Im ****y until i look in the mirror...

KillingTime

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This really sucks, I have bi-polar confidence.
I'm so incredibly confident, ****y, you name it.... no problem talking to women, men whatever. I used to be really shy but i've improved so much over the past year.

Until i look in the mirror. The minute I look in a mirror my confidence goes SO low, i've worked on myself a ton but I'm still just about the opposite of what I want to look like, and I think aside from major surgery there's not much else I can do at this point. I will be really down for about a day, then my confidence will begin to skyrocket again. Naturally I just try to avoid mirrors like the plague, as long as I don't see myself my confidence is sky high and I act all suave.
Does anyone else have this problem though? It doesn't really sound right, but as long as I don't see myself I'm good.
 

Alpine

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Don't tell me, and you've recently been staying up later and developed a taste for warm blood.

Seriously though. You won't get anywhere until you accept your current physical self. There's a slight paradox in that as soon as you accept your physical appearence (which is part of your self perception) you will find it easier to change it.

Whilst you have one image of your 'ideal' self, this comes falling down around you once confirmed as not reality.

Don't attach approval to the way you look, and what you think others may think.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm NOT saying you should not try to improve your appearance and look like a slob. But you've got to accept yourself right now and from this moment on.
 

Jariel

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I have exactly the same problem. I look in the mirror or at photos and I am convinced I'm an ugly guy. Often when I'm out I'll go into public toilets and when I see myself in the mirror it blows my confidence for the rest of the day.

However, all the feedback I get from women (and some men) indicates that I'm actually a good looking guy. In fact, I've recently been scouted for a national modelling competition, which I still find very confusing.

All I can say is never trust your own perception of yourself, especially if you're a perfectionist by nature.
 

Alpine

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Jariel,

That's like these girls who weigh 60lbs and think they're fat. You've got a real body image problem.

Whereas I look in the mirror now and think I'm handsome and everyone tells me, no I'm ugly:D
 
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This thread is jokes. Mans been scouted for a model and he thinks hes ugly. Mans cant look in a mirror...and mans all want women...get a grip on yourself before you even think of getting a grip on a women. lolz.
 

It doesn't matter how good-looking you are, how romantic you are, how funny you are... or anything else. If she doesn't have something INVESTED in you and the relationship, preferably quite a LOT invested, she'll dump you, without even the slightest hesitation, as soon as someone a little more "interesting" comes along.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

jakethasnake

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Originally posted by Alpine
Jariel,

That's like these girls who weigh 60lbs and think they're fat. You've got a real body image problem.

Whereas I look in the mirror now and think I'm handsome and everyone tells me, no I'm ugly:D

Seriously. Jariel sounds deranged. Absolutely demented. No offense buddy. How can one be elligible to model, and think of himself as a piece of shyt ugly turd? :confused:
 

jakethasnake

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Originally posted by KillingTime
This really sucks, I have bi-polar confidence.
I'm so incredibly confident, ****y, you name it.... no problem talking to women, men whatever. I used to be really shy but i've improved so much over the past year.

Until i look in the mirror. The minute I look in a mirror my confidence goes SO low, i've worked on myself a ton but I'm still just about the opposite of what I want to look like, and I think aside from major surgery there's not much else I can do at this point. I will be really down for about a day, then my confidence will begin to skyrocket again. Naturally I just try to avoid mirrors like the plague, as long as I don't see myself my confidence is sky high and I act all suave.
Does anyone else have this problem though? It doesn't really sound right, but as long as I don't see myself I'm good.

Describe to us EXACTLY how you want to look. Start with facial structure, build, weight, etc.


Then describe how you think you look now.


Maybe then we can figure out exactly what you mean. Go on, give it a try.
 

I-am-someone

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Personally, I haven't got a problem with my looks. Just last night a HB9.5 complimented me on my looks while I was bringing her home with her brother :D

Maybe reading the following can help you a bit:
GunWitch Guide
Looks count, though perhaps not as much as is typically presumed. As was discussed in Section 2, women think MUCH like men when it comes to mating.

To illustrate my point on this:

Imagine being alone in a room, with an ugly or mediocre woman. She comes over and lays her head on your lap. You hear her whisper, "I like you a lot". She smiles, comes up, and kisses you. Your friends are not there, and they will never know. You are getting more turned on as she rubs your upper legs, inching closer, closer, and closer to your crotch. What are you gonna do to stop her? Answer this only to yourself - not to friends or people who could judge you - and you’ll know that you’d likely have sex with her. ONLY in the case that she is nearly deformed, smells bad, or is morbidly obese ect., would you be likely to turn her down. Essentially, you’d only turn her down if she failed turn you on at that time.

To further explicate, consider the following. Not an exact science by any means, but perhaps a rough model of what you can generally expect.

Looks, Effort, and their Interrelation:

Looks scale: -1- being the worst conceivable, and –10- being the best.
Effort scale (amount of women approached and overall drive to ensure sex with them): -1- being utterly rarely, -5- being a few on weekends or acquaintances from social circles, and -10- being at least three new women per day. –1- drive = will say hello to a woman but not much else, -5- will try to get her interested in him until the first sign of trouble or disinterest, -10- will outright make her become angry or verbally reject you 100% before even considering moving on.

Take a guy who is a –1- in looks (perhaps fat, short, hideous face, balding, old, smelly, poorly dressed, etc.), but a -10- in effort. This guy will STILL land women who are -5.5s- once in while, and –3s- frequently.

