I'm sorry guys, I give up

[SayWhat]

I have read so many stuff and applied it the best I can, but nothing is happening.

I have things going for me, I get called good looking often (but am percieved as a silent guy), I got into a high esteem company, go to the gym three times a week and currently am just shy away of a perfect beachbody, hell I even have a big d*ck.

When I see a girl, I see in my head how I should act, how I should talk, but it doesn't come out. It's a pathetic thing too say and it even feels like a waste because deep down I know I can have a lot of girls, I just give up and live my life alone until some BPP chick comes along and wants to f*ck of which afterwards I'll be devastated for over a year.

I saw my latest BPD ex (13 years older as me, married, three kids) today. I feel okay, not completely over it, but just can't grasp that she dumped me. Apparently she stays with her husband for the kids, but has her new toyboy on the side and even brags to friends about how sweet he is. And still, even though it's a f*cked up situation and I never envisioned a decent relationship with her, the thought of why him and not me keeps prevailing.

I'm sorry, I just give up. Nothing works for me. Thanks for all the advice and help, in some way it did.

 

[Suspens]

hen I see a girl, I see in my head how I should act, how I should talk, but it doesn't come out. It's a pathetic thing too say and it even feels like a waste because deep down I know I can have a lot of girls, I just give up and live my life alone ...

We are in a similar situation bud. I've even started a topic about it 2 days ago. We just have to work on those 2 major flaws, once we get rid of them, everything will be alright.

 

[El Payaso]

So, let me get this straight. You want to be in the place of your ex-BPD girlfriend's husband who is getting cheated on?

 

[amazingswayze]

Good luck getting anywhere with your current mindset.

Life can be better. It's not over yet.

You need to find something to live for. Maybe you shouldn't go for women right now, you don't need to.

You need to find happiness and no matter what your current situation is, it's possible to find happiness.

None of our advice will do much for you except make you think for a few minutes.

What you need is a dramatic change in your lifestyle.

Think positive. Forget about women right now. It seems like you need to.

I don't know much about you so it's hard to help. Just know that there's no reason to give up.

Get your **** together. You have it in you. I know it.

Baby steps, my friend.

Baby steps.

 

[Mike32ct]

You are absolutely welcome to forget about women for a while, but at least consider the following...

I have read so many stuff and applied it the best I can, but nothing is happening.

I have things going for me, I get called good looking often (but am percieved as a silent guy), I got into a high esteem company, go to the gym three times a week and currently am just shy away of a perfect beachbody, hell I even have a big d*ck.

You are all set, and you don't even know it. Honestly, "game" might be hurting you more than helping you.

When I see a girl, I see in my head how I should act, how I should talk, but it doesn't come out.

If you have the looks that you noted, then honestly, you can just be yourself around women. Even if your personality is totally dry and serious, that's fine. The right chick will still eat it up. But if you worry about how you SHOULD act and keep trying to be "game-y" like c&f or whatever, you will probably do WORSE.

It's a pathetic thing too say and it even feels like a waste because deep down I know I can have a lot of girls, I just give up and live my life alone until some BPP chick comes along and wants to f*ck of which afterwards I'll be devastated for over a year.

I saw my latest BPD ex (13 years older as me, married, three kids) today. I feel okay, not completely over it, but just can't grasp that she dumped me. Apparently she stays with her husband for the kids, but has her new toyboy on the side and even brags to friends about how sweet he is. And still, even though it's a f*cked up situation and I never envisioned a decent relationship with her, the thought of why him and not me keeps prevailing.

I won't lecture on the married broad thing, but I will say that it creates this total fantasy. Everything seems so hot and exciting and perfect, but it's only the thrill caused by her cheating. It's not real. It's not the genuine connection that you might think it is.

I'm sorry, I just give up. Nothing works for me. Thanks for all the advice and help, in some way it did.

But anyway, feel free to take a break from women for a while. Focus on work, hobbies, exercise, etc. When you feel ready again to meet women, just be yourself and let your looks do most of the work.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Be tough man. Change the way you think. If you think the same way about life and percieve the same way you did 3 years ago as you do now, then that is your problem. Control your perception. Life will get better. Trust me.

 

[RangerMIke]

Don't fvcking quit Take some time off, work on yourself.... pick something fvcking anything that you never thought in a million years you could do.... then go fvcking do it.

I mean this... you are not going to get this advice from any life coach you will ever encounter, but this will help you.

If you are REALLY ready to give the fvck up, then what you need to do is to totally KILL YOUR LIFE, and start over.... do this by doing something you think is impossible

Then come back in a couple of years and tell us know how that worked out.

 

[ubercat]

SW
Just b social man - learn to flirt - don't try and pick up. My list is yoga, badminton, tennis, bookclub, local farmersmarket, shopping and dance class. Soon as Scar shares a few more of his secrets I m going to add Asian grocery stores. Make yr own list of things yr into that chicks go to.

