I'm in over my head. Help!

[ZeeOwl]

I was a self-educating RAFC for a few years before finding this site. I've been hanging around here for a few months now, reading threads and part of the bible. It's greatly accelerated the process, but I'm still far from DJ status. I'm currently in Week 2 of DJ Boot Camp.

I've been using the internet personals as a way to meet women on and off for a while. My past success with them was barely passable, but it's gotten fairly good lately with all the wonderful info available here and in the DYD eBook.

I've eMailed with about 30 women over the past 2 months, actually met about 10 of them for dates, one of which I'll be seeing for a 3rd soon. A few days ago, I got a reply back from one of my prospects which I answered today.

Now here's the dilemma. This woman blows all the others I've had dealings with completely away. She's physically gorgeous (a 10 to me, I'm not kidding.) For the morbidly curious, hehe:
http://img.reseaucontact.com/data/photos/700x525/101/1012775_3037358.jpg
The highest I'd seen so far is an 8 (she's the one I'm still in contact with). Now if this was all there was to her, I wouldn't care much, as appearance isn't the major factor in attraction for me. But she's also really nice and mature, no "I'm gorgeous" attitude at all, which is what turns me off about the HB8+'s. She did mention she likes being pampered and taken care of, but that's pretty common for a woman. She also seems really co-operative and the type that aims to please. She actually even mentioned in a roundabout way that her latest ex was really possesive and controlling, and she'd gone along with it for 6 years. Which is weird because with her looks, she could get pretty much any guy she wants begging at her feet. She's 34, no kids (doesn't want any), decorator, very pretty with a perfect bod (to my taste). To top it all off, she's bi.

So that's it. I know I haven't actually met her yet, but I have enough experience with this internet thing to be able to size people up fairly well after a few eMails. The next eMail I get from her I will reply to with a phone-number request. She's not perfect of course, but the closest I've seen in a very very very long time. She's classy but not pretentious. This woman is obvious one-itis material. But I know I have to keep my cool. Stay calm, don't drool. I know the worst that can happen is I'll blow it. I could just pass, but then I'd be guaranteed not to get her. Gotta at least give it a shot. Help! I think I'm in over my head here guys. I need, pointers, input, anything...

6 months ago, I wouldn't even have bothered writing to a woman like this, because I would have assumed she was only interested in men who are super good looking, rich, or both. I'm neither. Thanks for encouraging me to get into this mess guys. haha!

 

[Slickster]

First of all Owl. Get a Hold of Yourself!

For Godsake man you haven't even met her face to face yet. What if her voice sounds like a man or worse yet a high pitched whiney mouse?

Just a couple examples. Anyways you have NO idea what this person is really like or if you two will even get along. She could be a total idiot in person. Sure emails can tell you something but everyone paints a pretty picture when getting to know someone inorder to attract them.

The only advice you need is to STOP thinking the way you are. Go into this expecting nothing. She has to qualify herself to you before you have and feelings about her. You're getting yourself in a tizzy over a hot babe. Not very Don Juan of you.

Seriously man. Never underestimate your ability to attract multiple HB's. Believe that! Cuz its true.

 

[ManOMan]

Man! that girl is ssmmmmoookin'!!

I would beware tho stud, it looks too much like a modeling pose photo to be real.

How did you hook her anyway? being c/f? or do you go off reading her profile and changing your personality to suit hers?

 

[italostud]

Originally posted by Slickster
First of all Owl. Get a Hold of Yourself!

She has to qualify herself to you before you have and feelings about her.

This, I have found, is one of the more important aspects of DJing. When I used to date years ago(AFC style) I would always be worried about "Am I good enough for her?" "Does she find me attractive?". Once you start thinking the other way around "Lets see her show me that she's worthy of ME" "Lets see if she passes MY tests", it will really help you because you won't feel as if you have anything to prove. It will allow you to be yourself and you will come off as more confident. BTW, that chick is hot, but I'd ask for a few more pics. Remember a picture is just a fraction of a second in time. I'm sure even the nastiest chicks can be hot for 1/1000 of a second. Ok, bye now

 

[racerX]

If you havent spoke to her on the phone yet, it could be a fake ad. There are alot of 12 year old boys downloading model pix from the internet & taking on there identity. Believe it when you see her.

