Bah, I can't find girls that want to go out with me. I'm personally not into the club scene, so that's out (plus never been to successful at it anyways). And I haven't met any girl through my social circle in a while. So, I'm think I'm getting desperate. I'm thinking of asking my best female friend to set me up with one of her friends (I don't have a friend in mind). Is this a good idea?
Im grasping at straws; is it ok to ask a female friend to set me up with her friends?
- Thread starter Kal0051
- Start date
Forget about it. You're desperate and the girls will know that.
Start to focus on other areas of your life first including youself. Try improving body language and read some more on this site until you begin to understand how to attract women.
You'll get plenty of hot women in time if you just put some effect into making yourself the best you can be.
Start to focus on other areas of your life first including youself. Try improving body language and read some more on this site until you begin to understand how to attract women.
You'll get plenty of hot women in time if you just put some effect into making yourself the best you can be.
I am trying to make myself the best I can (getting a second degree, saving money, working out). I'm ok with body language, I can read people easily (actually freaked one of my co-workers out by guessing which of our co-workers he's hooked up with, he was trying to keep it a secret and I figured it out solely by how they interact and my own intuition). But at the same time I feel like I'm missing out at a part of life by not having any women in my life. Most of the girls I meet are in relationships.
Dont ask her to do anything more than introduce you to any girls she knows. You will come off as desperate, like they said above. Also, girls are horrible matchmakers. They will ruin your chances, and make it seem like they are trying to pawn you off, which is unattractive. You would have to train a girl to be your wing if you wanted this to work.
This is what a girl would do, if she agreed. She would introduce you, and tell the other girl what a NICE guy you are, and how lonely you are, and how you deserve a good girl, and blah blah, blah, thus making the girl think you are a total nice guy, wuss bag, loser.
A good wing-woman would do the opposite. She would casually tell her girlfriends that you are SOMEWHAT of a heartbreaker, and that your other girlfriends were/are super hot, and you broke up with them, because you felt they were using you just for really great sex, and you need something more after three months. She would also bring up your strong points in other womens presence, like "Hey Kal, I forgot to ask, how is {insert attractive hobby, accomplishment or quality here}. For me it would be, "When is your band playing again?" or something along those lines. Then, girl would be interested, and want to know more, and you can tell her a little bit about it, without it sounding like bragging.
Using me as an example again:
Wingwoman: "Hey horaholic, when is your band playing again?" turns to her girlfriend, "Have you seen his band? He is a really good guitar player, and looks really hot on stage. lol" then you act all modest about it. Target is now interested in you.
"setups" dont work, but good wingmanship can work very well, if they know what they're doing. I've told my friends to come up to me, while Im talking to a girl and shake my hand, and tell my how good my band was the other night. It totally works. Its almost better than the girl actually seeing it live, because they can use their imagination. Its DHV'ing without saying it yourself, and sound like you're bragging.
This is what a girl would do, if she agreed. She would introduce you, and tell the other girl what a NICE guy you are, and how lonely you are, and how you deserve a good girl, and blah blah, blah, thus making the girl think you are a total nice guy, wuss bag, loser.
A good wing-woman would do the opposite. She would casually tell her girlfriends that you are SOMEWHAT of a heartbreaker, and that your other girlfriends were/are super hot, and you broke up with them, because you felt they were using you just for really great sex, and you need something more after three months. She would also bring up your strong points in other womens presence, like "Hey Kal, I forgot to ask, how is {insert attractive hobby, accomplishment or quality here}. For me it would be, "When is your band playing again?" or something along those lines. Then, girl would be interested, and want to know more, and you can tell her a little bit about it, without it sounding like bragging.
Using me as an example again:
Wingwoman: "Hey horaholic, when is your band playing again?" turns to her girlfriend, "Have you seen his band? He is a really good guitar player, and looks really hot on stage. lol" then you act all modest about it. Target is now interested in you.
"setups" dont work, but good wingmanship can work very well, if they know what they're doing. I've told my friends to come up to me, while Im talking to a girl and shake my hand, and tell my how good my band was the other night. It totally works. Its almost better than the girl actually seeing it live, because they can use their imagination. Its DHV'ing without saying it yourself, and sound like you're bragging.
Igetit!
Moderator
I agree with Horaholic. A woman would have to be trained in order to be a good wingwoman.Kal0051 said:
What I would do if I were you would be to have her "unknowing" do wingwoman work for me.
I would talk about the girl I like in front of the chick you want to be your wingwoman.
I'd be like,"Sara" is lookin' nice today. I like the way she's looks in that skirt/dress/those jeans".
I'd say that as just an innocent observation to the girl who you wanted to set you up.
Then naturally,as all women do,she'll go back and tell the girl you like that you were talking about her. It'll make her feel good that a guy finds her attractive.
Then watch the way she starts to act around you.
It's basically the same as getting her to set you up only minus the pressure and expectation of her having to date/like you.
Just kind of mention the other girl to the "wingwoman" the same way you'd say you like a certain type of car as it passes by,just as a passing observation,AND NOT AS A TOPIC OF CONVERSATION.
Joe Stud
Master Don Juan
horaholic is right. but some (very few) chicks are naturals at being good wingwomen. find one, if you are inclined.
