Indictment of the current dating climate

[TomSwift]

So I'm at my favorite coffee shop this weekend and I happen to sit next to three young women engrossed in a conversation about dating. I figured it would be prudent of me to listen in for some juicy insider information to share.

I wish I hadn't.

Each of them, in turn, spewed out their insanely long and convoluted laundry list of criteria they want in a man. Some of the better ones (with commentary):

1) he can't be obsessed with working out or own his own gym (excuse me, what??)
2) he has to be between 5'5" and 6'2" (so if he's perfect in every other category but 6'4", he's off the list?)
3) has to have a job (so that between-jobs structural engineer with a 100k+ income potential is out too?)
4) has to love to cook (so him taking you to gourmet restaurants every night is a strong negative?)
5) has to love dogs (what about cats? or ferrets?)
6) must love to travel, and road trips don't count (HAHA...road trips don't count? Oh, I get it. He must take you to Europe.)
7) has to live at least two states away from his parents (I'm guessing this is so he has nowhere to escape to when you threaten to cut his balls off)

and the kicker:
8) his last name must contain more than 4 letters (I kid you not! One of them mentioned Brad Pitt, and the other said "Pitt doesn't sound sophisticated enough.")

Toward the end of their converastion a woman sitting at another table leaned over and said, "You know, I have a neice who thinks the exact same way you all do. She's pushing 50, never been married, and has 12 cats. Good luck!" I laughed out loud at this and received three solid glares in return.

I blame Oprah.

 

[Serialized3]

Yeah but that's kind of like me saying I prefer to date an educated/sophisticated 22 year old 5'9" virgin with C cups and a great ass.

Doesn't mean I won't date/sleep with a 5'5" girl with B cups and too many tattoos that barely passed community college. She's still gotta have a nice ass though.

Put those girls in a social situation with a guy who's within a point or two of her looks (upwards preferably) and a solid handle of game and the panties will fly off before they can even ask how many times he's been to Florence.

 

[f283000]

Put those girls in a social situation with a guy who's within a point or two of her looks (upwards preferably) and a solid handle of game and the panties will fly off before they can even ask how many times he's been to Florence.

Very true. Although what's sad is that these shallow and worthless excuses for human beings is what many men have to chose for possible wives.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Here's the good news: Women's standards crumble easily given the right incentives.

A woman’s standards are like a house of cards: kick out one from the bottom and the whole edifice crashes down. Never assume what a woman says - even amongst her girlfriends - is any proof of her motivation. A woman's behavior is the only verifiable proof of intent.

 

[Robert28]

So I'm at my favorite coffee shop this weekend and I happen to sit next to three young women engrossed in a conversation about dating. I figured it would be prudent of me to listen in for some juicy insider information to share.

I wish I hadn't.

Each of them, in turn, spewed out their insanely long and convoluted laundry list of criteria they want in a man. Some of the better ones (with commentary):

1) he can't be obsessed with working out or own his own gym (excuse me, what??)
2) he has to be between 5'5" and 6'2" (so if he's perfect in every other category but 6'4", he's off the list?)
3) has to have a job (so that between-jobs structural engineer with a 100k+ income potential is out too?)
4) has to love to cook (so him taking you to gourmet restaurants every night is a strong negative?)
5) has to love dogs (what about cats? or ferrets?)
6) must love to travel, and road trips don't count (HAHA...road trips don't count? Oh, I get it. He must take you to Europe.)
7) has to live at least two states away from his parents (I'm guessing this is so he has nowhere to escape to when you threaten to cut his balls off)

and the kicker:
8) his last name must contain more than 4 letters (I kid you not! One of them mentioned Brad Pitt, and the other said "Pitt doesn't sound sophisticated enough.")

Toward the end of their converastion a woman sitting at another table leaned over and said, "You know, I have a neice who thinks the exact same way you all do. She's pushing 50, never been married, and has 12 cats. Good luck!" I laughed out loud at this and received three solid glares in return.

I blame Oprah.

i bet you everything i own that if any the 3 met a guy EXACTLY like that they wouldn't be interested in him, or dump him within a few weeks. women go for the opposite of what they say they want. "i want a nice guy" ring a bell to anyone? i rest my case. women are stupid, they have no clue what they want.

 

[Serialized3]

Very true. Although what's sad is that these shallow and worthless excuses for human beings is what many men have to chose for possible wives.

See my biggest condemnation of the dating climate is that it is blatantly obvious that men are fairly interchangeable to women. A boyfriend is more of a role than a person. Just another accessory for a woman's arm, to be discarded and replaced when he's become out of fashion (boring).

Men truly are becoming more and more expendable (cue Roissy and his biomechanical/daddy state arguments).

I'm certain this holds true in the way that men relate to women. Many of us, especially PUAs and natural players consider many women to be interchangeable sex outlets. However, any woman that is down for one-night stands and casual sex should never complain that she is being "used", no matter how much she regrets it later.

 

[Serialized3]

Could not agree more.

Cut the porn and you will be attracted to women that are 6's and 7's that are MUCH more likely to have good personalities.

On the flipside the 6s and 7s are more likely to have a lot more dating experience (read: emotional baggage due to contact with lots of cocks) and are more prone to cheating because of self-esteem issues. Beautiful people, statistically, tend to be better adjusted socially and psychologically.

I honestly think as long as you're an attractive man, the 8/9/10's are a better bet. I'm working on becoming more attractive so I can get them with higher success rates.