Practice saying something about situation. E.g. today had day off so at morning maccas saw 2 young Asian girls. Asked their advice in some decorating stuff I m doing at home.

Needed some new jeans. Flirted with the HG talked about y her stuff wasn't suitable Looked her up and down a few times and told her she could sell me anything. She knows damn well she can't so bit of basic push pull happening.

In the line at checkout in dept store. Started talking to older lady ahead to establish safety. Then turned to my real target behind and started talking about how they always ambush u with chocolate at the register. Held up my jeans like a shield and said I was protected by my skinny jeans bit if DHV. And then noticed the ring.

This is real basic stuff which is where I m at. But all this practice builds the skills. Then when u ve got a bit if basic flirting down. Since your handsome get some pro photos go OLD. Take them on action dates so u don't have to talk muspe Follow this advice of r 3 months and if yr not getting laid find a recommended dating coach. U might have speach patterns or body language problems that require in person correction.

Wow big post hope it helps man

 

[yungballa]

My friend, I don't know if you're still reading this, but if you are I want you to read my post and think. Hard.


The fact that you said you give up means you have defeated yourself. Now, before you even succeeded or even tried, you have already defeated yourself without even knowing the result because in your mind you already told yourself "No, I can't."

No one can tell you you're a failure except yourself. And that's what you've done now. You've told yourself you're a failure and that you can't do it. Now, let's see how far that'll get you.

What if you see a woman that you're VERY interested in. Let's say she's your IDEAL girl. You're totally attracted to her on sight. You want to approach, but you CAN'T all because that voice in your head tells you that you CAN'T.
That little voice tells you that it's over BEFORE YOU CAN EVEN START!

And now that you've listened to that voice, you failed without even trying. Your chance to approach the girl is gone. You won't even know whether or not your approach with the girl would've gone good or not because a STUPID VOICE IN YOUR HEAD TOOK CONTROL OF YOU. And that voice in your head is you telling yourself "No, I cannot do it."

Don't listen to that voice. Try. Try. Try. And keep on trying, again, again and again. Do you think people became successful overnight? No one is an overnight success. It takes failure after failure after FAILURE to finally become successful.

I don't know if you've read the DJ bible or not, but if you have, you should reread it.

What I'm trying to say is stop listening to that negative voice in your head that says "I give up" or "I can't do it". Because if you think like that, I can GUARANTEE you that you ain't going nowhere in life with that mentality.

Once you have an belief in your mind, you apply it to your reality. So, you think you're gonna fail? Then you fail. You think you're gonna succeed? Then you're bound to succeed.

It's one step at a time. No one is an overnight success. It takes hard work and dedication. Determination will never betray you.

Stay strong, my friend.

You need to reinvent your self and breathe new life into yourself. Improve your life in all areas.

But don't forget it all begins with mindset.

 

[switch7]

I have read so many stuff and applied it the best I can, but nothing is happening.

I have things going for me, I get called good looking often (but am percieved as a silent guy), I got into a high esteem company, go to the gym three times a week and currently am just shy away of a perfect beachbody, hell I even have a big d*ck.

When I see a girl, I see in my head how I should act, how I should talk, but it doesn't come out. It's a pathetic thing too say and it even feels like a waste because deep down I know I can have a lot of girls, I just give up and live my life alone until some BPP chick comes along and wants to f*ck of which afterwards I'll be devastated for over a year.

I saw my latest BPD ex (13 years older as me, married, three kids) today. I feel okay, not completely over it, but just can't grasp that she dumped me. Apparently she stays with her husband for the kids, but has her new toyboy on the side and even brags to friends about how sweet he is. And still, even though it's a f*cked up situation and I never envisioned a decent relationship with her, the thought of why him and not me keeps prevailing.

I'm sorry, I just give up. Nothing works for me. Thanks for all the advice and help, in some way it did.

Stop chasing women, forget game, forget approaching women for now and forget trying to get a woman. Forget this woman who is 13 years older than you. She's a joke from what I can tell and deep down she is probably more unhappy than you are hence why she has to keep swapping men to sustain her serotonin levels.

You are trying to build the house without laying the foundations. The foundations in your case are your mind set/self value.

Focus on becoming a man. Work on your self esteem. Learn how to deal with whatever life throws at you. Find your passion, set goals, build your life. Once you do this the women will come flocking. But you must remember, WOMEN ARE NOT THE GOAL, THEY ARE JUST A BIPRODUCT

 

[SayWhat]

Thanks everyone for the responses, it creates hope. I have just been in a week of negative thoughts and mostly about all the missed opportunities with all the girls I could have been with. Looking back you see the signs and hit yourself in the head. But it brings comfort to know I was an ever more AFC back then and the relationship would have ended badly for me.

In all my life (turning 28 in a couple of months), I've had three relations (including the BPD cheating wife) and thus have slept only with three woman. All these woman have initiated the relationship, they made it all too obvious and just said it straight out loud they wanted me. This might be a problem as well as I don't spin plates ever (I don't know how) and always am amazed how people can do this when I read the stories on this board.

find a recommended dating coach. U might have speach patterns or body language problems that require in person correction.

