Im extremely self conscious and i need some help overcoming it

[opentoadvice]

ok, ive had this problem for at least the last 3 or 4 years. could any of you help me out or give me some tips of overcoming being extremely self conscious. anything would be cool. thanks.

 

[DJnomore]

Just go somewhere you don't care and do what you want.

If you can be successful somewhere else you will be successful at home.

 

[LordBrian]

I would suggest reading the DJ bible. Any of them...

http://sucs.org/~nicholas/djb/index.php

I would suggest reading this one about confidence, i like it because it shows that things are trivial....: http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/001294.html

This post is good, because its about courage... and its also kind of funny to read.
http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/000974.html

Pook and Fingers are also great in this subject. I would suggest looking over their posts, especially "weapons of mass seduction" (which i think should be a sticky!!! )

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=37710

Also I would like to give myown little spiel about confidence. Its something that no one can give you. you have to earn it. Walk up to someone and ask them out. The first few times i tried it it was very awkward and embarrising (once a HB8 even laughed at me... dont worry, ill make sure she wants me soon ). AFter being rejected countless times, it seems like it isnt that important anymore....

IF these things dont work at ALL. I might suggest SS... however, i only have tested out very little. Im not sure of what to do if im caught using it....

 

[dualman7]

First of all, stop taking yourself so seriously. You're putting too much stress on worrying about things you can't control, and as a result you're mentally exhausted for other simple tasks.

Second, start reading! Whenver I start feeling like I am backtracking on my progress and feeling way too self conscious, I grab a book and it always refreshens me. I am not too fond of reading, but even skimming some books can do a lot of good.

 

[DDV]

FIRSTLY ...

don't read any of that.. it may give some benefit, but it may do damage too...

Firslty, start to explore yourself, what are CAUSES of you being shy.? What've made you so, what past experiences were, when did it start? That's core things. Then just try to think about that. 'Cause almost all issues/complexes lays in the past. BUT that WAS past, NOW is NOW. Have something changed until now?
Are the situatio the same...

 

[sAgE]

I have to agree with DDV's response but add a little to that...

I have found myself in your situation many times, and for the most part I sometimes fall back to the ackward feeling of insecurity and self-consciousness. The best recommendation that I can make is to study yourself when you are self-concious and then another mindset that you prefer. Take the time to compare both. Notice your body language, your energy levels, what it is that you think about, what your breathing pattern is like, etc. Eventually, you can start modifying little things about yourself when you feel uncomfortable and bring yourself to a more agreeable state of mind. It's kind of like physical triggers for your mind.

For example, when I loose my confidence I tend to slouch and speak in a softer tone of voice. I found it that standing/sitting up straight and speaking louder reasert my confidence and helps triggers my mind to change to a more confident state.

But thats just roughly what takes place for me, you have to take the time to make it work for you and figure it out. There is really no one way to fix this, but these are some clues to help you figure out your own situation. It's still a work-in-progress for me and i've been working on this part of myself for quite a while.

I hope this helps...