*Independent man* - support thread

[Gro0ver]

Yo SS,

I'm making this thread for all the guys including myself who have either been in an LTR or a series of relationships that haven't worked out and are realising that they really need to be alone for awhile.

Personally, I'm finding it difficult. I haven't been single for more than a couple of months since i was 16, I'm now almost 27 and I'm finding the prospect of being alone for a year or two a bit daunting and pretty unexciting although I'm sure this is not the reality.

More details in this thread: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=195054

I've always considered myself an independent person, not "clingy" or "needy", but it's only when you are left alone do you realise what you are missing from your old life. Intimacy/Sex/a "mindmate" to bounce my thoughts and ideas off of......hard to accept that I need to be without this for awhile.

I spoke to my recent ex the other night (she cleverly goaded me into calling her via texting me and seeming upset abouts something), she seems to want to get back together....I know it's a bad idea, and I won't do it, but I admit I'm tempted....which is stupid because I know it's wrong and would be a waste of time! Is this really what I'm made of deep down? Bleh I thought I was better than this!

So I'm digging in guys, and I'm going to enjoy being single as much as i can...but I might need some support sometimes, so I made this thread so I don't need to make a new one each time!

Could do with some advice on maximising this time in my life...:woo: I'm sure there's some great things....just can't see it right now.

 

[SoSuave666]

Dude, I don't blame you for wanting to be single. I love the single life. The majority of my time has been spent being single. I know what you mean by feeling a "void" in your life some times, but trust me it passes. As far as sex goes, you can get just as much secks (with different chicks no less) while single as you can while dating. I've never been much for intimacy, so you're on your own there. I can say I used to have a girlfriend and we were pretty intimate, but it's just not really something I miss all that much. Finally, a "mindmate" as you call it. I like that neologism. Anyway, I bounce ideas off people all the time. Business, future prospects, books, etc. Are women really equipped to handle those kinds of ideas? Or does "mindmate" mean someone who is there only to enforce your own ideas and not have a mind of their own. Like when you are in bed with a chick and she just agrees with everything you say. I dunno, I think having an intelligent conversation with a woman is a complete waste of time. Unless you are talking about books. They can go all day on Twilight, Harry Potter, and 50 Shades of Grey.

Enjoy your independence man, especially at 27. There is no rush at all to get in a relationship. Hell, there is a thread on this forum dedicated to how much easier it is to pick up the 20-something chicks you are looking for at age 30. Learn to be single. You might actually like it more than you think. You have so much time now to work on your career or your future. Take advantage of that. In the end, the only person you have to answer to is yourself. If you can do that, whether in a relationship or not, you'll be happy.

As for the ex. I don't know yalls story, but if you ended on good terms I think it can work out. I know a bunch of people who break up with their boyfriend/girlfriend all the time. Then 4 months later they are back together. These dudes aren't really beta either. Some times they initiate the breakup. If you think it can work, go for it. You're still young enough where you can make some mistakes bro.

Good luck

 

[SgtSplacker]

I just got out of being in several relationships for the last 10 years back to back. One for 7 years, one for 3, and a little psycho thing I had going there. Dude, just enjoy it, enjoy your time alone. This is a learning experience for you, treat it like that. Try doing more stuff solo, take dance lessons, go to bars by yourself, maybe movies too. Resurrect those old hobbies, learn something new. It's too easy to get stuck in wanting to be single when you're not, then wanting to be in a relationship when you're not. Screw that noise, have fun now.