duke007
Master Don Juan
After reading a bunch of recent threads and reflecting on my experience last night, I have a
few things to say about DJing in general.
Because this thread is long, I'll summarise my thoughts and observations.
1) Social circles and introductions cannot be relied upon to meet new people. If you know social experts like Fingers you'll come across new faces regularly, but AFC groups tend to stick in tight-knit circles and/or are too self-interested when it comes to new single women.
2) People don't know how to be good party hosts. Lead the mingling of different groups and you will be admired. I was so annoyed by the lack of mingling at this party that I have resolved to try introductions at parties that are not mine. Even better display of confidence!
3) DON'T GET HUNG UP ABOUT YOUR HEIGHT. Good grooming and a confident demeanour will make you appear taller. If you look young, the world will be your oyster from 25 onwards.
4) Even though AFCs are probably watching you and criticising your approaches to women, it's just pure jealousy! Don't give a stuff what others may think of your dealings with women.
5) Live comedy is like doing cold approaches - not everything is going to work perfectly like a movie script (romance and funny movie scripts have probably been perfected and redrafted 30 times). If you get frustrated and lose your confidence things could turn ugly, always be in control.
6) All is not what it may seem. Be optimistic. The audience may not be the most responsive, but that doesn't necessarily mean it was YOU who stuffed up. You may get rejected by a girl after laying out some faultless game...who cares, maybe she was in a bad mood or she's just incredibly stuck-up. Similarly, you may interpret a girl's signals as negative but actually she's interested in you.
7) Girls who knew you as an AFC will be pleasantly surprised by the new you, unless you embarrassingly tried to ask her out and made things awkward.
8) Your primary objective going into a party is to have FUN, picking up comes on the side.
-----------
Ok here's the full post:
Firstly as far as meeting women go, social circles and introductions RARELY work for me. As mentioned in the cold approaches thread, they can't be relied upon as a sole source of new women for most people (particulary RAFCs who are rebuilding themselves).
At this 21st birthday party there was one, that's right ONE single girl. A very hot one too. Therefore all the AFCs are secretly ogling her the whole night. It seems an overwhleming proportion of girls I see in social situations have boyfriends.
Guys organise a big night out and half of them bring gfs. Nobody seems to know any single girls, and if they do, it appears obvious that they are working towards banging them. I wonder where the girlfriend's female friends are? There are none, because all their friends are hooked up to guys in the same group.
Here's the scenario, a guy manages to bring a fresh group of girls to a party and his friends snap them up like a game of Hungry, Hungry Hippos. Only there are about 15 hippos and just four little balls. Therefore the ring is now closed, the social circle cannot spread because the partners already know each other. I may be exaggerating but I have witnessed this phenomena in three circles.
Social skills are badly deteriorating. Nobody knows how to be a good party host and do introductions, it's like every penis for himself. MY AFC friend who's birthday it was said later he didn't want to introduce me to the single HB because I would start "putting moves on her"!
There were four groups at the party - family, high school people (my group), uni people, and work people.
I was there from opening to closing and NOBODY intermixed except me. Combine that with a lack of drunkenness (there was no open bar), and it made it quite a muted affair.
Some Uni people left early, leaving only two 'of their kind', a quietish but easy-going couple. I went and spoke to them on two occasions (unintroduced), and only later realised that I was probably the only person they spoke to in the last couple of hours (with the exception of the bday boy in small amounts). What a fun time they must have had!
Of the work people (who the single HB was one of), I got talking with a guy who was shorter than me! And at 5'6" and a half, I'm pretty short. I would guess he was between 5'4" and 5'5" but he made up for it with good grooming and posture. He was really easy to talk to and get rapport with and all I had to do was say "Gday".
There have been lots of threads about tips for young looking and short guys floating around these forums. Forgot about thick soles and other stupid tricks. This guy was good because he had a sense of humour and was confident. He asked me to guess his age - I said 24. He then said he was 30!!!!
This is living proof that us short, youthful looking guys will be damn well off in the future. I'm sure when he's 50 he'll still look fresh.
We were jokingly complaining about the lack of singles at the place, when the HB came along (who he knew from work) and asked how to get to the toilet. I would have introduced myself but you can't really begin Djing when the girl is busting for a pee.
Later on, the short dude was dancing pretty closely with her. Slow sensual grinding and rubbing at a mainly family event, he was the MAN! I'm kinda glad I didn't try to c0ckblock, because I admired his friendliness and confidence. I'd bet that if she wasn't already his fvckbuddy, she would be soon. And she was VERy tall too!
It was pretty pathetic how my ogling AFC friends were jealously making fun of him for making an effort. Eg: "Duke, he's shorter than you, you can take him on....just push him out of the way and show her your moves."
UGH! They hadn't even bothered to meet him
Earlier in the night, I was one of two friends to give a speech, make that roast! Whilst I've given talks before, most of these have been in classroom situations, usually with my entire speech on cue cards.
