Interesting situation - need advice!

[KillShot]

Hey,

Ok so met this girl at work, things clicked from the start. We got along super great and went on 8 dates within 2 weeks with her each lasting 3+ hours each time. We clicked super well and she told me she liked me, on the last date I took her to a wedding. So here is the kicker her last boyfriend killed himself in December of 2010. She told me this on date one, so I was like no problem lets take things super slow. The whole time she was like I'm so suprised I moved on so fast and am so happy you entered my life. Fast forward to the weddingwe had the best time, got my first kiss with her it was hot and heavy and we had just an amazing time, she was leaving because that was her plan from the start due to having thing to do in the morning.

Things left akward as she left the hotel. The next day she texted me your so nice and sweet and if a nice guy like you enters my life and I freak out I have a lot of work to do. She told me she felt guilty for moving on, afraid of getting hurt again and things like that. So she has since left the company for a few weeks and I text her once a week, trying to give her space. This girl is like the perfect girl of what I want just need some advice on what to do and how to approach the whole situation.

 

[cordoncordon]

Hey,

Ok so met this girl at work, things clicked from the start. We got along super great and went on 8 dates within 2 weeks with her each lasting 3+ hours each time. We clicked super well and she told me she liked me, on the last date I took her to a wedding. So here is the kicker her last boyfriend killed himself in December of 2010. She told me this on date one, so I was like no problem lets take things super slow. The whole time she was like I'm so suprised I moved on so fast and am so happy you entered my life. Fast forward to the weddingwe had the best time, got my first kiss with her it was hot and heavy and we had just an amazing time, she was leaving because that was her plan from the start due to having thing to do in the morning.

Things left akward as she left the hotel. The next day she texted me your so nice and sweet and if a nice guy like you enters my life and I freak out I have a lot of work to do. She told me she felt guilty for moving on, afraid of getting hurt again and things like that. So she has since left the company for a few weeks and I text her once a week, trying to give her space. This girl is like the perfect girl of what I want just need some advice on what to do and how to approach the whole situation.

Ok, there are so many mistakes here I don't even know where to begin. But off the top of my head.

You saw WAY too much of this girl is WAY too short amount of time. 8 dates in 2 weeks? Each at least 3 hours? Wow. I would think 2 or 3 dates during that time would have been plenty. Ever hear of overkill? Show them that you have your own life, that you are mysterious, that you are a busy fun guy. Doing what you did just tells the girl that you have no life and are desperate.

So anyway, you go on these 8 dates in 2 weeks, and it took you until the 8th date to even kiss her???? WTF? I mean by date number 2 you should have at least kissed, and by date 4-5 been banging her. And especially at a wedding bro. You are at a wedding, girls hormones and emotions are at a fever pitch, you are drinking, AND have a hotel room, and all you did was kiss? This should have been like a porn movie you were sexing so much.

So to put it simply, she thinks of you now as a friend as you blew your opportunity to get sexual with her. My advice would be to leave her alone and see if she calls you, but my guess is this is a lost cause.

Better luck next time.

 

[Iceberg]

Ok, there are so many mistakes here I don't even know where to begin. But off the top of my head.

You saw WAY too much of this girl is WAY too short amount of time. 8 dates in 2 weeks? Each at least 3 hours? Wow. I would think 2 or 3 dates during that time would have been plenty. Ever hear of overkill? Show them that you have your own life, that you are mysterious, that you are a busy fun guy. Doing what you did just tells the girl that you have no life and are desperate.

So anyway, you go on these 8 dates in 2 weeks, and it took you until the 8th date to even kiss her???? WTF? I mean by date number 2 you should have at least kissed, and by date 4-5 been banging her. And especially at a wedding bro. You are at a wedding, girls hormones and emotions are at a fever pitch, you are drinking, AND have a hotel room, and all you did was kiss? This should have been like a porn movie you were sexing so much.

So to put it simply, she thinks of you now as a friend as you blew your opportunity to get sexual with her. My advice would be to leave her alone and see if she calls you, but my guess is this is a lost cause.

Better luck next time.

Holy s**t. Yeah, I totally agree.

I don't care if her boyfriend died, or she got divorced, or broke up, or whatever. The reason two adults DATE each other is for (at the very least), some sexual escalation. I agree in taking things slow relationship-wise, as in, maybe you don't become official until 6 months in. But in a sexual sense, no one waits 8 f**king dates for the first kiss. Poor girl must have felt like she was hanging out with her grandpa.

(I do care that her boyfriend died. I just dont think it has anything to do with how you should treat her.)

The problem is, you tried to respond to her emotions in a logical sense. She says "My boyfriend died." and you thought "Okay. That means I should take things slow, and carefully ease her into having feelings for me."

Attraction doesn't work in a logical sense. That girl, with all her hardships, could have very well banged you on the first date. It's a matter of YOU creating emotion. Not you listening to her feelings and her life story, and then responding accordingly. A girl (especially one who spent 8 f**king dates with you in 2 f**king weeks) wants her shoulders rubbed. She wants her neck kissed. She doesn't want some "nice guy" listening to her politely, and taking things slow.