 

[princelydeeds]

Take it from me pictures LIE! Dont put this chick on a pedestal ever but especially not before you've seen her. If shes so hot whats she doing lookin for love on the net? I mean a woman that pretty just has to walk out of her door to find a guy.

Just curious, why is Bi Sexuality a plus? I understand the two women fantasy but I certainly don't see that as a desirable trait for someone with whom Im seeking a reationship. IMHO

 

[ZeeOwl]

Originally posted by Slickster
First of all Owl. Get a Hold of Yourself!

Thanks man, I needed that.

For Godsake man you haven't even met her face to face yet. What if her voice sounds like a man or worse yet a high pitched whiney mouse?

Hahaha! Now that's funny. I doubt possibility #1 from her physique, but #2 is possible...

Just a couple examples. Anyways you have NO idea what this person is really like or if you two will even get along. She could be a total idiot in person. Sure emails can tell you something but everyone paints a pretty picture when getting to know someone inorder to attract them.

The only advice you need is to STOP thinking the way you are. Go into this expecting nothing. She has to qualify herself to you before you have and feelings about her. You're getting yourself in a tizzy over a hot babe. Not very Don Juan of you.

That's the mindset I know I should have. I just panicked. Never been in this situation before. Thanks for the reminder.

Seriously man. Never underestimate your ability to attract multiple HB's. Believe that! Cuz its true.

That's where I still have a lot of work to do. I'm not there yet. But there's hope...

 

[Austin Allegro]

This is a serious case of oneitis before you've even met! A lot of profiles are fakes, especially on free dating sites. And if a woman has a too good to be true pic and comes out and SAYS she's bi, I would be very wary. The only attractive openly bi women I've met have been flakes. Still she's worth meeting I suppose but for heaven's sake stop obsessing about her!

 

[ZeeOwl]

Originally posted by ManOMan
Man! that girl is ssmmmmoookin'!!

Tell me about it I don't usually get hot and bothered about a photo, but this one is something to behold. The funny part is she didn't have a photo in her profile when I first wrote to her. Haha! Joke's on me.

I would beware tho stud, it looks too much like a modeling pose photo to be real.

I'd considered that possibility. I've yet to meet a woman with a fake photo. Maybe I've been lucky. Though like I said in my original post, I've never written to one this hot looking before. And the 8 I was talking about has a really bad photo in her profile, she looks like a 6 in it. Didn't even recognize her when we met. lol

How did you hook her anyway? being c/f? or do you go off reading her profile and changing your personality to suit hers?

I used my personal variation on the Krynnster approach. There's an article on it somewher on SoSuave. It's a combination of mystery and originality. I use 4 different initial approache types, depending on the type of profile. The others are C&F, LJBF and AFC.

 

[ZeeOwl]

Originally posted by italostud
When I used to date years ago(AFC style) I would always be worried about "Am I good enough for her?" "Does she find me attractive?". Once you start thinking the other way around "Lets see her show me that she's worthy of ME" "Lets see if she passes MY tests", it will really help you because you won't feel as if you have anything to prove. It will allow you to be yourself and you will come off as more confident.

Yeah, I know that, in theory. I lost it back there. I'm still having trouble getting into that mindset, even with not so hot chicks.

BTW, that chick is hot, but I'd ask for a few more pics. Remember a picture is just a fraction of a second in time. I'm sure even the nastiest chicks can be hot for 1/1000 of a second. Ok, bye now

Well, I don't really feel the need to ask for more pics. I'll get her # and talk live to set up the meeting anyways. Always do. Don't want to come off as paranoïd. And if she is a fake, she'll either not show, or have the shortest coffee date in history.
Not sure about that last comment, but it's an interesting thought...