The biggest audience I've ever spoken to was about 100 people 5 years ago, when a group and I were presenting a small project we did. I only spoke for 2 minutes and read everything from my notes. I was also sh1t scared! I'd always hated presentations, until I was forced to get used to them about 2 years ago.
But this was different, it was the first time I was ever making a purely comedic speech to a large audience. Comedians tell of horror stories where if you're not funny, you crash and burn. And I never trialled my material!
Like I said before people weren't mixing and spread out across the whole large venue, the DJ SUCKED!, and seemingly nobody was tipsy. The place lacked intimacy, which all performers prefer. Lots of oldies were there too so part of me began to think my slightly risque "stand-up routine" might fall flat. The guy's Dad went first and completely bombed, only one admittedly funny joke got laughs so the signs weren't great.
I started off with an awesome C+F line that got only average laughs even though I thought I delivered it perfectly:
"Confident.....witty......manly.....charming.....sexy......that's enough about me, let's talk about *friend*!"
I heard this elsewhere and people cracked up, obviously mine was a tough crowd, not that the joke completely bombed though!
My initial jokes were not comedy gold but still funny to me, but the response wasn't very encouraging. I give credit to my DJ training that I kept compusure and remained confident at this point. Just like any cold approach - it's no easy feat to have a girl or crowd fall for your performance so easily. Things are bound to wrong. When the sh1t hits the fan during my cold approaches I don't let it get to me and ride with the bumps. It was no different during the speech. For some strange reason I got more confident and expressive, just like the thrill of challenge when pursuing a girl is better than an easy victory.
The later jokes were better and people laughed more, but the response never reached the heights of other 21st speeches. Externally i was as cool as a cucumber, but inside I couldn't help but think, "Damn people here I am telling you about how in 7th grade this guy pulled his pants and undies down all the way to his ankles to take a piss at the urinal and all you can do is chuckle?" I remember laughing until my jaw hurt when this happened.
It's just that you see people go for a night out to see a comedian and laugh their heads off at everything, even if it's pretty average. They build up studio audiences and make them laugh extra hard, plus I've seen many a hack get generous laughter in those multi-comedian comedy festival shows they hold every now and again.
My friend got up next and told me later he was worried based on the response my speech got, which he thought was well-performed. He did have some humorous material, I knew because we went over it earlier in the day. At times, I was laughing audibly even though I'd already heard the punchlines. But according the crowd, he pretty much bombed...i thought I had it hard but sh1t, this was VERY harsh of them.
Have people slowly lost their senses of humour? I find almost anything funny but many new people I meet these days just seem incredibly dour.
few things to say about DJing in general.
Because this thread is long, I'll summarise my thoughts and observations.
1) Social circles and introductions cannot be relied upon to meet new people. If you know social experts like Fingers you'll come across new faces regularly, but AFC groups tend to stick in tight-knit circles and/or are too self-interested when it comes to new single women.
2) People don't know how to be good party hosts. Lead the mingling of different groups and you will be admired. I was so annoyed by the lack of mingling at this party that I have resolved to try introductions at parties that are not mine. Even better display of confidence!
3) DON'T GET HUNG UP ABOUT YOUR HEIGHT. Good grooming and a confident demeanour will make you appear taller. If you look young, the world will be your oyster from 25 onwards.
4) Even though AFCs are probably watching you and criticising your approaches to women, it's just pure jealousy! Don't give a stuff what others may think of your dealings with women.
5) Live comedy is like doing cold approaches - not everything is going to work perfectly like a movie script (romance and funny movie scripts have probably been perfected and redrafted 30 times). If you get frustrated and lose your confidence things could turn ugly, always be in control.
6) All is not what it may seem. Be optimistic. The audience may not be the most responsive, but that doesn't necessarily mean it was YOU who stuffed up. You may get rejected by a girl after laying out some faultless game...who cares, maybe she was in a bad mood or she's just incredibly stuck-up. Similarly, you may interpret a girl's signals as negative but actually she's interested in you.
7) Girls who knew you as an AFC will be pleasantly surprised by the new you, unless you embarrassingly tried to ask her out and made things awkward.
8) Your primary objective going into a party is to have FUN, picking up comes on the side.
-----------
Ok here's the full post:
Firstly as far as meeting women go, social circles and introductions RARELY work for me. As mentioned in the cold approaches thread, they can't be relied upon as a sole source of new women for most people (particulary RAFCs who are rebuilding themselves).
At this 21st birthday party there was one, that's right ONE single girl. A very hot one too. Therefore all the AFCs are secretly ogling her the whole night. It seems an overwhleming proportion of girls I see in social situations have boyfriends.
Guys organise a big night out and half of them bring gfs. Nobody seems to know any single girls, and if they do, it appears obvious that they are working towards banging them. I wonder where the girlfriend's female friends are? There are none, because all their friends are hooked up to guys in the same group.
