TooColdUlrick
Master Don Juan
i got a couple of PMs regarding my online activities and picking 20-something hotties online.
here's my deal...i have plenty of opportunities with women from my teaching and consulting and related activities. but there are times where i put in a lot of hours. A LOT! like 100 hour weeks sometimes. but usually 60 plus teaching, which is also a lot. i simply do not have the time to waste on stupid fukking chicks playing games. i'm taking some well deserved time off though.
one thing that i have lost in my old age is PATIENCE! whenever a chick starts spewing extra crap at me, bye bye. there's another one around the corner who won't.
thus, online is a pretty efficient means when i'm pulling hours (i'm taking time off right now
). quite frankly, even when i'm not.
do to these constraints i have become quite good at screening, both online and off. i've been teaching exec mgmt for 10 years and some high level consulting for 15. i can get a good read on people pretty fast. for both online and off, it's pretty much the same process. but online, there are some distinct advantages, especially with IM.
first thing to do is get Trillian as your IM client. it can handle yahoo!, MSN Messenger, AOL, ICQ, and IRC--all at the same time. this is very convenient, since you have all of those platforms available to you (e.g. chicks use different ones, but you are using one, Trillian, for all of your accounts). furthermore, you can have multiple usernames for each of those platforms. very nice if you are a pervert. i've got three yahoo usernames and am "logged" into each at the same time via Trillian--as well as the others.
okay...
needless to say, get her on IM asap. from match.com, yahoo, myspace, where ever you met her. typically however, you've flipped some short emails, AND you know she meets your other criteria, AND you've seen what she looks like, etc.
contrary to what others say about getting the number asap and meeting her asap, i prefer to chat her up for a while. like i said, i ain't wasting my time on three dates, only to find out we're not right together. i would prefer to figure that out as efficiently as possible. hence, the IM avenue.
here is what i am screening for, or how i direct the convo.
1. can this chick fukking spell and can she formulate semi-complex thoughts? as far as hitting dumb chicks, yeah they're ok to fukk, but been there done that. IM is perfect for this.
2. dOez sHe rIte LiKe tHiz? if so, bye bye. she's got the mentality of a 13 year old. i can handle the occasional, "lol...u instead of you...brb..." etc lingo.
3. does she engage? in other words, can she go with the flow and engage in an actual convo. if so, chances are she can in person. roughly, is it a 50/50 engagement that i'm looking for.
4. does she have a sense of humor? i'll throw out crazy stuff, off the wall stuff, somewhat unique stuff, to see her vibe on the humor front, and if it's relatively consistent with mine. if she counters with something witty herself, BIG BONUS POINTS!
again, i'm seeing if she's smart and funny and has a certain wit about her.
5. keep it light, funny, and witty. but i also don't shy away from controversial stuff. i want to see if she how she reacts to it.
6. take risks. many o' times, i've said, "you liar", "shut up", "pizz off", call her a biatch, etc...don't lay it on heavy and keep it light, but basically you are doing some more screening on whether she's a chick like this Oblivious chick in here. BONUS POINTS if she snaps back at me with a "fukk you" or something, provided it's in a joking way. love it. dig it.
at some point i will call her baby cakes, sweetie pie, honey or similar. one simple reason...to see if she's a feminazi biatch. if she reacts unfavorably, as in "dont call me sweetie pie", i eject immediately.
me: wouldn't you like to know, sweetie pie.
her: don't call me sweetie pie
me: good bye
she failed that test miserably. like the AFC's here, she didn't even know it was a test! onto the next
7. be respectful! okay, i know this is contrary to what i've just said, but yes you can be respectful and ****y & funny (i hate that cliche C&F 'routine' but it's true).
8. take her on a rollercoaster ride. sex talk, light stuff, humor. then something relatively serious. sometimes just ignore what she's saying and change the subject.
direct it to where YOU want it to go. of course, most chicks love this--you are controlling the situation. easy as pie to do via IM.
