I'm about to graduate high school, and I've never had a gf, kiss, or sex before. I don't own a car, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to be stuck at home all this summer. I only have like one girl on my phone, but I'm pretty sure she friendzoned me. I'm going to a big college, but it's probably going to end up like high school. Have high expectations and end up leaving disappointed. No, I don't put girls on the pedestal and I tease them. After the past girl, I've lost all hope because that was just some straight up bull****.
I'm pretty sure I won't ever get a girlfriend
- Thread starter JPlaya
- Start date
Get your head high what are you talking about your self image is so low that i think you cant even see yourself in the mirror anymore you need to start learn the bibel the bot camp and so you need to change everything about you should change.STart step by step and belive me your not the only who is suffering this phase but you need to change.
You'll be fine if you WANT to live the best life you can live
I definitely recognize myself in some of your words.
You have to ask yourself: If not know, when? . Realize that time is short and limited. Moments pass very quickly, like HS. So when you see an opportunity take it right there if you WANT( not feel like, but want deep inside).
Start a change. Decide you want to change and be better. Not perfect, not controlling everything, but you want to EVOLVE.
Start small and be consistent until you get big at everything( you should notice yourself improving -- that pace you need).
Go into overdrive.
When you have problems with your feelings ACCEPT them and take right action in spite of them.
You're not alone. Nobody's perfect and will never be. However, one should try to be the best they can be. Why? For himself. For him to enjoy his life and LIVE A LIFE HE LOVES.
I definitely recognize myself in some of your words.
You have to ask yourself: If not know, when? . Realize that time is short and limited. Moments pass very quickly, like HS. So when you see an opportunity take it right there if you WANT( not feel like, but want deep inside).
Start a change. Decide you want to change and be better. Not perfect, not controlling everything, but you want to EVOLVE.
Start small and be consistent until you get big at everything( you should notice yourself improving -- that pace you need).
Go into overdrive.
When you have problems with your feelings ACCEPT them and take right action in spite of them.
You're not alone. Nobody's perfect and will never be. However, one should try to be the best they can be. Why? For himself. For him to enjoy his life and LIVE A LIFE HE LOVES.
NorwegianDJ
Master Don Juan
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I know of many people that were in your scenario, but ended up being true examples of other people to follow.
The way you talk it seems like you're not doing anything towards improving.
Realize that you're resisting the moment, your current situation. Accept it and deal with it.
Make a proper plan and stick to it. Take action and be proactive. You can have an amazing time in college if you're socially proactive from day 1.
The way you talk it seems like you're not doing anything towards improving.
Realize that you're resisting the moment, your current situation. Accept it and deal with it.
Make a proper plan and stick to it. Take action and be proactive. You can have an amazing time in college if you're socially proactive from day 1.
jafyk
Master Don Juan
Please search for the Dj Bible and read the book of Pook (on this site). It will really help you to get started. Being a DJ is about getting your acts together. When you do women will naturally follow, because by then you would have the qualities and knowledge to attract them. Below is my "A young man's guide to becoming better with self and women.
I might have mentioned www.sosuave.com to you in the past. This is the site that got me started. I'm going to try not to bombard you with a lot of information so you don't get overwhelmed. Sosuave.com basically is a site with a collection of advise from different people. The tendency is for most people to result to trying to use some of those advice and tricks as gimmicks (crutches). They are merely guides as you will understand from reading the book of Pook which I've just started reading myself (it is funny in the way it is reading and it makes reference to the sosuave discussion forum (You will see the link on the left side of the site) The discussion forum is important because you can read people's questions and experiences and responses others give to them. You can also start your own threads and ask questions. From reading the book of Pook the major thing I'm getting out of it is that the focus should be more on your on yourself than the woman. The reason is that pretty much everything you need to succeed is already within you.
In other words your focus should be on improving yourself (by being goal oriented through your interests e.g soccer, education etc) and not being afraid to be the man which you are. In other words expressing yourself with confidence without much thought to outcomes but it is not to throw caution to the wind. It's explained better in the book of pook. The things you learn via the book and sosuave are just guides but you have to find out what works for you.Here's the link http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/Downloads/The Book of Pook.pdf
In the mean time things you should do.
1. Continue to focus and expand on your interest as it will make you interesting and confident (things women find attractive in men)
2. Package yourself well because you are selling yourself. So, the way you dress. Avoid plain clothings (unless it's professional). Go to a store like Macy's and while some of the clothings might be expensive look for things on sale. Clothes with design says that you have style and taste. If you are not sure what to buy get someone who is fashion savvy to go with you. Get a good cologne (looking and smelling good is attractive to women). Don't forget shoes too. Objects such as necklace, bracelets can often to lead to conversation starters. When you dress and look good you feel good about yourself, people compliment you and it adds to your confidence.
