, any chance I get (one of my friends has a 48 Chevy 3150 truck that I help him with) and reading books about real estate, while saving money to build capital.

And remember, people aren't judging you who don't even know you. In fact, most of them are too busy worrying about THEMSELVES and what other people think of THEM, to judge you. The others just don't care.

 

[Warboss Alex]

And remember, people aren't judging you who don't even know you. In fact, most of them are too busy worrying about THEMSELVES and what other people think of THEM, to judge you. The others just don't care.

Excellent point bro.