 

[Knight's Cross]

Serialized is close to what I used to see in DC when I was dating like 2 or 3 at a time. If I ever heard the words,"I want a man that compliments me". My next line was,"check please". I'm not talking about a girl that wanted compliments, as in I appreciated her looks, style etc. No what I'm talking about is the girl that says this and means she sees a man as something that rounds out her wardrobe, shoes, or pocketbook. Some of my dates were crafty about how they said it, but I always walked when I heard those words. They didn't want a boyfriend, they wanted a accessory. Believe me when I type this, if you ever hear a new woman say something akin to that, you'll be treated soon enough like she treats her earings.
KC

 

[romangod]

5) has to love dogs


This one I agree with and am surprised it was one of the criteria. That's on my list for women.



Cheers!

 

[Robert28]

5) has to love dogs


This one I agree with and am surprised it was one of the criteria. That's on my list for women.



Cheers!

don't be fooled by this. she's talking about her 3pound lap dog that she carries around in her purse. she will hate your english bulldog, lab, german sheppard, etc.

 

[MatureDJ]

Toward the end of their converastion a woman sitting at another table leaned over and said, "You know, I have a neice who thinks the exact same way you all do. She's pushing 50, never been married, and has 12 cats. Good luck!" I laughed out loud at this and received three solid glares in return.

I love it!

:woo: :woo: :woo:

 

[zekko]

1) he can't be obsessed with working out or own his own gym (excuse me, what??)

I could see this actually. Girls want their guys to be in good shape, but if they're too obsessive about bodybuilding, they can come off as having huge egos and being totally stuck on themselves. And selfish.

By the way, I was driving by the gym the other day and this dude was going in, he looked like he was pretty roided up. I gave him a "yeah, I'd kick your ass" look, just because I'm a comptetitive male, and I was safe in my car lol.
Man, did he glare at me! He looked like he wanted to tear my head off. Dude either had a lot of testosterone coursing through him or he really was roiding. I always found that a lot of really heavy lifting tended to make me aggressive also.

 

[Strelok]

I could see this actually. Girls want their guys to be in good shape, but if they're too obsessive about bodybuilding, they can come off as having huge egos and being totally stuck on themselves. And selfish.

By the way, I was driving by the gym the other day and this dude was going in, he looked like he was pretty roided up. I gave him a "yeah, I'd kick your ass" look, just because I'm a comptetitive male, and I was safe in my car lol.
Man, did he glare at me! He looked like he wanted to tear my head off. Dude either had a lot of testosterone coursing through him or he really was roiding. I always found that a lot of really heavy lifting tended to make me aggressive also.

Same here it makes me aggressive and very intolerant to other people,I don't think it's actually rage I think that the same way we push our body outside the standard condition,our mind follow and get rid of past barriers.
I mean we all want to kick some people not only after weights it's just that we can keep control usually.

 

[Die Hard]

I could see this actually. Girls want their guys to be in good shape, but if they're too obsessive about bodybuilding, they can come off as having huge egos and being totally stuck on themselves. And selfish.

Huge egos and selfishness? I think there's another reason why they don't like a guy being too obsessive about bodybuilding... When a guy is being too obsessive about his looks, it suggests he is insecure and lacks confidence. She'll feel such a guy is acting just like she is when she is standing in front of the mirror, checking if her a$$ looks fat in this particular dress... Guys aren't supposed to act like that.

Being obsessed with your looks is:

A: Indicative of being insecure about yourself.
B: Not masculine, it's something women are supposed to do, not men.

 

[Solomon]

I really think that most hot women are crazy. They rely on their looks too much and since we are mostly drawn to them, they can treat us like dirt and get away with it.

I'd rather be alone than date or marry another ex-cheerleader. Shallow, money grubbing and infantile. Maybe we should seek intellect and character instead of women with boob jobs and great looks?

The problem is that I call the Chris Rock **** effect

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMiyg87UhL4

I talked to a friend of mine who is probably 5-6 in looks, not super hot. If she lost some weight she easily could be a 7 or 8. I asked her How many times do you get hit on when you go out?"

"oh easily 30 times, with guys offering to buy me drinks all the time" she said​

My point is that women have waaaaaaaaaaay more options then the average guy. I know for a fact that I seldom get hit on when I go out(blame the weight gain eeeh) and if I do it's usually cause a girl wants me to buy her a sucker from her bachlorette party

These women are everywhere that's why there is a new thread up every other week. Their out on the field too, the best solution is get your body right, stay spiritually grounded, get your money right but I think Traveller is right, its time for guys (espeically on here) to start seeking women of higher character and intellect instead of just looks

 

[synergy1]

we have a venue our group of friends would hit up, and the ratio is higher on the guy scale. To give you an idea of the climate when we go out, which of the two personas I mention do you think would have more success; an intelligent successful person who is in shape , or an out of shape mean person with no real prospects in life nor any real intellectual merit? Ah , trick question! You don't know what the sex of either person is! Well, as it turns out, the second person I described is a women and she gets WAY more opportunities than myself or friends in similar situations.

This is the dating world, this is how women get treated today. Women don't have to do half the leg work men to for certain perks in life. Thats cool. However, its also a double edged sword. When you base ones life on the easy parts and begin to accept it as fact, when things turn around, one will be ill-equipped to handle it later - enter bitter older women. Leveraging something as ephemeral as looks is a fools gambit. There is a great story in 48 laws of power that discusses exactly this - the female protagonist understands this concept very well.

A women with only guy friends who doesn't get along with girls sets off a trillion red flags in my book. I covered this in other posts, but feel it is one of the most important thing in dissecting character of a person you might want to get into an LTR with. See how people interact with people they don't need anything from, and you can learn more in those moments than you can seeing someone interact with someone whom they seek something from over a span of years.