 

[ZeeOwl]

Originally posted by racerX
If you havent spoke to her on the phone yet, it could be a fake ad. There are alot of 12 year old boys downloading model pix from the internet & taking on there identity. Believe it when you see her.

I'm sure there are. But I think I can spot those (the ones written by 12-year-olds). The last eMail she sent could not have been written by a teen, and I doubt a guy. Just has too much of a female tone to it. The picture is questionable, I agree. But like I said before, it wasn't there when I first wrote to her. I guess I'll find out soon enough. Next eMail I get will be followed by a phone # request. If she's a fake, she likely won't want to give it to me.

 

[DJ_Dork]

34 years old? She's probably a 7-8 - definetely not a 10 from the pic. well.. I dunno how old are you.. but 34 years and single raises a psycho flag especially a girl that is above 6 rating. And from your post.. you seem to have a perfectionist motto about seeking a perfect relationship/perfect body which also raises a psycho flag. Let me tell you something, psychos go well together and they end up in a awful relationships.

 

[ZeeOwl]

Originally posted by princelydeeds
Take it from me pictures LIE! Dont put this chick on a pedestal ever but especially not before you've seen her. If shes so hot whats she doing lookin for love on the net? I mean a woman that pretty just has to walk out of her door to find a guy.

Like I mentioned earlier, pic wasn't there originally. I panicked when I saw it. As to what she's doing on the internet... You have to remember she's 34. A lot of women in the 30+ age range like to use the net for LTR hunting, because they can shop for a candidate based on set criteria, among a huge choice of available men. The M/F ratio on the net is about 3:1, it's female heaven. She may be hot looking, but she's still a woman. She's probably sick of the bar scene, and being gawked at like a piece of meat, like most 30+ year-olds.

Just curious, why is Bi Sexuality a plus? I understand the two women fantasy but I certainly don't see that as a desirable trait for someone with whom Im seeking a relationship. IMHO

I guess it depends on point of view. For some guys, there is no advantage. For me there is. Here's my angle on it:
a) While I'm not heavily into the 3-some fantasy (I've never done it), I have nothing against the idea either. If the possibility ever came up, I might be inclined to try. Having a bi lover gives me that possibilty. It also opens up the potential for a whole world of other possibilities.
b) In my experience talking to bi friends, I've noticed that most of them have more interest in sex and a higher libido than the average straight female. I love sex, so that would play in my favour.
c) Most bi women like to get into the following scenario: they get into a STR or LTR with a guy (It's more socially acceptable, and fulfills their need for security which they can't get from another girl. They may be bi, but they're still female.), and then on occasion have a fling with another bi female. That fulfills all their needs. Some will rather get into an exclusive relationship with a guy or a girl, but that's exceptional. So if she want's the freedom to see other girls when she feels the need to, it would be pretty unreasonable of her to object to my doing the same. I might never feel the need to cash in on it, but I like the freedom this gives me.
I like to have options. This gives me some.

 

[Player_Supreme]

The Rules To Play By:

A Player


* keeps his emotions to himself.
* is his own best company.
* doesn't get paid for screwing. He gets his pay from always having
the right thing to say to his females.
* with sense never lets a female go who still has some trick in her.
* is really a b*tch who has reversed the game.
* should be prince charming to the females. They should think you're
GOD!!!
* should always have one thought in his head, Play Or Die!!!
* should control the whole female, be the boss of her life, even her
thoughts.
* should always be determined in any and everything.
* should always recognize and respect other Players.
* should never accept anything but his money.
* must be serious!!!
* has to be married, married to the game!!!
* could cut his d*ck off and still Play his ass off!!!
* is the lonliest person in the world.
* wants any female who can make him money.
* cannot feel like a Player with one female, raise a stable.
* loves it when his women love him.
* has to use great pressure.

Women....

* A Player with a fine female has to keep his game tight.
* Females always try to find a weakness in a Player.