This in fact I have been thinking for a while, the problem must be there. I've read a lot of stuff about these subjects and try to apply them, but to no avail.

 

[Konada]

OP, I'm going on a hunch here but have you explored your deep seated motivations for the things you have?

Are you chasing a good job to impress women?
Did you acquire your beach body for women?
Do you do whatever you do in hopes of attracting women?

Be honest, do you really acquire the things you have so far because you want it for yourself or because it supposedly brings women? If today, you lost all you have, are you confident that women are attracted to the current self you share with the world?

Game can only get you so far, the epitome of true game is sharing yourself with the women who are attracted to you without any dependence on whether they join you for the ride or not.

 

[SayWhat]

I chased the job for myself, because I really want to do this for the rest of my life.

My hobby (paramotoring) I also did for myself, I've always wanted to do this. I must admit that posting a picture of it on Facebook (as it is with any pictures you post there) is not to 'complete' my homepage, but is of course to look cool...

The beach body I thought about before and I think I started working out because of trying to indeed attract more woman and to gain more confidence. It has come to a point now where I don't want to quit the gym though, I look good and don't want to loose this, so I think the ratio has changed more to myself. But can anyone who goes to the gym to get buffed up say it's 100% for himself?

If today I would loose everything, I don't believe I would attract any girl at all, because like has been said, my mindset is completely wrong and I don't believe I'm a fun and interesting person.

 

[Konada]

I chased the job for myself, because I really want to do this for the rest of my life.

My hobby (paramotoring) I also did for myself, I've always wanted to do this. I must admit that posting a picture of it on Facebook (as it is with any pictures you post there) is not to 'complete' my homepage, but is of course to look cool...

The beach body I thought about before and I think I started working out because of trying to indeed attract more woman and to gain more confidence. It has come to a point now where I don't want to quit the gym though, I look good and don't want to loose this, so I think the ratio has changed more to myself. But can anyone who goes to the gym to get buffed up say it's 100% for himself?

If today I would loose everything, I don't believe I would attract any girl at all, because like has been said, my mindset is completely wrong and I don't believe I'm a fun and interesting person.

There in lies your answer. PM me and we can start working on getting rid of this mindset.

 

[Thechamp]

Not everyone can become a dj , just think more positive if I was you I would just travel use tinder , and the rest will follow not sure where you live beacuse location is a major factor in success .

 

[Suspens]

"But Pook, I got no girl!" That is not the problem. The problem is that you place your happiness on a girl. You can't be happy in a relationship unless you're happy being single. Get away, endulge yourself in your hobbies and work. Whatever you do, do not sit there and regurgitate your emotions. Take Action.

But the more common is, "But Pook, I am doing my hobbies and work. I have a natural need for intimacy. I am tired of being single!"

And I am sure it is especially burning that you walk around and see these happy couples, hand in hand, with huge smiles on their faces, almost as if they are mocking you. But fear not! You are way ahead of the other males.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16113
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16186

 

[zekko]

When I see a girl, I see in my head how I should act, how I should talk, but it doesn't come out.

If you can visualize it, you should be able to do it. Start small, try to incorporate little bits of what you envision.

When you say "in my head" though, it makes me think. I know that when I talk to women, I have to get completely out of my head. I can't stay in my head, and analyze stages of seduction and stuff like that. I don't know how Mystery and them did that sort of thing.

Actually, I remember seeing videos of Mystery running his game on sets, I thought it made no sense at all. He had all of these canned lines that he kept using, but they were totally out of context to the situation. I don't know how the heck he had success with that stuff, but apparently he did.

I saw my latest BPD ex (13 years older as me, married, three kids) today. I feel okay, not completely over it, but just can't grasp that she dumped me. Apparently she stays with her husband for the kids, but has her new toyboy on the side and even brags to friends about how sweet he is. And still, even though it's a f*cked up situation and I never envisioned a decent relationship with her, the thought of why him and not me keeps prevailing.

You were the one who prevailed. He's the one who's married to that poisonous snake.

 

[yun-j]

Why fvcking apologise to a bunch of randoms on the net?

 

[guru1000]

If you give up, then kill yourself. If not, then stop making excuses for your famine.

Commit to one thing a day to improve your situation. Start here.

 

[Serenity]

Giving up helped me out of these fvcked up places in my mind, might help you as well. Stop trying and see how long it takes before you no longer can resist taking whatever action to get what you want. In my case I never really stopped wanting what I supposedly gave up, I just didn't act on it before I was motivated.

The period of not trying is a time of contemplation, in that time you focus on yourself and do what you have to do to correct the errors you've noticed. Sort out your thoughts, work your way through it to find a way to bring an end to your sh!tty experience. It gets worse before it becomes better, but you must pull through it.

I got supercharged from doing that, like in the end I was everything except silent and boring.