Intelligence Backfired on me

[onthepath]

hi guys
i just met this cool new girl who recently transferred to my degree (and it's pretty hard) and we got to talking. and without thinking, (i thought this was just apart of my do'nt care attitude) i started talking about how easy some of the subjects were, and even though i do'nt study much at all i'm gonna go fine and get my passes etc. and i kept teasing her about how she was complaining that it was hard, but i think i may have genuinely hurt her a bit

she became quieter, so i changed the subject and made her laugh a few times. but i think i was a little too arrogant.

anyway, i'm gonna have to see this girl quite often - we're even in the same tutorial

how can i fix things? i do'nt want to seduce her, or anything like that, but i'd like things to be civil and friendly

 

[DJnoob]

the way I would tease her would be like this:

For example she got a good grade on a test or something, I'd say to her somethign like, "you shouldve let me borrow that cheat sheet of yours" then add a smile

or if she got a bad, id say something like:
"you see, this is what happens when you forget to bring your cheat sheet" then add a smile after you say that

 

[medjaun]

I wouldnt worry about it since you said you dont want to seduce her. Just be a bit nicer to her next time and I'm sure things will be fine.

 

[MindOverMatter]

bragging IS NOT confidence.
bragging = BAD
confidence = GOOD

 

[belividere]

learn to distinguish the fine line that separates what people consider funny vs. insulting and confidence vs. arrogance.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by onthepath
hi guys
i just met this cool new girl who recently transferred to my degree (and it's pretty hard) and we got to talking. and without thinking, (i thought this was just apart of my do'nt care attitude) i started talking about how easy some of the subjects were, and even though i do'nt study much at all i'm gonna go fine and get my passes etc. and i kept teasing her about how she was complaining that it was hard, but i think i may have genuinely hurt her a bit

she became quieter, so i changed the subject and made her laugh a few times. but i think i was a little too arrogant.

anyway, i'm gonna have to see this girl quite often - we're even in the same tutorial

how can i fix things? i do'nt want to seduce her, or anything like that, but i'd like things to be civil and friendly

For someone so intelligent you missed the mark. It wasn't your intelligence that rebuffed her, it was your arrogance. Plus you could have offered your intelligence to assist her if she felt overwhelmed but instead you continued to ridicule her and make her feel even more insecure.

Did you realize that her accomplishing this has a direct bearing on her future? Either apologize for your your actions or leave her alone.

Alright, I'm done with my rant...

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by MindOverMatter
bragging IS NOT confidence.
bragging = BAD
confidence = GOOD

Exactly. You were bragging and she probably got turned off. Confidence is attractive, arrogance/bragging is not. There is a VERY fine line between these two concepts.

I knew a guy just like you. Came into university with like a 98% average and a head as big as a hot-air balloon.

Two years later he failed out of my program.

 

[smoke city]

Right, Francisco.

Onthepath--you acted like a wussy, and that's why she's turned off. Boasting about how "easily" you are "going to" get good grades is not showing a "don't care" attitude--to me it sounds more insecure and eager to impress. What do you have to prove to anybody? Let me add something to what the others said:

women don't give a rat's ass how smart you are, or how smart you think you are. They only care about how you make them FEEL. If you make her feel good inside, then she will see your intelligence as an asset--if not, she will call you arrogant or "just book smart" and you'll be lucky if she even wants to STUDY with you.

You want to seem confident and charming? Study with her, and SHOW her how "intelligent" you are (i.e. don't try to convince her by bragging about your grades)...and at the end, thank HER for helping YOU.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by smoke city
...
women don't give a rat's ass how smart you are, or how smart you think you are. They only care about how you make them FEEL. ...

Read this out loud several times!!! We're talking about women here, it is all about them and their security.

You can have all of the intelligence or money in the world but it won't do you jack if the woman doesn't feel secure around you. We've seen it in marriages all the time, a woman marries a man with means because he thought he was offering her security. In the end she finds out that he's an insecure @sshole using his means to boost his own ego. She leaves him and takes half his sh1t! NOW she has security (his sh1t) because that was all he could give her.

[rant=on]
The stupid thing about this entire situation is when guys think that they can impress women with the same BS that they use around their buds. WOMEN ARE FVCKING DIFFERENT! Stop acting as if they are guys!
[/rant]