Wasup Spang. I've been there.
About a year and a half ago I hooked up with this girl I was working with. The intention was not to make it serious as I had other women around me at the same time, and I knew better than to make her serious. Even though the signs were all around me (worked with her/saw her everyday, she cheated on her boyfriend with me, manipulative, daddy issues) I tried to make her exclusive anyway.
Needless to say it backfired in the worst possible way and it's taken me
almost two years to get over this girl. I eventually lost that job which was a blessing and a curse. I was finally free of seeing her everyday and the unbearable depression and blinding anger that brought, I had to give up my apartment since I couldn't afford it. I moved in with roomates and determined I had lost my way as a self-confident male and needed to figure out why I was still depressed over her almost two years later.
The problem I see with you and this random girl (and probably other women you interact with) is the same problem I had with my ex:
You are seeking approval of others to determine your worth. My major depression, as well as my failure to move on and be confident and successful with other women afterwards came from the fact that I liked getting attention from her so much that i depended on it to be happy. Not only that put I had a habit of getting close to other women in my past the same way.
Basically you, me as well as many men have a problem of confusing acceptance and attention from others as real value. That's not a way to live as when you fail to get that approval from another, or have the approval from a woman and then it suddenly is taken away from you (which happens often) you feel like your potential for happiness has been robbed from you and you can't get it back.
The best way to prevent this need for "societal approval acceptance" is to fix the person within. Get away from pickup, strategies about women for a few days or even weeks. Really think and figure out something you are interested in, a hobby you enjoy, activities you use to be into. Hang with friends and family. Learn something new, find something you always wanted to do but always made excuse not to do and go do those things! Really enjoy life instead of living off others acceptance of you. Accept yourself by making yourself happy at all times! :box:
Don't do these things to impress anyone. Don't do them simply to seem like a big deal to girls. Do these things to find out about yourself, learn what is truly valuable to you and your life, Do things that make you happy simply because it's positive and you enjoy it in your life. and to finally realize that no woman or person's acceptance of you is more important than how you value yourself. Once you learn to accept yourself and just say "fvck it" at least I'm happy with myself, you'll never feel the way you feel today again. Trust me, I'm with you brotha.