This Saturday, I'm at a birthday party for a buddy who's turning 25. Most people there are 20-30, half are stoned on E and the shooters and joints are ever present. I bring opium-laced hash straight from Cambodia to add to the mix. I know about half of the 60-70 of the people in the house and a dozen of them (fellow artists/musicians) are my closest friends nowadays.
So, I party away, play some drums and theremin with the rotating crew who are pounding out sweet music in the living room and end up sitting on the floor at the coffee table playing a card game with a buddy and two girls whom I do not know. They all knew the rules (it had a Snap component, where you had to slap your hand down first to claim the pile if a pair surfaced) but I can't even tell you the name of the game because I was instantly mesmerized by this gorgeous creature of a girl, sitting across from me on the couch, who had the most angelic countenance and innate, graceful beauty one could ever hope to encounter.
So, we play the card game and every time I glance at her amazing almond-shaped eyes she is looking right at me and smiling, but I'm distracted so I get up to go smoke, or talk to friends, or roll a joint, but I keep coming back to the card game and sitting on the floor in front of this girl who constantly, silently, stares into my eyes with a knowing smile, almost a smirk, on her lips.
So, eventually I say lets stop playing cards because I want to talk to you. I sit down beside her on the couch, she takes my hand, and immediately starts to tell me about her favorite authors and how they've influenced her thought and her life. Hemingway, Huxley, Joyce, Shakespeare, Faust, Plato... the films she mentioned, and the music and art she cared for, were like a diary of my intellectual life, and her words made my heart soar.
Yet, I was wary. She asked for my cell number twice, and I said "Well, we'll see." (because I was basically awed by her and was, frankly, feeling a little out-classed). In an admittedly semi-drunken stupor, I mentioned the freckles at the bridge of her nose and she quoted a 17th century French poet to me, something about "freckles on a woman's perfect skin are the stars of heaven on a moonless night". I was thunderstruck by her knowledge and beauty - she was playing my heart and mind like a harp and Steinway combo.
So, its about 4 am and the party is going strong but she and her girlfriend, who is 24 (I found out later), are leaving. I instantly realize I can't let the most interesting person I've come across in years just walk out the door, so I go over and give her my phone and tell her she can put her number in it. She asks me to call today (Tuesday) so we can go for coffee together. I say "Yeah, maybe" and then, kinda out of the blue in a strangely psychic way, I ask her how old she is. I'm expecting she's 20-23, but I'm already thinking of her as much more mature than me and someone I could have wonderful adventures with.
She says: "Fifteen, but I'll be sixteen on Tuesday."
I don't think she was lying.
Today (Tuesday) I called her. She immediately started telling me about dreaming about me last night (OK, I admit it, I dreamed about her too, but I didn't tell her that) and how she was sitting in the washroom of her girlfriend's house with the door locked, waiting for me to call. I also found out that she lives with her girlfriend on the weekend but at her parents house during the week - how else could a 15 year old be at a party in the wee hours of the morning with people dancing naked and people ****ing on the couch beside us?
Anyway, I didn't let her meet me today, but I did promise to call her for the weekend.
I know I'm not a pedophile - I just like girls and they seem to like me. I have more women in my life than any man deserves and have no problem finding romance and fun with women I'm attracted to - but, this girl interests me and excites me like few others have ever done - and I'm not getting younger.
So, I'm not looking for SIIHP, or "this threads sucks without pics". I need you people to really reflect on this (like I'm doing, believe me!) and tell me what you think is right and good. I already know we can be wonderful friends, and I know I can diffuse the sexual thing if that seems the appropriate thing to do.
Still, she's ****ing fifteen! I'm imagining meeting her parents when I pick her up some time and telling her dad (who must be younger than me) not to worry because I had a vasectomy after my second kid was born.
So, I party away, play some drums and theremin with the rotating crew who are pounding out sweet music in the living room and end up sitting on the floor at the coffee table playing a card game with a buddy and two girls whom I do not know. They all knew the rules (it had a Snap component, where you had to slap your hand down first to claim the pile if a pair surfaced) but I can't even tell you the name of the game because I was instantly mesmerized by this gorgeous creature of a girl, sitting across from me on the couch, who had the most angelic countenance and innate, graceful beauty one could ever hope to encounter.
So, we play the card game and every time I glance at her amazing almond-shaped eyes she is looking right at me and smiling, but I'm distracted so I get up to go smoke, or talk to friends, or roll a joint, but I keep coming back to the card game and sitting on the floor in front of this girl who constantly, silently, stares into my eyes with a knowing smile, almost a smirk, on her lips.
So, eventually I say lets stop playing cards because I want to talk to you. I sit down beside her on the couch, she takes my hand, and immediately starts to tell me about her favorite authors and how they've influenced her thought and her life. Hemingway, Huxley, Joyce, Shakespeare, Faust, Plato... the films she mentioned, and the music and art she cared for, were like a diary of my intellectual life, and her words made my heart soar.
Yet, I was wary. She asked for my cell number twice, and I said "Well, we'll see." (because I was basically awed by her and was, frankly, feeling a little out-classed). In an admittedly semi-drunken stupor, I mentioned the freckles at the bridge of her nose and she quoted a 17th century French poet to me, something about "freckles on a woman's perfect skin are the stars of heaven on a moonless night". I was thunderstruck by her knowledge and beauty - she was playing my heart and mind like a harp and Steinway combo.
So, its about 4 am and the party is going strong but she and her girlfriend, who is 24 (I found out later), are leaving. I instantly realize I can't let the most interesting person I've come across in years just walk out the door, so I go over and give her my phone and tell her she can put her number in it. She asks me to call today (Tuesday) so we can go for coffee together. I say "Yeah, maybe" and then, kinda out of the blue in a strangely psychic way, I ask her how old she is. I'm expecting she's 20-23, but I'm already thinking of her as much more mature than me and someone I could have wonderful adventures with.
She says: "Fifteen, but I'll be sixteen on Tuesday."
I don't think she was lying.
Today (Tuesday) I called her. She immediately started telling me about dreaming about me last night (OK, I admit it, I dreamed about her too, but I didn't tell her that) and how she was sitting in the washroom of her girlfriend's house with the door locked, waiting for me to call. I also found out that she lives with her girlfriend on the weekend but at her parents house during the week - how else could a 15 year old be at a party in the wee hours of the morning with people dancing naked and people ****ing on the couch beside us?
Anyway, I didn't let her meet me today, but I did promise to call her for the weekend.
I know I'm not a pedophile - I just like girls and they seem to like me. I have more women in my life than any man deserves and have no problem finding romance and fun with women I'm attracted to - but, this girl interests me and excites me like few others have ever done - and I'm not getting younger.
So, I'm not looking for SIIHP, or "this threads sucks without pics". I need you people to really reflect on this (like I'm doing, believe me!) and tell me what you think is right and good. I already know we can be wonderful friends, and I know I can diffuse the sexual thing if that seems the appropriate thing to do.
Still, she's ****ing fifteen! I'm imagining meeting her parents when I pick her up some time and telling her dad (who must be younger than me) not to worry because I had a vasectomy after my second kid was born.
