interesting question
- Thread starter Perry
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premierxxx
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Tell her yes, but you haven't found a perfect girl to have kids with yet.
Tictac
Banned
I'm sort of in between on this. I agree that discussing children is not an early topic for dating/getting to know someone. But that does not mean is should never come up. Its not a basis for qualifying or disqualifying someone to go out with. That would be a weird thing to do, no?
If the relationship is going in a serious direction (months after it starts), that's a different story.
So keep it light & funny out of the box.
Besides, how old are you? You could (& probably will) change as you age. I didn't want or think much of kids when I was younger. But I have three now and wouldn't trade them for anything. And by the time we started having kids, I was great with the idea.
Tictac
If the relationship is going in a serious direction (months after it starts), that's a different story.
So keep it light & funny out of the box.
Besides, how old are you? You could (& probably will) change as you age. I didn't want or think much of kids when I was younger. But I have three now and wouldn't trade them for anything. And by the time we started having kids, I was great with the idea.
Tictac
im only 20, but this question randomly popped into my head the other day. i had to ask it before i forgot it. i agree i might change my view as i get older, but i was wondering if the question DID come up now and i said i dont like kids, would that make her even slightly less interested.
Tictac
Banned
Perry,
How about 'not right now' or haven't thought it through. Big decision. Give it its due. And never say never.
Tictac
How about 'not right now' or haven't thought it through. Big decision. Give it its due. And never say never.
Tictac
Igetit!
Moderator
I say NO.Perry said:
You have to understand that "attraction" is ingrained.
It's a function of the human body that gets activated when certain conditions are met.
Since it's a bodily function,that means it isn't a choice.
If you're meeting the conditions that cause attraction in a woman,then she'll be attracted AUTOMATICALLY,and the "fact" that you don't like kids won't change that,.
If I cut my finger,it heals...AUTOMATICALLY...by itself.
It's not a decision I make,it's a bodily function.
If I go outside when it's 100 degrees,my body will start to sweat...AUTOMATICALLY...by itself,whether I like it or not.
The body healing itself when it's cut,and sweating when it's in excessive heat are things THE BODY DOES ON IT'S OWN under certain specific conditions.
Well,attraction is also a bodily function that gets activated when certain conditions are met.
You meet those conditions in a woman,and as long as those conditions are present,you can say whatever you want,and she'll still be attracted to you.
And if she has the choice between following her emotions and the attraction she feels towards you,versus the logical "fact" that you don't like small children,well which do you think she'll follow?
More than likely,what will happen is if she wants kids,and is attracted to you,but you tell her you don't like kids,she'll just try to change you into wanting kids instead of losing interest.
If she's an older woman who wants kids and she's attracted to you,she'll probably put up with it as long as she can,then if she sees that you just aren't going to change your mind,then against everything in her heart,mind,and emotions,she may leave the relationship.
Her leaving the relationship doesn't mean she's not still attracted to you,only that she went against her emotions and feelings of wanting to stay with you,which is RARE.
It would have to be an EXTREME CIRCUMSTANCE for a woman to go against her emotions.
So to me,no,telling her you don't like kids won't make her lose interest,IF she's attracted to you.
If she isn't attracted,then she'll use the "you not liking kids" as an excuse to end things.
I'm gonna tell you this from a father's point of view. Before I had kids I never wanted any, never felt comfortable around kids and didn't care for other people's children at all. Now that I have one of my own I love kids, they are great.
I think the best anwser is "someday, when I'm financially stable and I find the right woman". Because that might be true someday. Good luck.
I think the best anwser is "someday, when I'm financially stable and I find the right woman". Because that might be true someday. Good luck.