9. as soon as i can, without coming off as a creep, dive into sex talk. go easy at first to test the waters. and if she passes this "test", escalate it--BIG TIME. example...
me: guess what?
her: what?
me: mr. happy is moving around
me: wtf?
her: oh reeeeeaaallly?
game on!
of all the chicks i've bagged whom i've met online, it has gone down this way. nasty dirty filthy sex talk. i can say without reservation, that i am very good at moving it in this direction.
the reasons for doing this are: 1) i am not going to bother with a chick that is icy, in bed or out; 2) sense of humor and not thin skinned; 3) get her horny as hell.
10. DO NOT BECOME HER PENPAL!!! some chicks just want a penpal, especially so with the sex talk. don't get sucked into that Matrix. if she gives too much resistance to meeting or the digits, eject. but eject "nicely", as in "all's cool...i'm not here to be your penpal...you know how to get back to me...take care"
if she passes my 'tests', then no. 9 almost naturally comes into play. there is most likey a great rapport and you can therefore pull it off. but nevertheless, you have to be a bit careful, or wise, about it.
it might sound more complicated than it is, but nowadays for me, it's boom...boom...boom....straight to the sex talk. sometimes almost instantly, sometimes after some dialog.
and of course, close the deal with a meeting because that's the whole point, duh. don't rush it though. remember, a lot of chicks are doing IM for the exact reason that you are! to screen YOUR ASS! that is perfectly fine. sometimes i talk with them over the phone before hand, sometimes i don't.
look at it this way...it's like foreplay leading to hot sex. use IM to warm her up...tease her...play with her...get her all wet in the head with your dazzling rapport...a good communication channel...a good vibe, sexual and otherwise. this is what women love, right? you can pull it off online! trust me, i've had chicks say, "i'm so fukking wet right now" right in the IM chat.
GAME ON!
and lastly, for god's sake, do not rely on the online stuff as your principle means. but by the same token, practice always makes perfect, and this is becoming more and more of an accepted, in fact preferred, medium.
(as my phone rings right now, and the pic of the very hot bare-ass shot that i assigned to a very hot 24 year old comes up who i met off of yahoo chat. yeah, i took a pic of her bare ass with my phone cam as her caller id pic)
here's my deal...i have plenty of opportunities with women from my teaching and consulting and related activities. but there are times where i put in a lot of hours. A LOT! like 100 hour weeks sometimes. but usually 60 plus teaching, which is also a lot. i simply do not have the time to waste on stupid fukking chicks playing games. i'm taking some well deserved time off though.
one thing that i have lost in my old age is PATIENCE! whenever a chick starts spewing extra crap at me, bye bye. there's another one around the corner who won't.
thus, online is a pretty efficient means when i'm pulling hours (i'm taking time off right now
). quite frankly, even when i'm not.do to these constraints i have become quite good at screening, both online and off. i've been teaching exec mgmt for 10 years and some high level consulting for 15. i can get a good read on people pretty fast. for both online and off, it's pretty much the same process. but online, there are some distinct advantages, especially with IM.
first thing to do is get Trillian as your IM client. it can handle yahoo!, MSN Messenger, AOL, ICQ, and IRC--all at the same time. this is very convenient, since you have all of those platforms available to you (e.g. chicks use different ones, but you are using one, Trillian, for all of your accounts). furthermore, you can have multiple usernames for each of those platforms. very nice if you are a pervert
. i've got three yahoo usernames and am "logged" into each at the same time via Trillian--as well as the others.okay...
needless to say, get her on IM asap. from match.com, yahoo, myspace, where ever you met her. typically however, you've flipped some short emails, AND you know she meets your other criteria, AND you've seen what she looks like, etc.
contrary to what others say about getting the number asap and meeting her asap, i prefer to chat her up for a while. like i said, i ain't wasting my time on three dates, only to find out we're not right together. i would prefer to figure that out as efficiently as possible. hence, the IM avenue.
here is what i am screening for, or how i direct the convo.
1. can this chick fukking spell and can she formulate semi-complex thoughts? as far as hitting dumb chicks, yeah they're ok to fukk, but been there done that. IM is perfect for this.