3a. Educate yourself: Knowledge is power. If you don't know the signs to look for that a woman is interested you might be backing up the wrong tree. All the same that is better than not taking any risks at all. If you know the signs (read a body language book) to look for that a woman might be interested then you are approaching constructively but you shouldn't always wait for signs. Knowledge is useless if you there's no practice behind it.
3. Practice: Go out with your socially outgoing friend and you can just sit back and watch what they do when they interact with girls. Practice on your own as well. It doesn't matter if you have to make up lame excuses to talk to the women e.g if you are in a clothing store and you see a girl by herself you could ask for her opinion on something you wanna buy and then if she responds nice enough you can take the conversation further to getting her # etc
4. Do not be afraid to express yourself
5. Terms: When you get on the sosuave forum you might encounter words such as AW (attention *****), AFC (Average frustrated chump), OP (original poster), IMO (in my opinion), IL (interest level), LTR (long term relationship), DHV (demonstration of high value), SS (Sosuave), kino (physical touch)
6. Qualities: Have a bit of mystery to you, be funny and ****y (Confidence and teasing), be interesting and unpredictable (act hot and cold), Smile and maintain eye contact (don't stare), initiate kino once she's comfortable with you. Don't apologize unless you've done something genuinely wrong. Get a woman to talk about herself and listen (ask open ended questions...questions that are answered with an explanation not yes and no)
I might have mentioned www.sosuave.com to you in the past. This is the site that got me started. I'm going to try not to bombard you with a lot of information so you don't get overwhelmed. Sosuave.com basically is a site with a collection of advise from different people. The tendency is for most people to result to trying to use some of those advice and tricks as gimmicks (crutches). They are merely guides as you will understand from reading the book of Pook which I've just started reading myself (it is funny in the way it is reading and it makes reference to the sosuave discussion forum (You will see the link on the left side of the site) The discussion forum is important because you can read people's questions and experiences and responses others give to them. You can also start your own threads and ask questions. From reading the book of Pook the major thing I'm getting out of it is that the focus should be more on your on yourself than the woman. The reason is that pretty much everything you need to succeed is already within you.
In other words your focus should be on improving yourself (by being goal oriented through your interests e.g soccer, education etc) and not being afraid to be the man which you are. In other words expressing yourself with confidence without much thought to outcomes but it is not to throw caution to the wind. It's explained better in the book of pook. The things you learn via the book and sosuave are just guides but you have to find out what works for you.Here's the link http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/Downloads/The Book of Pook.pdf
In the mean time things you should do.
1. Continue to focus and expand on your interest as it will make you interesting and confident (things women find attractive in men)
2. Package yourself well because you are selling yourself. So, the way you dress. Avoid plain clothings (unless it's professional). Go to a store like Macy's and while some of the clothings might be expensive look for things on sale. Clothes with design says that you have style and taste. If you are not sure what to buy get someone who is fashion savvy to go with you. Get a good cologne (looking and smelling good is attractive to women). Don't forget shoes too. Objects such as necklace, bracelets can often to lead to conversation starters. When you dress and look good you feel good about yourself, people compliment you and it adds to your confidence.
3a. Educate yourself: Knowledge is power. If you don't know the signs to look for that a woman is interested you might be backing up the wrong tree. All the same that is better than not taking any risks at all. If you know the signs (read a body language book) to look for that a woman might be interested then you are approaching constructively but you shouldn't always wait for signs. Knowledge is useless if you there's no practice behind it.
3. Practice: Go out with your socially outgoing friend and you can just sit back and watch what they do when they interact with girls. Practice on your own as well. It doesn't matter if you have to make up lame excuses to talk to the women e.g if you are in a clothing store and you see a girl by herself you could ask for her opinion on something you wanna buy and then if she responds nice enough you can take the conversation further to getting her # etc
4. Do not be afraid to express yourself
5. Terms: When you get on the sosuave forum you might encounter words such as AW (attention *****), AFC (Average frustrated chump), OP (original poster), IMO (in my opinion), IL (interest level), LTR (long term relationship), DHV (demonstration of high value), SS (Sosuave), kino (physical touch)
6. Qualities: Have a bit of mystery to you, be funny and ****y (Confidence and teasing), be interesting and unpredictable (act hot and cold), Smile and maintain eye contact (don't stare), initiate kino once she's comfortable with you. Don't apologize unless you've done something genuinely wrong. Get a woman to talk about herself and listen (ask open ended questions...questions that are answered with an explanation not yes and no)
jafyk
Master Don Juan
The only thing holding you back is that you are black? Men, what's the matter with you? I'm offended you'd say something like that. I am black as well and while a lot of us black guys may not be as wealthy or be the majority like our white counterparts, we do normally have a sense of pride and swagger (confidence) which makes us attractive. You better start tapping into yours or I will come to wherever you are and smack some sense into you, lol. I'm just kidding but seriously man.JPlaya said:
What the hell? Being black has never held me back from being a DJ, that's straight nonsense. You need to be who you are, and if you're black and preppy, so what? Accept who you are and what you've been through, and begin to improve yourself, get some damn confidence, stop thinking that you'll never get a girlfriend.JPlaya said:
novaknight
Senior Don Juan
Dude....what you need to do is get rid of the limiting beliefs about your race.JPlaya said:
You're black. But you seem like you're good looking. Okay, you're a good looking guy, albeit of a different race. Uhh...I don't see what's the problem?
