I came to this website in 2006 as a sophomore in high school, the very definition of an AFC. I spent hours on this website asking people for advice on situations and help, and it took a long time before I started to make significant progress. Many times I felt like I just wasn't meant to be good with women, that I couldn't do it, that I was hopeless. But I kept at it, despite some days where I'd embarrass myself in front of a girl I really liked and just wanted to give up and accept that I was an AFC. There were nights that at 16 I'll admit I fvcking cried at the girls that I had oneitis with got into relationships with other guys and didn't have the feelings for me that I wished they did.
Step by step, I slowly, slowly made gains. Lot of trial and error. Lot of dead-ends. There is no magic pill or quick fix for this. You have to go out and become comfortable around women through experience. Lot of embarrassing encounters with women. By my senior year I had made some significant progress - it was baby steps in the eyes of some of my friends who were a lot better with girls, but to me it made me realize it was possible to do this. I was much better at talking to women, and even took my high school's "golden girl" out that Valentines Day much to the envy of all my friends. I was her first date. She was one of the most attractive, intelligent, and prestigious girls our school had. A total sweetheart. And I was the first one throughout high school to ask and take her out on a date. The guys who were the good looking athletic rich kids that the cheerleaders seemed to flock to never had the balls to ask her.
The date was great - we really hit it off - but of course I had never gotten that far with a girl before, much less one as intimidatingly perfect as her, so naturally when it came time to close I screwed it up and pussied out for going for the kiss.
I remember being pissed at myself driving back home when I began to realize how far I had unknowingly come in two years.In retrospect yeah it was a total AFC move, but I had never been in that scenario before and overthought it. If these were the AFC moves I was making compared to the old AFC moves, that's success. It's about the small steps. You learn as you go. You make mistakes, but you learn.
One year later I went off to college and everything suddenly clicked for me - like the pieces I had been putting together in my head over the past three years suddenly all fell into place. Almost without realizing it I became the guy on the floor who would bring back a different girl every weekend. Girls that would have never given me the time of day in high school I found were next to me in my dorm bed. Hell, I had a senior sorority girl as a ****buddy my sophomore year and eventually broke it off when she started getting feelings for me. That **** all seems like a memory now, I don't even feel like the same person I was back in high school. It's gotten to the point where I don't even care about getting women anymore, they will always be there. I'm focused on my next big goal for the success of my career.
I'm not trying to swing my virtual **** around, that's not the point of me writing this. The point of me writing this is to tell you that if someone as far, far down the rabbit hole of AFC-dom as I was back when I first came to this site in 2006 can end up living a life he knew he'd never be able to, then you don't have an excuse.
I sympathize with you, I do, but this pity party has got to go. I know its tough, and it takes time, and trial and error. I know its difficult keep at it and its demoralizing as **** sometimes, but I promise you. I absolutely promise you, if you keep on giving an honest effort to improve and work on yourself you will see success. You either want it bad enough or you don't. There's no chance involved, if you put in the time and effort, you will be rewarded and you will get what you want. It's not a matter of "if", it's a matter of "when". You either want this for yourself or you don't. You either have what it takes or you don't.
Good luck.
