I'm ugly ! I've tried changing my clothes and attitude, nothing works!

[DamHE]

Hi,

Ever since I was a little kid I knew I was not going to be a Brad Pitt but I didn't really care. In around October 2006 the girls in my class did some silly thing where they rate how each guy looks (yes it's superficial) and I found out I got an F. This news shocked me, not because I was trying to pick up a girl but because it's not good to be that ugly. On HotorNot.com I got a 7 or so which went down to a 4.0 about 2 months ago and now I just checked it and it's at 6.5 (keep in mind this is with just a grey shirt and jeans on, not like I was trying to look my best).

Around December I sent my cash into battle. I purchased new shoes, new clothes, decided I was going to stick with really short hair, etc. I changed everything I possibly could for the better. I changed my attitude in class as well - I went from being quiet to talking to everyone and smiling. Recently, in the past week, they did another survey. I expected at least a D- but what did I get? An F.

Now I know it's just a stupid game they are playing but when I take a look in the mirror I think, "You're ugly". I'm still dressing nicely to school and keeping my attitude up but it's hard when you've made absolutely no progress.

What are you supposed to do when you've changed what you can, but it's still not good enough? There's a big black hole when it comes to this subject on the forum, and the DJ bible. I've searched "i'm ugly" but it just brings up posts about ugly girls. Whenever I am on the internet, walking down the street, or at school, I'll see guys who I know look 10x better than me and feel so jealous of them. While I'm busting my ass trying to look good every day all they have to do is throw on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt and girls are all over them.

What am I missing?!

Sorry for the rant by the way but I'm just really confused here. It's not like I'm desperate for a girl but I'm going to be stuck with the way I look for the rest of my life, I don't want to die a lonely old man.

PS - Also I know I shouldn't be getting all worked up about the girls giving me an F or a 6.5 on HotorNot (and yes I know I shouldn't take HotorNot seriously), what I'm worked up about is that I've tried so hard but I'm still failing miserably.

 

[Skilla_Staz]

Pic?

 

[Rata Blanca]

Are you skinny?

 

[BluEyes]

Recently, in the past week, they did another survey. I expected at least a D- but what did I get? An F.

It's hard to change yourself, its twice as hard to change people's first impressions.

They still rate you somewhat by how you used to look, not how you are now. It's just how people/psychology works.

Also, in respect to your hair/facial shape. Do some Google research into what hair looks best on what head. Alot of people see a haircut and think "Daaayum, that's sexxxy." and go get their hair cut in that style, then wonder why it doesn't look as good. Your head shape/facial features are probably different from a haircut you like on somebody else. So take into consideration what looks good as far as your headshape/facial features go.

Just a question...WHY...Why, do you think you are ugly?

Just saying "I'm ugly" is waaay too broad a spectrum for analysis and improvement. Focus it down and tell us what it is about you that you find ugly, and mabye our combined pseudo-wisdom can help.

peace

 

[Docs]

I'm only a 7.2 on HotOrNot, yet I have some girls do a double take (see pic in my profile), or stare me down...literally. Why? Because I catch their Eye Contact, and I don't drop it. What do I wear? A TShirt, Jeans, a Hat and Shoes. That's IT.

Anyways, you'll have to post a picture of yourself for us to get an idea, because I could say you have brocolli on your teeth for all I care!

 

[spesmilitis]

There are lots of thinks you can do to improve your looks. For skin complexion, there is a very good 'get ride of acne today' thread. Not just for acne, but for everything.

IF you don't want to post a pic, list down what features you think are ugly (skinny/fat face, bulgy eyes, bad teeth, acne, physique, ect) and we'll try to give solutions for them.

Btw, how did you find out you get an F? Even if you were the ugliest person in the world, you would only recieve a C. Its courtacy, its regular human nature. Those girls have something against you. High school people are often mean for no reason.

 

[BxPrince24]

Hey, I know I'm not the best looking guy and I've never had the best of luck with women. As far as Hot or Not goes, I got about a 5. something. I say screw it. I feel that I'm attractive and that's all that really matters. I believe that if girls were to rate me, I wouldn't get high numbers, but that's besides the point. The point is that I'm satisfied with my looks and that's what's most important. You just gotta learn to love yourself.

 

[jonwon]

I have no idea why people would get hung up about hot or not, here are a few facts that people do not really factor in.

Hot or Not is frequented with:
People that are much older/yonuger then you, so it is expected from them to not get a decent grade.
It is frequented by people that are on for a laugh and will mark you up or down dependent on there mood.

