I'm officially "an ass"

[Halo]

I met up with this girl a few weeks ago, and she lives near me so I ended up riding back with her. I won't go into details, but I left my coat over at her apartment.

I've attempted to set up a dinner date with her a few times. She had expressed an interest in doing so, at least verbally. In both cases she backed out at the last minute, with excuses that may or may not be legitimate. She did at least counteroffer for different times, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. Most recently we'd discussed doing something this week, so I called her and left a message but the proposed time came and went without her calling back.

Needless to say, I no longer feel like dealing with flaky behavior because I have wasted far too much time on girls in the past who were acting similarly. I sent her a pretty curt email saying if she doesn't want to do anything again then fine, but I need to get my coat back. I sarcastically added that she could just mail it to me.

She wrote back saying she didn't understand what I was talking about, why the "drama", she is dealing with personal problems right now, etc, etc. She said I was acting like an ass. Maybe so. I want my damn coat back though! She said she would call me later...lol.

What do you guys think of this? Maybe I didn't handle things in the coolest way, but I still think it was better than the nice guy doormat approach. I've never had a girl call me an ass before, and to be honest I almost take it as a compliment.

 

[FreeStyleZ]

You handled it fine. Just say you didnt mean to be an ass and then politely ask her for your coat back. After that next her and move on. Show no signs of being upset about it.. and also dont be an ass because who knows.. she may call you a month from now asking to hook up.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

The ho punked you and called you an ass because she knows you want her pvssy and you would take such slanderous talk without provocation - don't be a pvssy and and back down from hos!!!! Leave this ho alone and get your dignity back. You may want to comment back to her, only after you get your coat back though, "I may be an ass but you are a pvssy, literally and figuratively speaking!!!!

 

[DankNuggs]

Don't write 'curt' emails, definite AFC move. Lets her know your being whiny. She may have been busy/uninterested, no big deal, just let her know that its cold out and you need your coat...If you know a general time when she'd likely be home tell her you're going to stop by to grab it...Wish her well and go on your merry way.....

 

[Halo]

You're right DN, I should not have been curt. It showed that it had "gotten to me" which it shouldn't have; at least I should not have allowed it to show. On the other hand, it is difficult to continually encounter rude behavior and NOT make it known that you are irritated by it. I don't even mean the male-female realm exclusively, but just human behavior in general. I have dealt with girls who were simply rude on a general level, lacking even basic common courtesy. I don't think they should be allowed to coast through life never having to be called on such BS just because they have a pretty face or whatever.

I am still glad I said what I wanted to say though, even if it precludes any further development with this particular girl (that was probably already the case). I just hope I can get my coat back in one piece

 

[DJZ]

I don't think he was an ass. She's the one being an ass. I mean come on, the ***** knows it's fvcking winter time, and she won't even set aside 5 minutes to let him swing by and pick it up. She could even meet him somewhere on her lunch break and give it to him, it's not that hard. She deserved to have her hand called. Plus she's been stringing him along for a while now, telling him she wants to go out, but then never coming through.

I've done this type of thing with a girl before (stringing along), and the reason was b/c I had interest in her, but it was very low. I told her I would call her but never did. She called me and invited me to go do something on campus. I couldn't go though, b/c I had plans, but I promised her I would call her later and we could go do something. Well, I never called her back. A few months went by, haven't seen her or talked to her, and she calls me out of the blue. I told her she could come over and watch a movie sometime. Well, same thing again, I haven't called her back to set the day for her to come over. I'm just not that interested. However, if she left a coat over here, I would be sure to get it returned to her, regardless of how much I liked her...

 

[THA REALNESS]

You should've just called and asked about your coat ,who gives a **** about what she thinks? Granted you would probably never see your coat again but now you have even less of a chance of seeing it.

 

[MackJr]

try to get the coat. Ask for it and sidestep away from any drama talk, just focus on the coat. If she refuses to, tell her she's the ass and no better than you.


by the way, If you have to, you can take her to small claims court but it shouldn't get to that.

 

[Befuddled]

i think u hoped for too much with this girl. having said that she shouldnt have led u on if she didnt want to do anything.

I think your reaction is to be expected, but i dont think loosing your cool is appropriate. NOW she knows u had a think for her, you have succesfully managed to boost her ego.

this is what i would have done:
called her...TOLD her im coming over to pick up the coat. get there, keep up a semi-friendly appearance, but keep the visit short and sweet....leave on good terms and never initiate contact with her ever again. But thats just me.

 

[Halo]

I wouldn't say I have been hoping for too much with this girl. She just happened to be the one that got on the receiving end of some pent up anger at flaky girls in general. I would've handled it differently if I could do it again, but I still think it's good to call them out on their BS from time to time.

She called me yesterday afternoon and wants to have lunch today, so I guess I will see how that goes. I think I am just going to get my coat back and leave things on as friendly of terms as possible. I don't think I will try to pursue anything else with her.

I must say though, it feels a whole lot better for a girl to tell you "you're such an ass" rather than "you're such a nice guy."

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by Halo
I I must say though, it feels a whole lot better for a girl to tell you "you're such an ass" rather than "you're such a nice guy."

Yes - good comment halo only a true DJ would make such a comment! I only agree if it comes out of the mouth of a wh@re! But usually hos only talk like this so there you go.