I'm missing something here

[thatguy33]

So I met a girl through a friend one night while out. At first I wasn't that interested but now I am. We didn't exchange numbers than but she friended me on facebook. Then we facebook chatted a few nights in a row, then she started texting me. We hung out after she got done work just for a little while, good night kiss and all. The next night took her to dinner and a bar; went back to her place and fooled around most of the night. She kept texting me, hung out again watched a movie at her place and slept over (no sex yet though). At that point which is the last time I saw her she was still totally interested, no disputing that. I went out of town for 4 days and she texted me everyday I was gone, even while she was doing ladies night with the girls. When I got back I threw out letting me know when you're off so we can hang again, and not I haven't heard from her for three days. Not even any funny random texts like before.

What the hell am I missing here......

 

[5string]

Suspect she swung to another branch. My guess anyway.

 

[thatguy33]

Suspect she swung to another branch. My guess anyway.

Due to the timeline I can't think of a single day where she would have had a chance to meet / hangout with anyone else unless she was txting me while she was literally banging Someone else.

 

[thatguy33]

bump...

 

[ARrocket]

Don't over-think these things. You'll drive yourself crazy. Your best move would be to call her up or text her and set up a specific time and place for you two to get together. None of that "let me know when you're free" crap...that's WEAK!!!! Set something up specific. YOU are the man and YOU need to be in charge. IF she still is unresponsive or evades meeting up a couple more times, forget her. But until then, YOU are the one calling the shots. Always remember that

 

[wasted-nick]

Could she be a bit disappointed that you didn't bang her when you stayed over? Thinking maybe you should have made more of an attempt there??

I'm thinking if you stayed over night and didn't have sex, somethings wrong there... not necessarily with you...

If she's bold enough to let you stay over so soon, surely she's bold enough for sex (almost a social requirement these days). Did you try to get down with her and were denied?

 

[Iceberg]

Could she be a bit disappointed that you didn't bang her when you stayed over? Thinking maybe you should have made more of an attempt there??

I'm thinking if you stayed over night and didn't have sex, somethings wrong there... not necessarily with you...

If she's bold enough to let you stay over so soon, surely she's bold enough for sex (almost a social requirement these days). Did you try to get down with her and were denied?

That's what I'm thinking.

If you don't escalate when the opportunity is laid out for you, the girls don't look at you the same way.

I've made this mistake a few times in the past. A girl wants you to be sexually dominant.

 

[wasted-nick]

Don't over-think these things. You'll drive yourself crazy. Your best move would be to call her up or text her and set up a specific time and place for you two to get together. None of that "let me know when you're free" crap...that's WEAK!!!! Set something up specific. YOU are the man and YOU need to be in charge. IF she still is unresponsive or evades meeting up a couple more times, forget her. But until then, YOU are the one calling the shots. Always remember that

I agree somewhat, but if he contacted her last, the ball is in her court - don't contact her yet. Wait a few more days - if no contact still, you could give her one last call (I personally wouldn't). If she's still flaky then, write it off as a loss.

 

[Kailex]

It's actually quite simple why she stopped talking to you. I thought someone else would have gotten to it by now...

You were TOO available to her. Although it seems like a good thing at first that she wants to hang out with you so much, it's actually a bad thing to always say "Yes". As a man, it's our duty to turn her down and learn how to say "No". Counter-intuitive? Maybe, but women make no sense anyway.

So I met a girl through a friend one night while out. At first I wasn't that interested but now I am. We didn't exchange numbers than but she friended me on facebook. Then we facebook chatted a few nights in a row, then she started texting me.

Already here... it begins.
Okay, so she found you on Facebook. Fine. You should have gotten the number right away and then NOT text her or have Facebook chat sessions. You gave away all of your "mystery" by doing so.

We hung out after she got done work just for a little while, good night kiss and all.

So you went out... kissed... perfect!

The next night took her to dinner and a bar; went back to her place and fooled around most of the night.

Whoa... the NEXT night?

Why the NEXT night? You two barely know each other and you saw her two days in a row? That's already telling her that you pretty much have nothing else going on in your life and that you are already her #1 option. Sick, isn't it? I hate that it works that way... but it does...

But here's the worst offender.
Not only did you give her a Day 2 on the SECOND DAY, but you went to her place... and fooled around. Why didn't you seal the deal?
Did you stay over?

She kept texting me, hung out again watched a movie at her place and slept over (no sex yet though).

Was this on the third day? Fourth day of having gone out with her? It seems to me that you went out with her a few times in the FIRST week. Is this an incorrect assessment?

What IS clear as crystal is that TWICE you were at her house and TWICE you didn't plow through to get laid.

How come?

At that point which is the last time I saw her she was still totally interested, no disputing that.