Maybe she'll come back to you, maybe she won't. But if I'm a chick who went on 8 dates with a dude who couldn't escalate, I'd go find an easier lay. Someone with the guts to make a move.

Learn from this. Move forward.

 

[Chickfight]

Holy s**t. Yeah, I totally agree.

I don't care if her boyfriend died, or she got divorced, or broke up, or whatever. The reason two adults DATE each other is for (at the very least), some sexual escalation. I agree in taking things slow relationship-wise, as in, maybe you don't become official until 6 months in. But in a sexual sense, no one waits 8 f**king dates for the first kiss. Poor girl must have felt like she was hanging out with her grandpa.

(I do care that her boyfriend died. I just dont think it has anything to do with how you should treat her.)

The problem is, you tried to respond to her emotions in a logical sense. She says "My boyfriend died." and you thought "Okay. That means I should take things slow, and carefully ease her into having feelings for me."

Attraction doesn't work in a logical sense. That girl, with all her hardships, could have very well banged you on the first date. It's a matter of YOU creating emotion. Not you listening to her feelings and her life story, and then responding accordingly. A girl (especially one who spent 8 f**king dates with you in 2 f**king weeks) wants her shoulders rubbed. She wants her neck kissed. She doesn't want some "nice guy" listening to her politely, and taking things slow.

Maybe she'll come back to you, maybe she won't. But if I'm a chick who went on 8 dates with a dude who couldn't escalate, I'd go find an easier lay. Someone with the guts to make a move.

Learn from this. Move forward.

I agree with all of this, except that she DID want and NEED some "nice guy" taking things slow, to help her out of her emotional trauma, unfortunately this guy has zero chance of actually getting with her. She needed an emotional tampon more than anyone and she used you. The reason she kissed you was to actually see if there actually was attraction (I've been out with him a million times, there MUST be), but nope nothing, then the awkwardness..

Things left akward as she left the hotel. The next day she texted me your so nice and sweet and if a nice guy like you enters my life and I freak out I have a lot of work to do. She told me she felt guilty for moving on, afraid of getting hurt again and things like that. So she has since left the company for a few weeks and I text her once a week, trying to give her space. This girl is like the perfect girl of what I want just need some advice on what to do and how to approach the whole situation.

"I dated him and kissed him, why don't I want to keep taking things further? It's not because he's so nice, I want a nice guy! Oh right, I'm just freakin out BECAUSE he so nice, I feel guilty and I'm afraid of getting hurt again, thats it" text book backwards rationalization.

You don't need to approach the situation, you need to walk away from it. She does seem like a nice girl, giving it a try and letting you down easy, but there isn't any attraction bro.

 

[Igetit!]

Hey,

Ok so met this girl at work, things clicked from the start. We got along super great and went on 8 dates within 2 weeks with her each lasting 3+ hours each time.

Well like the other have already said,the "8 dates in 2 weeks" thing was a bit much dude. It was overkill.

So here is the kicker her last boyfriend killed himself in December of 2010. She told me this on date one, so I was like no problem lets take things super slow.

Hold up a second dude.....


This girl told you that her previous boyfriend killed himself......ON THE FIRST DATE???? So on the VERY FIRST DATE,she told you about her boyfriend commiting suicide.


Guess this girl doesn't know about first date ettiquette,lol. Shouldn't be bringing up stuff like that on a first date,but the thing that gets me is this......




You said that she told you about her boyfriend commiting suicide on date #1,then after she said that,YOU DECIDED to "take things slow".


So after you decided to take things slow,RIGHT AFTER YOU DECIDED THAT,you proceeded to go on 7 more dates with her in a span of 13 days... with one of those dates being a WEDDING.



WOW. Well,I'm sure glad you decided to take things "slow".

The next day she texted me your so nice and sweet and if a nice guy like you enters my life and I freak out I have a lot of work to do.

Complete BULLSH!T.

That's code for "I feel no attraction towards you",just like the other members said.


She said that since you being "nice and sweet" makes her freak out,that she has work to do on herself. Ok,so what does that mean? What,she's going to go see a therapist,get herself "straightened out",then you two'll be ready to date?


Yeah,like that'll happen.

She told me she felt guilty for moving on,

Yeah,sure she does. It's easy to tell if a girl is full of CRAP because all her babbling won't make any sense. So to "justify" her not continuing to see you,she's come up with........

"I feel guilty for moving on"
"Since you're so "nice and sweet",I'm "freaking out" and need to work on myself".
"I'm afraid of getting hurt again"



ALL BULLSH!T.


That thing she said about her "freaking out" if nice and sweet guys enter in her life......that makes me think she's used to dating jerks.


So if a guy is "nice and sweet",is respectful,and treats her with dignity and respect,she "freaks out". Yeah,that's women for ya,lol.

This girl is like the perfect girl of what I want just need some advice on what to do and how to approach the whole situation.

Well I'm sorry dude,but it looks like you're a good,decent,and caring person,or in other words,you're the kind of a guy she "freaks out" over if you enter into her life.


So unless you plan on changing yourself or your behavior around her,it's more than likely over.