If brad pit posted on hot or not, there would be men ticking 1 numbers to get his score down, not many but lets look at the women side.

women would mark a hot chick down on those sites out of sheer spite and this would be to a high % i would think.

so regrdless of the outcomes of Hot or Not.

It is clear it is not a tool to judge how attractive one is as its full of holes and will never of no body give an accurate assessment of how hot you are or not.

Worrying about hot or not when the site is clearly a bit of fun, tell me the OP suuffers from LOW SELF ESTEEM the looks are minor when faced with the demon of LSE.

I would focus on sorting out your esteem issues then worrying about some fun site that you are taking far too seriously.

If you want tips on how to start building your esteem up here are a few:

Instead of looking in the mirror and thinking: i am ugly. This is WHAT YOU DO, now for always and i mean always, you look in the mirror and you dont say, you are ugly, you say I AM DAM HOT TODAY, you got that?

You tell yourself your looking GOOD, YOUR THE MAN and YOU LOOK GOOD.

If the demon of i look ugly enters your head, you need to fight this internal demon and force it out and replace it with the angel of SELF RESPECT.

only you can do it, thats a start i think one can imagine the next step:

 

[shaunuk]

Btw, how did you find out you get an F? Even if you were the ugliest person in the world, you would only recieve a C. Its courtacy, its regular human nature. Those girls have something against you. High school people are often mean for no reason.

Spes I reckon hit the nail on the head here. The girls involved here are b1tches and either have some personal beef with you, or they're those typical high school brats who dislike anyone who's not quite as popular as them, etc.. You get my point.

Seriously, just think very straight for a sec bud. Do you imagine any 'nice' or reasonable girl would REALLY give anyone an F? No, because that's just mean to be honest.

This is exactly how things like anorexia start, don't pay any attention to them. Get your arse in the gym and start working out, get yourself a physique, do anything you can to improve yourself (including new clothes etc like you have been doing), start developing more confidence, and you'll begin to see yourself as decent looking. Screw what they think, don't try to make the world fall in love with you

HOWEVER, if you wanna post a pic, we could also post suggestions on hair improvements, etc bud.

-shaun

 

[shaunuk]

If you want tips on how to start building your esteem up here are a few:

Instead of looking in the mirror and thinking: i am ugly. This is WHAT YOU DO, now for always and i mean always, you look in the mirror and you dont say, you are ugly, you say I AM DAM HOT TODAY, you got that?

You tell yourself your looking GOOD, YOUR THE MAN and YOU LOOK GOOD.

If the demon of i look ugly enters your head, you need to fight this internal demon and force it out and replace it with the angel of SELF RESPECT.

only you can do it, thats a start i think one can imagine the next step:

Props to you jon, excellent points. I used to think I was semi-ugly, seriously I did. So I improved my hair and my style (clothes etc), and at the same time, I took real steps to improve my CONFIDENCE. Now, a year later, I'm way more confident, look fashionable, and I *genuinely* believe I'm good looking.

Due to my self-improvement, I *am* much better looking, but it's all a combination of increased self-esteem and confidence, and improving how I look.

When I look in the mirror, I do see myself as pretty good looking now. Develop some awesome confidence, bud, and you will too

-shaun

 

[insidious]

Dude, you're 16.
Adolescence, you're a teen-ager.
'Tis the age of self-doubt, the end of all
that gloriuos crap your family and friends have
spoon fed you all your childhood in order to make
your day sunny. Time for you to create
your own identity, time to be your own man. It will
come slowly and painfully, but it will come.

You are not ugly, my friend, you are a valuable
human being with tons to offer and if you take care
of yourself, physically and mentally, you've got
so many years ahead of you to flourish. One day you
will look back at this and laugh.

And stop listening to those little girls at school you are surrounded with. HS girls and their paper thin shallowness are the antithesis to everything this forum is about. Time to step up and discover your manhood and leave those c&nts behind. You'll meet up with them when they have grown up, in about 10 years

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

What am I missing?!

You mentioned that you've tried changing your attitude, what have you done?

 

[mrRuckus]

Why would changing your clothes or attitude make you not ugly?

Think about it. If some fat, ugly girl dresses in "sexy" clothes does that make her better or worse? It makes me wretch. See myspace

And a hot guy/girl is hot dressed up or dressed down.

So clear up any acne you have, make sure you have a decent haircut, and hit the gym.