I'm disputing it.

I went out of town for 4 days and she texted me everyday I was gone, even while she was doing ladies night with the girls. When I got back I threw out letting me know when you're off so we can hang again, and not I haven't heard from her for three days. Not even any funny random texts like before.

And ANOTHER offender here...
You're a MAN, take the lead. You're asking her to tell you when she's off to hang out again?

Why couldn't you just tell her that you two were going out and state a time and a place?

She basically thought you were one way and you essentially showed her you were a nice guy. She might have thought at one point that you were one bad-ass MOFO but after two nights at her place and no sex and then coming back from a trip and leaving the ball in her court, she probably decided you weren't man enough for her.

So in conclusion:

A combination of things - Too much availability, lack of lead when you came back, two nights at her place and not getting down and dirty = She thinks you're not man enough for her.

What the hell am I missing here......

You missed out on some poonanieeee...

 

[thatguy33]

To add some info to many of your great points....

It was a week before we actually hung out after meeting, than it was two days in a row

That night yes I stayed over, were where at a bar and a little tipsy. She blew me and than passed out.....

The next time was four days away from that night....She wouldn't let me leave the next day, I was almost late for work.

Yes I probably should have plowed through, but it is what it is right now and just hope thats not it.

I just moved to a new city, and I couldn't hide the fact she was the number one option. Hell she was pretty much the only option as I know just a couple people here.

It seems hard to make plans, her schedule is never close to the same. So if I just tell her.

It seems almost impossible for me to say no, maybe cause I wanna hang with her that much, or maybe because I am a big pu$$y. Either way, I hope I hear from her, but in reality Im pretty sure I F'd it up.

 

[thatguy33]

test

 

[thatguy33]

I posted a post that doesn't appear, hopefully this does. In short (cause I don't feel like retyping everything) she blew me the first night and passed out, yes I stayed over.

Its hard to not be that available cause I live in a new city. Just wish I didn't F this up already!!

 

[Bible_Belt]

I haven't heard from her for three days...

What the hell am I missing here......

She probably got her period. Or hemorrhoids. Or a herpes outbreak :nervous:

Whatever it is, it's very likely not your fault and has very little to do with you.

 

[thatguy33]

I doubt it, my man Kailex makes great sense.

 

[thatguy33]

****...anyone paying attention I just got a text....advice PLEASE

 

[wasted-nick]

What does it say? Don't respond yet...

 

[thatguy33]

cheesy ****...."how was your day"

 

[Pimply_Pimp]

Perhaps you haven't had much sexual experience?

I was in your shoes years ago. I had no sexual experience and I was over this girl's house watching a movie with her and we were just laying on the bed. I wanted to make a move so bad but since I had no experience (she didn't know that though), I didn't know what to do or how to do it. I was saying to myself in my head "man o man I missed the boat when I was 15. What happened to my sexual experience when I was younger? I had none!" as we were just laying in her bed. I was saying to myself "just do it!" but then saying to myself "do you even know what to do? You're gonna be terrible and laughed out the house!"

It can be very tough trying to be sexual when you don't know what the hell you are doing and have zero experience. Before that time, my only experience was making out with one girl.

Of course, this girl wasn't interested in me any more after that night. But, you live and learn.

If you do have a lot of sexual experience, then I have to ask you if you are possibly g.ay.

 

[Igetit!]

cheesy ****...."how was your day"

Uhh.....that's it? That's the text she sent you?

You mean you need advice on how to respond to that?

Oh brother....


Look dude,just send her a text back telling her how your day was,and try to throw something emotional in there that happened....any emotion:excitement,funny,happy,dangerous,etc.

then ask her how her day was. After that,just tell her you have to go and you'll talk to her later,but whatever you do.....


DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT A DATE OR YOU TWO SEEING EACH OTHER.


Just tell her about your day,ask her about hers,then end the convo. If she mentions something about you two seeing each other or getting together,DON'T SAY YES. Just tell her that you're going to be a little tied up at the time she suggested but maybe you two can get together later (at a time that you suggest).


Now,if she doesn't say anything about you two getting together,then just end the convo and DON'T CALL HER/CONTACT HER AGAIN.


It's possible that her pulling this disappearing act on you was some sort of test to see how you'd react. Kailex was right,you were too available. Maybe her pulling back was her way to see if you'd crumble and get all needy on her.



She needs to see that her being absent from your life had NO EFFECT on you whatsoever,and that you're just as whole,just as complete,just as fulfilled,and just as happy without her as you were when you two were spending all that time together.

 

[wasted-nick]

Igetit is right on. OR you could call bawling like a little girl crying, saying over and over "WHY? WHY? WHY?! Three days you didn't text! WHY?" But, I'm guessing Igetit's advice may work too...