To explain, allocate 1 total point for every 2 points on the scale, for what you can get with maximum effort. So, if you are a –10- in looks, but only exert a –1- in effort, you can probably still sex -5.5s- (ie. 11 divided by 2) on occasion, and approximately half of that, or -3s-, whenever you are inclined. Eventually you will arrive at someplace in between your –maximum- capacity and your –easy- capacity for your regular quality of women.

I, for instance, am maybe an –8- in looks (short, ok face, good built body, well dressed and groomed), and a –10- in effort. So dividing by two, we allocate 4 points for looks and 5 points for effort, arriving at a 9 at –maximum- capacity, and approx. 5 at –easy- capacity. I have of course gotten some 10s in my day, but that's just the deviation, as women higher than 6 would be for Example Guy #1. So to recap:

Example Guy 1:

-1-LOOKS + -10-EFFORT = 11,

THEREFORE,

MAXIMUM CAPACITY = 5.5, EASY CAPACITY = approx. 3

Gunwitch:

-8-LOOKS + -10-EFFORT = 18,

THEREFORE,

MAXIMUM CAPACITY = 9, EASY CAPACITY = approx. 5

What creates the extra points from effort is that you meet MORE women, so SOME of these women will find even the guy with –1-looks/-10-effort somewhat attractive. Probably the best that he will ever do is a 6 who somehow finds him attractive. Mr –10-looks/-1-effort could go out approaching at a 5.5 in effort and change his whole lot, because he would meet so many more women who would find him attractive, or who have trouble saying no to his advances, but instead he takes the easy ones. His loss. By the way, Mr.-10-looks/-1-effort, and Mr. –1-looks/-10-effort are both REAL people that I know, and it works out about the same for both of them with women. If Mr. –1-looks/-10-effort suddenly stopped meeting and trying to seduce new women, he would probably go to his grave never having had sex again, unless maybe with some chance woman of his low calibre were to come along and make the effort herself.
 

Ken785

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are you skinny or ugly....

if your ugly...well canthelp you there....

But if your skinny....you need to EAT EAT EAT!! me personally i eat at least 5-6 small meals a day. you also need to lift heavy weights at least 5 days a week....
oh yeah.... and some steroids might help a bunch too!!
 

Jariel

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Originally posted by jakethasnake
Seriously. Jariel sounds deranged. Absolutely demented. No offense buddy. How can one be elligible to model, and think of himself as a piece of shyt ugly turd? :confused:
I can't deny that I'm deranged. In fact, when I posed for the modelling shoot I requested not to see the pictures because I knew I wouldn't be able to continue.

I have suffered from symptoms of body dismorphic disorder in the past and this is a more common (mental) illness than most people realise.

There was a thread in the discussion forum on narcissism that covered a lot of this stuff and raised some very interesting points.
 

Lost

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I took that test and im not narcissistic.. but im moderate+ on everything else lol. (especially Avoidant... ie shy. I found out antisocial is not shy.. its quite the opposite. )

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Very High
Dependent: Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
URL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/disorder_information2.html
 

Tempest

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Originally posted by KillingTime
This really sucks, I have bi-polar confidence.
I'm so incredibly confident, ****y, you name it.... no problem talking to women, men whatever. I used to be really shy but i've improved so much over the past year.

Until i look in the mirror. The minute I look in a mirror my confidence goes SO low, i've worked on myself a ton but I'm still just about the opposite of what I want to look like, and I think aside from major surgery there's not much else I can do at this point. I will be really down for about a day, then my confidence will begin to skyrocket again. Naturally I just try to avoid mirrors like the plague, as long as I don't see myself my confidence is sky high and I act all suave.
Does anyone else have this problem though? It doesn't really sound right, but as long as I don't see myself I'm good.
I am the EXACT same way!! I also am dominant and ****y/funny with girls... I'm awesome in that aspect and have it down pat. I also used to be very shy (as you mentioned for yourself) and I have overcome that.

I avoid all cameras, mirrors, or ANYTHING that I will see a reflection of myself. It's sad... I can't take it. Today I got a glimpse of myself at a banquet when I saw a reflection in a trophy. My confidence hit the floor and I get all insecure. There are often times when I get even MORE confident when I look in the mirror and I look really good. I don't know if it's the lighting in the room or if I did my hair differently... but it is making a huge difference. Sometimes I get really insecure about my looks, other times I think I'm the sexiest thing since sliced bread. I do have many girls tell me that I am good looking or above average, and other times have guys tell me that I am unattractive.

Camera's are the worst. I'm terrified of them! Maybe I'm just not that photogenic. I avoid them at all costs, because I look horrible pictures.

I believe I have done all that I can to improve my looks. I've gotten rid of acne, I keep myself well groomed (trimmed bushy eyebrows that I once had), I'm in decent shape, etc...

Anyways, how can I deal with this?
 

MindOverMatter

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Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

Haha, I guess I am self-centered
 

Channel your excited feelings into positive thoughts and behaviors. You will attract women by being enthusiastic, radiating energy, and becoming someone who is fun to be around.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Panda 2000

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A very interesting test, here's my results:
Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low
 

GlutusMaximus86

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Intersting Test:

Paranoid: High
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Very High
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: High
 

CLOONEY

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Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

lol, I was going to answer this thread by saying, when I look in the mirror, my confidence only goes higher! LOL, how appropriate with the results I got!
 

WesCottII

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Paranoid: Low
Schizoid : Very High
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Moderate
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

Damn, i'm bordering on near mental.
 
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