I'm Looking For Advice on Building Sexual Stamina/Endurance

[DonWon]

First, if this should be in the Health Forum I understand why it may be moved. Although this is supposed to be the Mature forum, I've tried to not be too explicit or graphic in hopes to respect the crowd here and get some genuine insight. Onto the story.

I've been working on resolving my PE problem. I've been working with Kegels for a while, and I believe I'm experiencing some benefits, as when I am near climax, I can actually use my muscles to hold off ejaculation whereas before I could do nothing to stop anything from happening. Naturally, when you're at that peak, it's no holding it off any longer.

Anyway, I haven't resolved the issue. When I'm with my lady friend, she'll give me a hand job and I have no issues with climaxing on the spot. Sometimes she will keep on until I will...and sometimes it just won't happen. I feel like I can mentally control this. When we actually engage in the actual sex, this is when my heart starts beating fast, and it is usually shortly thereafter that I cannot contain myself.My mind tells me that my Kegels are probably somewhat effective but my body reacts against me (fast heartbeat, etc). I have been trying to understand how much is mental vs physical.

What are some thoughts as to what is happening and how I can best get over this? Lucky, I bounce back for a second go round, and that second time around is cool..erection lasts, and the second climax doesn't come until a long time. My one guy says he paces himself b/c that second time around is hard to get...which I'm sure he's talking about the erection.

I guess I was hoping on some insight on how to pace myself and to really mature in this area so I can have a "normal" sex life in this respect. I'm not sure if it's typical for most guys to have one good session and then break and start again OR, get a first climax off relatively soon and then have a better second session.

Sorry so long...

Thanks in advance

 

[cave dweller]

positions.....

Hey,

I have had many 2 hour rides, before I would shoot.....

The key, you ask????????

I keep changing positions.

ie:

Start in the 'doggy'.

Change to the side.

Go to the mission.

Go back to the--(you get the idea)

Good luck.

cave dweller

 

[ghostin]

any other tips?

 

[DonWon]

Originally posted by MFinnegan
Hey there, this is some stuff that works for me, your mileage may vary.
Breath deep, slow and into the bottom of the lungs.

I know this one can be a mood killer but.... stop, stop moving altogether before your going to ***. Do yer kegal squeeze or whatever, and let the sensation go away. I have found that once I hold it off once I can go for a long time (often as long as I want) without it returning.

Hope some of this helps

First, thanks for the comments. The slow breathing is kind of hard for me to master...especially when your heart is beating fast. I just cannot perceive breathing slow while having sex...which often isn't a slow moving experience. I don't quite get how to implement this. I almost think that slow-stroking it would help in this area, but my girl likes to go fast...so oh well.

About stopping when you feel the sensation, I've tried that too. Stop...give it a couple of seconds to take some deep breaths, and resume. Unfortunately, the sensation damn near instantly comes back soon after we resume, and I know no one's advocating "taking ten" before resuming! Have you had this happen before in your earlier stages?

 

[DonWon]

Re: positions.....

Originally posted by cave dweller
Hey,

I have had many 2 hour rides, before I would shoot.....

The key, you ask????????

I keep changing positions.

ie:

Start in the 'doggy'.

Change to the side.

Go to the mission.

Go back to the--(you get the idea)

Good luck.

cave dweller

Thanks cave dweller. Two hours seems long, and I wish I could get that kind of stamina. I'm almost thinking mine is mostly mental. How do you avoid bringing on an early orgasm? Is it solely by changing the positions?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Aerobic exercise. Since I've been bike racing (pedal), my stamina has skyrocketed. As long as I got a good nights sleep the night before, I forgo alcohol and its not a race day, a couple of hours doesn't seem like that much of a stretch (as long as I very the positions).

 

[torqueboxer]

When you feel like you are going to "go", stop before you even feel the first contraction. Then rub her butt or back for 5-10 sec while still inside, then continue. When it seems like you cant hold out any longer change positions, that usually takes 5-15 sec..enough for it to die down again. After a few rounds of this you will get less and less sensitive to wanting to blow. Not only that but every time you get close but dont "go" it "primes the pump" so to saty and will create a "porno" style shot. LOL Also experiment with different condom combos, double up if you are really sensitive that will kill some feeling and help out.

I do PC excercises and can maintain an erection even after "shooting" not rock hard but at least 3/4 hard that she wont notice and I will just keep going as I was.

Also if you KNOW you are going to be getting it on "rub one off" about 15 minutes before sex that will get the easy one out of the way.

That always worked for me back in the day. Good luck!!!

 

[sky]

I don't know why, but strong stomach muscles have numerous effects on sexual performance and desire. Include that with everyone else's advice and soon your girl will need a bible and a seatbelt to have sex with you. The bible to call Jesus and the seatbelt just to hold on!

 

[DonWon]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Aerobic exercise. Since I've been bike racing (pedal), my stamina has skyrocketed. As long as I got a good nights sleep the night before, I forgo alcohol and its not a race day, a couple of hours doesn't seem like that much of a stretch (as long as I very the positions).

First, this isn't an annoying thread bump. I am just now getting my internet back.

About the aerobic exercise - maybe I didn't posit my problem well. That kind of stamina is okay for me. I'm talking about the stamina in pacing my ejaculation. My heart beats very fast and I think this adds pressure to my situation.

I've always had luck with that one after I figured it out.

Originally posted by MFinnegan

Well, how do you do with her on top? Get her up there, and just be a big ol' rod for her to get herself off on. It think its easy to control yourself while on the bottom.

As far as breathing slow, it is a bit of a trick to get yourself to breathe deep while you are totally pounding someone, but it's not impossible. Just takes a little discipline. The suggestion for getting aerobic is a good one, i think.