* A pretty black female and a white female are alike. They will try
destroy your stable and leave you broke.
* The way you start with a female is the way you end with her. Play the Game
hard from the start.
* If you chase a female you get a weak one, if you stalk her you get
a strong one.
* Don't give a trife broke female a second chance.

* Always keep your women on mental file.
* There is nothing more important than what makes a new female tick
and why. Make her tell you her life story.
* The tougher you are, the more she will love you.
* Make her convince you, that she should be your girl.
* It's better to have no female than half of a female.
* If your women act up, put them in check quick.
* Never put two new females together, they will plot on you.
* It thrills women when their Man makes a mistake. Don't make any.
* Never let your women break your rules.
* Never let your women get loud with you.
* Never neglect your women.
* If your women gets stolen the reason why is because your game was
not tight enough.
* A female in strange surroundings is more dependent on her Man.
.
* Women think twice about leaving a rich Player, so work on your front and clout.
* For every girl that leaves you, get two.
* A Player should always tell his women something new everyday to hold
them.
* Run your women like a business.
* Keep your women well maintained.

Remember....


* there isn't a female you can't do without.
* just like drugs, don't get high off your own supply and what your
supply is, is women.
* the world is nothing but a b*tch, and you are her pimp!!!!
* earn your Player degree in Playerology.
* you are not a gentleman, you are a Player!!!
* you only get great by Playing by the rules.
* you don't have to Play, you got to Play the game.
* it's a violation of the Players laws to quit a female who is bringing
you love and attention.
* the Players game is not for kids.
* never confide in your women, keep your thoughts a secret.
* Playing isn't a sex game, it's a mind game.
* just like a company, downsize and upgrade if you have to.
* true friends mean more than any female.
* in a Player's life, yesterday means nothing, today is everything!!!
* the game of being a Player is like a chess game, you must think before you move.


Always....


* find ways to keep your women without kissing their ass.
* seek knowledge about the game.
* be positive in everything you do, especially in this game.
* take care of the little things and if the female is qualified make
her take care of the big things.
* keep your mind on your money and your own life!!!
* live by the rules you set down on your women.
* keep the Player / female relationship well defined.
* be a puzzle to your women, that's a way how to keep them.
* remember what you are, a Player!!!
* remember, the only heaven for a Big Daddy Player is one filled with women and money.
* remember a Player's wardrobe has to be neat and clean, his ride must
be eye catching.


A playa only plays for so long, then he's played out. A hustler only
hustles for so long, then he's hustled out. When it’s time to turn in your player card
Just Do It! Settle down and leave the game alone and have a happy relationship and
Live off the memories of the past!

 

[ZeeOwl]

Originally posted by Austin Allegro
A lot of profiles are fakes, especially on free dating sites. And if a woman has a too good to be true pic and comes out and SAYS she's bi, I would be very wary. The only attractive openly bi women I've met have been flakes. Still she's worth meeting I suppose but for heaven's sake stop obsessing about her!

I've yet to run into a fake profile (and I've met at least 20 women). But to be honest, I've never eMailed with one this hot or bi before. Which is what made me panic (especially since I hadn't seen the pic when I first wrote to her). But I'm calmer now. Thanks for the warning though. Phone is the next step.

 

[Player_Supreme]

You must be a caucasian to be into this bi thing. If a woman still feels the need to cheat on you with another woman then you must be doing something wrong.

Now women use the whole bi thing to attract white dudes, and wear it like a badge of honor. It's funny how times have changed.

When I was a kid you woulda got laughed at if your were a bi female...now it's considered this fake cool thing. Oh well so be it.

I have never heard of a guy who had a girl who was bi and be happy at the same time. Your goal is to win her over mind, body and soul so she will only want to be with you.

Hot babe's are a dime a dozen. No big deal. treat her like that, especially since she is prolly used to idiots bowing down to her and kissing her arse all the time.

Be the one who stands out from the crowd. Be the ultimate player and you will win this one over.