BTW... you dont have to LIKE the bar scene. Its not there for the liking... it's a hunting ground. Just like the cavemen didnt LIKE to hunt in the woods... you go there to get what you want/need. drink draft beer (cheapest and last long), and make the best of it
BTW... you dont have to LIKE the bar scene. Its not there for the liking... it's a hunting ground. Just like the cavemen didnt LIKE to hunt in the woods... you go there to get what you want/need. drink draft beer (cheapest and last long), and make the best of it
I still don't like the club scene, don't even like going there with my friends. We usually just go to a pub and there aren't tons of hot young girls there (usually more people in their late 20s, 30s, 40s).Joe Stud said:
I personally don't care if it's a "hunting ground", I don't enjoy being there and it shows.
I don't know if it's an age thing, but....
the women I know in their mid to late 30s are totally into being "referred" to a guy by their friends, especially after a divorce.
These women:
1) want to move on quickly with their lives after a divorce
2) want someone who's already been "vetted" by one of their friends because they don't want to go through all the crap again
From what I've seen, there isn't any negative stigma in the female world with being setup from a female friend. I don't think it makes you look desperate. The bigger problem is that some female friends like the idea of keeping you around as some kind of backup and helping you find a woman is not in their best interest. Of course these friends will never tell you this.
the women I know in their mid to late 30s are totally into being "referred" to a guy by their friends, especially after a divorce.
These women:
1) want to move on quickly with their lives after a divorce
2) want someone who's already been "vetted" by one of their friends because they don't want to go through all the crap again
From what I've seen, there isn't any negative stigma in the female world with being setup from a female friend. I don't think it makes you look desperate. The bigger problem is that some female friends like the idea of keeping you around as some kind of backup and helping you find a woman is not in their best interest. Of course these friends will never tell you this.
Giles
Don Juan
Could try the Boomhower Theory. Try to pickup every hb6 and up that u meet anywhere. CnF would be your best bet I imagine. You don't have to go to a club or be in a social scene for women to be there, but I do suggest keeping it outta the workplace and a few miles away from home. You got public transportation, stores, and maybe getting a small but vicious dog that you can walk at a park who could help be a successful wing/icebreaker.
I wouldn't suggest asking your friend to introduce you to women, I did this once about 3 years ago when I was in a sexual drought and she was a pig, but if you happen to make plans where she brings friends, bring your game, clear your mind then isolate and execute with confidence it might be fruitful. If she brings more than one friend never ever try to run game on all of them; girls talk.
I wouldn't suggest asking your friend to introduce you to women, I did this once about 3 years ago when I was in a sexual drought and she was a pig, but if you happen to make plans where she brings friends, bring your game, clear your mind then isolate and execute with confidence it might be fruitful. If she brings more than one friend never ever try to run game on all of them; girls talk.
Exhumed
Senior Don Juan
Now maybe I'm not the most qualified to give advice here, but I think you should definitely go with this idea. I've actually been "set up" with a girl twice in my life, once by a female friend and once by a male friend...the girl actually did a fantastic job, at the time I had not the slightest idea what I was doing...the three of us went out, and my friend actually grabbed my arm and put it around the girl, otherwise I wouldn't have started any kino...I was too ***** to kiss her so my friend yelled at me for it and set me straight lol. The guy set me up with a less attractive girl and basically DLV'd me to her all the time, not even realizing it.
So I'd make sure your female friend knew what she was doing and go for it. I don't understand why you wouldn't...if you're already just friends with a girl she probably already knows you're desperate, and you should use all the resources at your disposal. Why wouldn't you? Perhaps it's not the coolest way to meet a girl but you gotta start somewhere, and you can use the experience gained from hooking up with her friend in future situations.
So I'd make sure your female friend knew what she was doing and go for it. I don't understand why you wouldn't...if you're already just friends with a girl she probably already knows you're desperate, and you should use all the resources at your disposal. Why wouldn't you? Perhaps it's not the coolest way to meet a girl but you gotta start somewhere, and you can use the experience gained from hooking up with her friend in future situations.
She doesn't know I'm desperate. I do my best to play down my inability to get women. And when she does find out that I failed with a girl then I just pretend like it's no big deal. I don't want her to find out how much of a loser I am.Exhumed said:
thecurtainfalls
Senior Don Juan
Come on keyboard jockeys, no bad advice for this guy please. This is the worst thing I've read in this thread. You're desperate, so no sense hiding it? Yea, see how far that gets you. And now just being friends with a girl makes you desperate? Lol, I'd like to see your social circle. Sure, ask her to "set you up" so you can start down the traditional courtship/dating road that will scare the girl off and leave this guy beating his meat.Exhumed said:
OP, listen to IGetIt! Guess what...? He gets it! And he's absolutely right on this one. I didn't see anyone else mention his extremely helpful post that he made.
tricktickler
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Well from my experience its not a good idea...A while back I asked a female friend of mine to hook me up with one her friends cuz I looked on her facebook and realized she had alotta hot exotic friends... Well she decided 2 give me one of her friends numbers and I called her and we had a decent conversation...well she asked me 2 to look at her pics on facebook and she was a fat, ugly chick that I know I would have zero physical attraction for unless I forced myself to. I'll never ask that friend to hook me up again...