I used to be a lot like you. You see, I'm an Oriental guy. I used to think that being yellow means no *****. And that I was destined to always fail with women...and it would be much better if all I did was study, play computer, and not do much else.
Till I began digging myself out of my AFC pit. Slowly by slowly I was getting a better outlook. Till one time in the summer, during a trip, I finally got the urge to go for this girl. I was damn close to banging her. Now, I'm trying to get a girlfriend, and have a target I'm trying to ask out monday.
Well, what was the point of me telling this? The moment I stopped looking to my race as an disadvantage...everything went uphill. Dude, if an unattractive yellow kid can do it...a decent looking black guy certainly can.
Good luck. I really believe you can. Well, once you stop looking at your race as a disadvantage.
NorwegianDJ
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2010
- Messages
- 2,562
- Reaction score
- 83
Whatever you believe; you're right.
CHANGE YOUR MINDSET! NOW! If you continue to read this post, you agree to change your mindset and improve your life by getting what you want. Keep reading, you won't regret it.
First off, Race only means something if you let it. So, don't worry about it. Plenty of girls (of all races) dig black guys.
Second, don't "ACT" anything. If your personality is "preppy", then BE preppy. If not, then BE whatever you actually ARE. Don't try to be what you THINK girls want. Make the girls want YOU, the REAL you.
What the other guys have posted for technique and stuff will help you, I won't repeat what they said.
You need some confidence. Repeat this "I am Attractive. I Am Confident. I will get a Girlfriend."
You get what you sow. Think you can do this or you never will. So, GO OUT THERE AND DO THIS!
First off, Race only means something if you let it. So, don't worry about it. Plenty of girls (of all races) dig black guys.
Second, don't "ACT" anything. If your personality is "preppy", then BE preppy. If not, then BE whatever you actually ARE. Don't try to be what you THINK girls want. Make the girls want YOU, the REAL you.
What the other guys have posted for technique and stuff will help you, I won't repeat what they said.
You need some confidence. Repeat this "I am Attractive. I Am Confident. I will get a Girlfriend."
You get what you sow. Think you can do this or you never will. So, GO OUT THERE AND DO THIS!
jafyk
Master Don Juan
But before you go out there please start by reading the Book of Pook it will cover most of everything you need to know.
AH909
Don Juan
All the stuff above this is some good ****. The only thing im gonna add on is that you should definitally read some of the journals on here. They are a great source of motivation and it gives you a more realistic view of things. NorweiganDJs and Nino-Tks are my personal favorites but they are all good.
Craig Reeves
Master Don Juan
OK...JPlaya said:
I am Black and preppy, and am always around a-lot of preppy white girls. It works wonders for me. It's like my gimmick without really having a gimmick because it's just who I am.
Your head is in the wrong place. Too much negativity.
Self-Affirmation works. Every time I see myself I see myself In the mirror I compliment myself in some way. Do this for a while and build some self confidence.
Your head is in the wrong place. Too much negativity.
Self-Affirmation works. Every time I see myself I see myself In the mirror I compliment myself in some way. Do this for a while and build some self confidence.
Mr.Freestyler19
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2010
- Messages
- 120
- Reaction score
- 1
do this..works great:]scammbone said:
I'm 26 now. When I graduated HS I was in a worse spot than OP. I was pretty much a skinny, completely oblivious version of OP.JPlaya said:
Techniques and lines are helpful but the bread and butter is opportunities and attitude.
In a couple months you're going to have a ton or opportunities. Fix your attitude and you'll be fine. Quit being emo. Seriously you're 18; you've got plenty of time to improve the things you don't like about yourself. It's tough to be emo on the internet w/o letting it spill over into real life. Even if you think you're covering it up it'll still show itself in the form of body language, voice tone, facial expressions, and that will hurt your chances badly.
If you're only working on one girl at a time, you'll be desperate for her (especially if you've never been laid). If you've got a couple back up plans your attitude will automatically change for the better. Stop going at them one at a time. Come to think of it, this when I got laid for the first time. I had 4 or 5 prospects so when I was chatting with one I was aloof. I didn't know anything about game, so it wasn't a conscious effort--it was just something that happened naturally.JPlaya said:
Also, your run-of-the-mill-college-liberal-white-girls will love a preppy black guy with a little bit of edge.