2. dOez sHe rIte LiKe tHiz? if so, bye bye. she's got the mentality of a 13 year old. i can handle the occasional, "lol...u instead of you...brb..." etc lingo.
3. does she engage? in other words, can she go with the flow and engage in an actual convo. if so, chances are she can in person. roughly, is it a 50/50 engagement that i'm looking for.
4. does she have a sense of humor? i'll throw out crazy stuff, off the wall stuff, somewhat unique stuff, to see her vibe on the humor front, and if it's relatively consistent with mine. if she counters with something witty herself, BIG BONUS POINTS!
again, i'm seeing if she's smart and funny and has a certain wit about her.
5. keep it light, funny, and witty. but i also don't shy away from controversial stuff. i want to see if she how she reacts to it.
6. take risks. many o' times, i've said, "you liar", "shut up", "pizz off", call her a biatch, etc...don't lay it on heavy and keep it light, but basically you are doing some more screening on whether she's a chick like this Oblivious chick in here. BONUS POINTS if she snaps back at me with a "fukk you" or something, provided it's in a joking way. love it. dig it.
at some point i will call her baby cakes, sweetie pie, honey or similar. one simple reason...to see if she's a feminazi biatch. if she reacts unfavorably, as in "dont call me sweetie pie", i eject immediately.
me: wouldn't you like to know, sweetie pie.
her: don't call me sweetie pie
me: good bye
she failed that test miserably. like the AFC's here, she didn't even know it was a test! onto the next
7. be respectful! okay, i know this is contrary to what i've just said, but yes you can be respectful and ****y & funny (i hate that cliche C&F 'routine' but it's true).
8. take her on a rollercoaster ride. sex talk, light stuff, humor. then something relatively serious. sometimes just ignore what she's saying and change the subject.
direct it to where YOU want it to go. of course, most chicks love this--you are controlling the situation. easy as pie to do via IM.
9. as soon as i can, without coming off as a creep, dive into sex talk. go easy at first to test the waters. and if she passes this "test", escalate it--BIG TIME. example...
me: guess what?
her: what?
me: mr. happy is moving around
me: wtf?
her: oh reeeeeaaallly?
game on!
of all the chicks i've bagged whom i've met online, it has gone down this way. nasty dirty filthy sex talk. i can say without reservation, that i am very good at moving it in this direction.
the reasons for doing this are: 1) i am not going to bother with a chick that is icy, in bed or out; 2) sense of humor and not thin skinned; 3) get her horny as hell.
10. DO NOT BECOME HER PENPAL!!! some chicks just want a penpal, especially so with the sex talk. don't get sucked into that Matrix. if she gives too much resistance to meeting or the digits, eject. but eject "nicely", as in "all's cool...i'm not here to be your penpal...you know how to get back to me...take care"
if she passes my 'tests', then no. 9 almost naturally comes into play. there is most likey a great rapport and you can therefore pull it off. but nevertheless, you have to be a bit careful, or wise, about it.
it might sound more complicated than it is, but nowadays for me, it's boom...boom...boom....straight to the sex talk. sometimes almost instantly, sometimes after some dialog.
and of course, close the deal with a meeting because that's the whole point, duh. don't rush it though. remember, a lot of chicks are doing IM for the exact reason that you are! to screen YOUR ASS! that is perfectly fine. sometimes i talk with them over the phone before hand, sometimes i don't.
look at it this way...it's like foreplay leading to hot sex. use IM to warm her up...tease her...play with her...get her all wet in the head with your dazzling rapport...a good communication channel...a good vibe, sexual and otherwise. this is what women love, right? you can pull it off online! trust me, i've had chicks say, "i'm so fukking wet right now" right in the IM chat.
GAME ON!
and lastly, for god's sake, do not rely on the online stuff as your principle means. but by the same token, practice always makes perfect, and this is becoming more and more of an accepted, in fact preferred, medium.
(as my phone rings right now, and the pic of the very hot bare-ass shot that i assigned to a very hot 24 year old comes up who i met off of yahoo chat. yeah, i took a pic of her bare ass with my phone cam as her caller id pic
)
