I'm I just being insecure?

fasttrack

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I've been with my girlfriend now for about 7 months. THings are going great. Whenever I'm with someone, I want to feel like they're with me because they are super attracted to me in everyway. I want to feel the same about my girl. So far that's the way I've been feeling about her and I fee that she feels the same way about me...now here's my issue.

Before my girl met me...about 3 months or so before...she met a guy who she clicked with and they started to date for about a month or so (they saw each other quite a bit during this period of time) and then she ended it because she realized that he wasn't the guy for her. Anyway, during the final few weeks of when they were dating they started to have sex. Which I guess was just a natural progression. I had met my girl about a month after she broke things off with him. It was a fluke because she was just visiting my town for that particular day. Anyway, we hit it off from the first night(only kissed), so I got her number and we stayed in touch.

Since she lived 2 hours away and I have a sales job which takes me on the road quite a bit, I never really firgured that we would date seriously, but we stayed in touch and I made it up to see her about 2 times in two months, but then after that point it was steady and we've seen each other every weekend.

I guess the whole point of this is that it took us about 3 months before we started having sex, whereas with the other guy it only took them about 3 weeks. So, going back to my whole wanting to feel like my girl is super attracted to me above all others and not just settling...I'm almost feeling like she was more attracted to the other guy and that's why they slept together so much sooner.

I know it's kind of dumb, because they lived much closer and they saw each other much more often initially, but I was just thinking about it today and it made me really curious. Also, maybe it took her a longer time because she had told me that she felt stupid for making the move that early with the guy before she knew what he was all about.

Anyway, should I just let it go? Does any of this stuff even matter now? I know she loves me, but my ego just wants the superficial aspect to be in check as well.

Fasttrack
 

Mix

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Originally posted by fasttrack
I'm almost feeling like she was more attracted to the other guy and that's why they slept together so much sooner.
I understand what you're saying and the feeling associated with it but SERIOUSLY, this really doesn't matter and you know it. It's along the same lines as wondering if someone in her past sexed her better than you do. Worrying about stuff like that is pointless and is DEFINITELY ego-related and a possible sign of insecurity. Women care about how you make them feel. If she's happy around you, that's all that matters. Be confident in yourself.


I know it's kind of dumb, because they lived much closer and they saw each other much more often initially, but I was just thinking about it today and it made me really curious. Also, maybe it took her a longer time because she had told me that she felt stupid for making the move that early with the guy before she knew what he was all about.
You know the answer man. You've just said it yourself. You've said more in this paragraph than anyone on this board could ever tell you. We don't even have to point out that you don't see her as much or the fact that every situation has it's little nuances that makes it different.

Just because things happened differently with him doesn't mean it's a reflection of him as a person. It could have been circumstances.

Also, it can be a NEGATIVE thing when a girl has sex with someone else faster than she has sex with you. A lot of times if a woman REALLY, REALLY likes a man, she's more scared to "give it up" for fear that she will mess up a good thing. Women realize that once sex happens, the guy is more likely to leave or lose interest. So when they are HEAVILY into a guy on a level that's not superficial, SOMETIMES they move a little slower.

The bottom line is, you know that this curiosity of yours is stemming from insecurities. Hopefully, you will feel better when people mirror what you've already known. However, you need to get to the root of those insecurities and address the issues that cause them.

Boost your confidence, that never hurts.
 

duttylove

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You are thinking like a ho, you say you know she loves you, but you need some type of reasurance. This is what hos do.

They have to be reasured all the time so they play stupid games and hope there dumb ass boyfriend will play along to it soothing there ego.

From what ive read your relationship seems to be going fine. you are thinking to much abour her past relationship and comparing it to YOU. there could be alot of factors as to why she slept with that other guy faster than she slept with you. you are f**king her now so whats it matter.

in answer to your question. YES you are being unsecure and your thinking to much.
 

CraigMack

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I know it's kind of dumb,

You've got that 110% correct. It is dumb. Dumb as a sh*t brick kinda stupidity.

Women will make men that they really like wait for the sex. It's too bad she opened her big yapper and told you about the other guy, which is why your feeling stupidly insecure right now.

My suggestion:

Let it go. She is with you now and be glad you got a good girl on your side.
 

DeathDealer

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next time she opens her mouth about her ex's punch her in the mouth and show her whose da man!
 
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