Here's the scenario, a guy manages to bring a fresh group of girls to a party and his friends snap them up like a game of Hungry, Hungry Hippos. Only there are about 15 hippos and just four little balls. Therefore the ring is now closed, the social circle cannot spread because the partners already know each other. I may be exaggerating but I have witnessed this phenomena in three circles.
Social skills are badly deteriorating. Nobody knows how to be a good party host and do introductions, it's like every penis for himself. MY AFC friend who's birthday it was said later he didn't want to introduce me to the single HB because I would start "putting moves on her"!
There were four groups at the party - family, high school people (my group), uni people, and work people.
I was there from opening to closing and NOBODY intermixed except me. Combine that with a lack of drunkenness (there was no open bar), and it made it quite a muted affair.
Some Uni people left early, leaving only two 'of their kind', a quietish but easy-going couple. I went and spoke to them on two occasions (unintroduced), and only later realised that I was probably the only person they spoke to in the last couple of hours (with the exception of the bday boy in small amounts). What a fun time they must have had!
Of the work people (who the single HB was one of), I got talking with a guy who was shorter than me! And at 5'6" and a half, I'm pretty short. I would guess he was between 5'4" and 5'5" but he made up for it with good grooming and posture. He was really easy to talk to and get rapport with and all I had to do was say "Gday".
There have been lots of threads about tips for young looking and short guys floating around these forums. Forgot about thick soles and other stupid tricks. This guy was good because he had a sense of humour and was confident. He asked me to guess his age - I said 24. He then said he was 30!!!!
This is living proof that us short, youthful looking guys will be damn well off in the future. I'm sure when he's 50 he'll still look fresh.
We were jokingly complaining about the lack of singles at the place, when the HB came along (who he knew from work) and asked how to get to the toilet. I would have introduced myself but you can't really begin Djing when the girl is busting for a pee.
Later on, the short dude was dancing pretty closely with her. Slow sensual grinding and rubbing at a mainly family event, he was the MAN! I'm kinda glad I didn't try to c0ckblock, because I admired his friendliness and confidence. I'd bet that if she wasn't already his fvckbuddy, she would be soon. And she was VERy tall too!
It was pretty pathetic how my ogling AFC friends were jealously making fun of him for making an effort. Eg: "Duke, he's shorter than you, you can take him on....just push him out of the way and show her your moves."
UGH! They hadn't even bothered to meet him
Earlier in the night, I was one of two friends to give a speech, make that roast! Whilst I've given talks before, most of these have been in classroom situations, usually with my entire speech on cue cards.
The biggest audience I've ever spoken to was about 100 people 5 years ago, when a group and I were presenting a small project we did. I only spoke for 2 minutes and read everything from my notes. I was also sh1t scared! I'd always hated presentations, until I was forced to get used to them about 2 years ago.
But this was different, it was the first time I was ever making a purely comedic speech to a large audience. Comedians tell of horror stories where if you're not funny, you crash and burn. And I never trialled my material!
Like I said before people weren't mixing and spread out across the whole large venue, the DJ SUCKED!, and seemingly nobody was tipsy. The place lacked intimacy, which all performers prefer. Lots of oldies were there too so part of me began to think my slightly risque "stand-up routine" might fall flat. The guy's Dad went first and completely bombed, only one admittedly funny joke got laughs so the signs weren't great.
I started off with an awesome C+F line that got only average laughs even though I thought I delivered it perfectly:
"Confident.....witty......manly.....charming.....sexy......that's enough about me, let's talk about *friend*!"
I heard this elsewhere and people cracked up, obviously mine was a tough crowd, not that the joke completely bombed though!
My initial jokes were not comedy gold but still funny to me, but the response wasn't very encouraging. I give credit to my DJ training that I kept compusure and remained confident at this point. Just like any cold approach - it's no easy feat to have a girl or crowd fall for your performance so easily. Things are bound to wrong. When the sh1t hits the fan during my cold approaches I don't let it get to me and ride with the bumps. It was no different during the speech. For some strange reason I got more confident and expressive, just like the thrill of challenge when pursuing a girl is better than an easy victory.
The later jokes were better and people laughed more, but the response never reached the heights of other 21st speeches. Externally i was as cool as a cucumber, but inside I couldn't help but think, "Damn people here I am telling you about how in 7th grade this guy pulled his pants and undies down all the way to his ankles to take a piss at the urinal and all you can do is chuckle?" I remember laughing until my jaw hurt when this happened.
It's just that you see people go for a night out to see a comedian and laugh their heads off at everything, even if it's pretty average. They build up studio audiences and make them laugh extra hard, plus I've seen many a hack get generous laughter in those multi-comedian comedy festival shows they hold every now and again.
My friend got up next and told me later he was worried based on the response my speech got, which he thought was well-performed. He did have some humorous material, I knew because we went over it earlier in the day. At times, I was laughing audibly even though I'd already heard the punchlines. But according the crowd, he pretty much bombed...i thought I had it hard but sh1t, this was VERY harsh of them.
Have people slowly lost their senses of humour? I find almost anything funny but many new people I meet these days just seem incredibly dour.
