I'm new here but I'm dealing with a 10

[Granderson5]

I'm new here - glad to have a buddy who turned me on to this site. Great stuff. Just need some advice....So I met, and have developed a relationship with this girl who is 25 - I'm 37...she's the textbook smoking hot, impatient beautiful girl who has men approach her everywhere she goes. Our sexual encounters were awesome. After the first time I knew the dangers I was up against -but I kept cool and turns out I was doing the right things according to this site - at first I had anticipating just moving on with my life, meeting other girls etc...the more time in spend with this girl the more I really dig her..she's told me the same thing...but lately the last couple times SHE has asked to see me, she bails last min. In fact she stood me up this weekend - full on..time before last that her plans changed and she came out and admitted that I scare the **** out of her..not physically obviously but she says the idea of me scares her. After the most recent standup, she gives me the scared excuse and a laundry list of why it takes ALOT to be with her... Ok so this is where it gets complicated - and don't judge - I'm currently separated have been since she and I met. This girl was not the reason for the separation and it had been in the works prior to meeting. The marriage has been been emotionally over for awhile and I've never cheated on anyone before..some would argue this is, but we're legally separated living apart..so sure argue away. - point being, this girl is really great, and I had absolutely no intention of getting emotionally attached but I recognize the potential for this - but I have her scared now to the point where she just won't see me...sure its possible shes a complete liar, but never really got that vibe from her at all. she's opened up enough to admit she doesn't want to be a rebound or the divorcee bimbo.

For the last couple weeks, we have dialog - SHE will ask me things like Are you done with me? wants to meet up, we agree and she cancels..I stop contacting her, she reaches out, asks me to meet her, she bails and gives me the scared excuse. Anyone else deal with this successfully? This girl is really really difficult to resist, tons of fun to be around, but she is that hot girl who's used to getting what she wants and she's clearly testing me....
At this point I'm planning to hold my ground - and not contact her since our latest exchange immediately following her standing me up - which I'm totally prepared to do. Clearly the obvious - finish the divorce officially..which I'm doing..

My instinct is to just tell her she probably isn't ready for someone like me - giving her that challenge..but your feed back is welcome! Thanks for reading

 

[Secondtimeround]

NC. If she messages, just give her one word replies or that you are busy. Think it's time to cut your losses mate, sounds like she's had her fun and is just keeping you around for an ego boost. Don't become a chump.

Like you said, you are now a free man, work on yourself, enjoy life and start spinning plates and dating.

 

[ScottMustaine]

"new here"

"dealing with a 10"

He's legit guys. He certainly is a new one.


Yes, she is using you for the attention. Then dropping in the backyard and seducing you once again when she needs it.

Drop out of this face of Earth. It's hard, but you must, never,ever, ever again start convo with her.

If she does, be polite, and move on with your life in next 2-3 mins telling your you are busy and you have to do something. Even if you just need to pee. You get the point.

She sounds as a potential BPD as well. RUN LIKE HELL, GO SOLDIER !

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

She is not testing you. She needs to have interest in you to test you to begin with.

She's testing herself. "How much of a b1tch can I act like and still attract men?"

What you have going on with her is going nowhere FAST. Don't just go NC, never talk to her again. EVER. You will do the future men in her life a favour by knocking her ego down a peg instead of feeding it.

Thank you,

Sincerely,

Your Fellow Man

 

[Smell The Glove]

Why should he care about the future men in her life?

 

[Granderson5]

Thanks for the replies gents. Plenty of plates in my sights..the last group of days where I didn't reach out to her were among some of the most peaceful I've had in awhile..it's about that time for her sexy a$$ to cast out that line again and I'm really looking forward to the opportunity to not answer. Fishin in the wrong pond baby. Haha!

 

[Zarky]

She's BSing you, as you have already guessed (but are in denial about).

A 25 year old who's really into you doesn't give a sh*t about your wife.

Her interest level is waning and she's pinning the blame on your situation. Date other women and watch her come running back.

 

[Aristippus]

A 25 year old who's really into you doesn't give a sh*t about your wife.

Unfortunately, this is true. If a woman is really into you and you're married, she will relish the idea of stealing you away from your wife. A lot of women get off on the idea of being the one who snatched a good man away from his woman and into her bed.

Like the others mentioned, her interest is dropping. Be glad that you had your fun and now she's losing interest. I don't think she would make good relationship material and you really don't need to be in a rebound relationship where your judgement is skewed. Either date other women or forget women for right now and simply enjoy some peace of mind.