And those girls don't mean sh1t. I thought I was below average looking in high school and i never got laid and i was shy then i hit college and suddenly i was a star relatively speaking and i barely changed anything other than not giving a sh1t anymore. Then after college it got even better because i actively improved everything. You have a shot now to start early at 16. Don't waste it. In 2 or 3 years you might even be happy you went through this because it'll have focused you into making yourself a better person.

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

If some fat, ugly girl dresses in "sexy" clothes does that make her better or worse? It makes me wretch. See myspace

Yeah. No kidding.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=26756448
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=77845240
>>> Gotta see this one! http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=77438291

 

[DamHE]

Hi,

I'll try to answer the questions from top to bottom.

No, I'm not skinny and not fat. I have a good muscle build.

I don't have a hairstyle like spikey hair or a mohawk or anything. It's just a bit longer than a crew cut.. Like .5 "..

I really have been trying to improve myself. I've gone to the dermatologist for my (which wasn't that severe) acne and am on oral antibiotics and a topical cream just to stay clear now that I am.

I don't know why the girls in my class would have a grudge against me, they are all on good terms with me? I think the worst point about my face is that I have this huge nose from my dad.

Thanks for the points about HotorNot.. Even though I knew most of them. Also if I went to the mirror and told myself "damn you look hot today" I would be lying to myself. You say I have a self esteem problem, but it's just I know what attractive is and whats not and I'm definately not hot. (not trying to say i might not have one, i think i always put myself down. but i can't help it)

I skipped down to the post which is written like a poem:
So I have to wait for 5 years and then I will become attractive...?

What have I done in regards to my attitude? I started talking to my classmates alot more, not just friends but I made friends with the people who I didn't really speak to before. I started smiling when I spoke. The biggest improvement I made was being able to go up to the front of the class and do my presentation with confidence.

mrRuckus what are you saying? That I should wait for 5 years until I'm in college or I should start doing something now?

Sorry for the long post and if this thread sounds like I'm begging for attention I just want to let you know I'm not. I really want to improve my looks but I've done what I can and don't know what to do anymore. And trust me, if you give me recommendations I will act on them unlike some people here.

 

[spesmilitis]

just post a picture already. . . .

 

[realsmoothie]

Funny... I was watching this movie "The Holiday" (rom-com piece of crap, BTW, but good for watching with the ladies) the other night.

Jack Black was in it as the guy that eventually hooks up with Kate Winslet's character. Now, Jack Black is NOT a good looking guy, but in this movie he's charming as all hell. He's well-dressed, polite, funny, talented (makes scores for movies). Kate Winslet's character goes nuts for him, and even though she's five times hotter than him, it's easy to see why.

I'm not using the movie's story to prove a point... just saying that guys who aren't classically "attractive" can still be viable in the dating arena if they simply do what they can to get themselves out there. It seems that a lot of people who consider themselves unattractive give up... they don't bother to dress well, they don't move on with their careers, etc.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Why would changing your clothes or attitude make you not ugly?

Think about it. If some fat, ugly girl dresses in "sexy" clothes does that make her better or worse? It makes me wretch. See myspace

You'd think that would be apparent but we live in a world where so many people have nothing really going for them so they hope that they can get by on their looks alone. I'm not saying this is the case with this guy but society will make you believe it's true if you don't realize that you have other positive attributes (hopefully).

 

[Quiksilver]

Cosmetic surgery, if you don't like your nose.

My story is the same. I inherited a big honker from my dad, and my sister is talking about getting cosmetic surgery.

I posted awhile back about it, and decided that I don't want cosmetic surgery, atleast not yet.

It's not overly expensive anymore, and if you think a new nose will change your life, then fvck the haters that tell you not to, and go for it. It's your face, don't let others make decisions for you.

-------------

The other more valuable piece of advice is...You have to believe in yourself before others will believe in you. Like, if you look in the mirror and Tell yourself that you're da sh1t, but Think to yourself that you're ugly, then it wont make a difference. You have to Know that you are da sh1t. If you can't convince yourself that you're attractive, how could you ever convince your friends/classmates?

It starts with you buddy. Either come to grips with it and accept it, or go to your nearest cosmetic surgeon and change it.

 

[Mjazz]

dude hot or not is a joke, people just give random ratings. Even I just go on there when bored and give everyone a 1, your probably not even that ugly man. Like the guy said, first impressions are hard as hell to change, what year are u?