Good luck.

There must be something about the aerobic exercise that I'm missing. I will have to look into that. How does aerobic exercise help my issue?Also, I'll have to see what happens with her on top. It's been a while, but I know I still go, but not quite as quick. This isn't saying anything though. I do Kegels, or so I think I do, but they don't see to help. I can tell that they work because I feel how they try to restrain myself when it's damn too late. Aren't they supposed to suppress your urge?

Lastly, I've read that masturbation is a good idea if you know you'll be having sex (like in There's Something About Mary). It makes sense because you won't go into the situation loaded up, and if you do it before you mess around, you should be able to get that second erection without worry of an early shoot. I said that when she jacks me off, I can maintain not ejaculating. It sounds like masturbation is one famous aid, but so is Kegels. Are they supposed to be utilized as one choice over the other, or should they be used together?

 

[ThinWhiteDuke]

Screw 'til you're almost ready to blow, pull out and lick her cliit awhile, screw in a different postion 'til your ready to blow, go back down again, etc......

 

[CLOONEY]

You wearing a condom for this or not? I honeslty find, wearing a condom makes me be able to go for a long long time before cuming. Further, if you are pretty drunk, you can go longer. Relaxing can help. Also, if you have sex often, by the time you are on your 2nd or 3rd time, you will find it HARD to ***, especially once you get to around the 4th time. Trouble with this is, it tires you out completely and then you have trouble keeping or even getting it up!

Just a few thoughts.

 

[solace]

I had some buddies that helped me back in high school with these issues. I guessed I asked the right guys because I got excellent advice that worked for me fairly quick.

1. It takes practice but when you get the feeling that you are about to bust a load, stop pumping completely, concentrate and hold it in like it is a strong stream of piss. Eventually the contractions will stop and you will be able to go a bit longer. Yes, she will ask you what is wrong. Just tell her and she will probably appreciate your effort.


2. Don't shoot the load inside of her even if she is on birth control pills. There is something about that load that once it gets all gooey, it causes much less friction and it is harder for you to get it back up. Swirt it on a towel or something and put it back in and you may just be able to maintain an appreciable woody to go at it some more.


3. Beat it sometime before you go at it ( I learned this one from an old man who used to get a lot of @$$ around my neighborhood-young and old).

He told me to beat-off a short while before I was going to have sex. As many know, it is almost always hard to get that second one off after the first one was shot out only a short while ago. For instance, if she say she will be over in 30 minutes, 10 minutes before her expected arrival, beat it!


Before long, you won't have to even think about any of this stuff and you will actually be peeved at how long it takes for you to get off.

 

[DonWon]

Originally posted by CLOONEY
You wearing a condom for this or not? I honeslty find, wearing a condom makes me be able to go for a long long time before cuming. Further, if you are pretty drunk, you can go longer. Relaxing can help. Also, if you have sex often, by the time you are on your 2nd or 3rd time, you will find it HARD to ***, especially once you get to around the 4th time. Trouble with this is, it tires you out completely and then you have trouble keeping or even getting it up!

Just a few thoughts.

No condom. Been a long time since I had one. Honestly, there was any significant difference when I did use one. I'd like to think I'm relaxed, but I guess I'm not. I'm always eager to get it going...the talking and foreplay etc. Once it's time to go in, my heart is already beating fast. Should this be happening, or should I have a relatively slow beating pace? I've experienced the second erection, and that one's all good, because it is hard to go...I guess I don't understand PE. Is it that most guys either:

A) Get that first quick one out the way by either masturbation or sex and then they're all good for not nutting anytime soon again because once the second erection comes round it hard to go again.

OR

B) They just have found a way to control/manage their bodies and mindset, so they just have sex and can control their ejaculatory urge so that they have one good blow but not until after some decent time has past.

I really am curious b/c in my mind, I thought masturbation was for if you fell under Option A, and working exercises like Kegels. aerobics, and breathing techniques sound like you would practice these to utilize option B.

Maybe it's a bit of both. Hopefully someone can clarify.

 

[DonWon]

Originally posted by solace
I had some buddies that helped me back in high school with these issues. I guessed I asked the right guys because I got excellent advice that worked for me fairly quick.

1. It takes practice but when you get the feeling that you are about to bust a load, stop pumping completely, concentrate and hold it in like it is a strong stream of piss. Eventually the contractions will stop and you will be able to go a bit longer. Yes, she will ask you what is wrong. Just tell her and she will probably appreciate your effort.


2. Don't shoot the load inside of her even if she is on birth control pills. There is something about that load that once it gets all gooey, it causes much less friction and it is harder for you to get it back up. Swirt it on a towel or something and put it back in and you may just be able to maintain an appreciable woody to go at it some more.


3. Beat it sometime before you go at it ( I learned this one from an old man who used to get a lot of @$$ around my neighborhood-young and old).

He told me to beat-off a short while before I was going to have sex. As many know, it is almost always hard to get that second one off after the first one was shot out only a short while ago. For instance, if she say she will be over in 30 minutes, 10 minutes before her expected arrival, beat it!


Before long, you won't have to even think about any of this stuff and you will actually be peeved at how long it takes for you to get off.

Solace, thanks for #2 and #3. I've heard of #3 and #2 was something truly new to hear. Kudos.

About #1, I've tried that, but as soon as I'm in there again, I instantly resume at the near climax that I was at before. One or two pumps and it's over. Should I be really waiting a while before I go back in? I've tried holding it, but by then it's damn near too late.

 

[nosexbox]

Sounds easy and lame, but...

grip your wang around the base with your finger and thumb, TIGHT, and squeeze. Don't know why, it works.