I'm confused - I'm getting a wonderful girl by being an AFC?!

[letsfixthis]

Guys, let me preface this post by stating that I am NOT complaining about this little "problem", just looking for some perspective on it from any of you DJ's.

Throughout the last month or so I've been developing a very close relationship with a girl I met back in May. She's cute as hell in my opinion, around a 7.5 or so and with a wonderful, considerate and giving personality as well. All in all, things are going great with her and I'm really excited about where we may be headed.

Here's the thing though - I started out using DJ tactics with this girl, and NOTHING seemed to work at all. C&F, kino, speed seduction, etc...she just didn't respond. I was absolutely convinced this one had to be NEXTED. Just as I was about to officially do it, I tried doing something AFC for the hell of it and as a last-ditch effort. I told her I think she's really cute and asked if she'd like to go out sometime, figuring nothing else had worked so I had nothing to lose by getting rejected. For some reason, IT WORKED LIKE A CHARM.

Basically, I'm really into her but she is the female equivalent of an AFC. While this doesn't bother me and while I definitely enjoy being around her, it has me questioning some of the DJ tactics I've been using since I began reading this site a few months ago. Perhaps I'm stating the obvious here, but if you encounter a really cute girl who you are completely into but she's an AFC, it is my opinion that perhaps sometimes you have to act like an AFC yourself to make things work, at least initially. Anyone agree?

I do feel somewhat uneasy about reverting back to AFCness while I'm with her, but it's basically what she feels comfortable with. While I'm confident this relationship has wonderful potential, I'd hate to be stunting my own DJ growth as a result of it. Can anyone give me their opinion on this?

 

[Mazman]

"Here's the thing though - I started out using DJ tactics with this girl, and NOTHING seemed to work at all. C&F, kino, speed seduction, etc...she just didn't respond. I was absolutely convinced this one had to be NEXTED. Just as I was about to officially do it, I tried doing something AFC for the hell of it and as a last-ditch effort. I told her I think she's really cute and asked if she'd like to go out sometime, figuring nothing else had worked so I had nothing to lose by getting rejected. For some reason, IT WORKED LIKE A CHARM. "

I don't really have an answer to your question, but I'm a bit confused about this part of your post.

Your last ditch effort was to ask her out?

 

[letsfixthis]

Not exactly. I had continuously mentioned taking her out to a few bars and clubs or just hanging out back at my place while being ****y and funny and got this whole "ummm, I dunno if that's a good idea, blah blah" response and vibe. It was only when I went AFC and "expressed my true feelings" and was "honest" that she wanted to go out with me. I honestly don't get it.

 

[bp1974]

Open your eyes. All that 'dj'ing you did was nothing of the sort. You were being fake and phony to try and get her interested in you, and were too insecure to risk rejection by just straight letting her know how you felt. She was left feeling confused and unsure, and didn't trust you. When you finally grabbed your balls and asked her out, rather than just hinting about hanging out sometime like a 'cool, uninterested dude', she said yes.

The moment you stopped hiding behind tricks, and took the risk of actually asking her out, that was when you acted like a man, not before.

bp1974

 

[-Zero_h0uR-]

I agree with BP.

It's not the methods that didn't work right, it's how you used them.


-- Zero-

 

[Mr.Fortesque]

I'm confused too.

U have asked her out manytimes before and she allways rejected? She decided to go out with U, when U just said her:U are cute.?

 

[gt95ab]

Being a true DJ isn't a set of rules or a system, it's about being more than yourself, something better. The best possible version of yourself that women will be attracted to. The only reason there are a bunch of rules is to give some guys some structure and rules on what to do and how to act until they figure it out for themselves. You've just learned one of the most valuable lessons that a DJ can learn, be the best possible version of yourself and always improve, and women will love you for it. DJ tactics do succeed in increasing your odds at getting laid, but you sound like you want an LTR out of this.

Ever consider that your DJ'ing her actually did work, but she was to smart and saw right through it, Thinking your acting like one of those alpha male jerks that only want one thing and she didn't want to fall for it. Remember, some women are givers and are very good people on the inside and playing games didn't work with her. Remember, you can only play chess with people who play the game. DJ tactics work with the women that play games, learn how to tell the difference. Good luck with this one, but make sure your not too "nice". I had a conversation with this women on the weekend and asked her the difference between a gentleman and a nice guy. She said a gentleman is a man and a nice guy is simply a boy, remember that....... tattoo it on he inside of your forhead.

The ethical DJ - gt95ab

 

[letsfixthis]

Thanks for all your thoughts guys. Your perspectives are definitely opening my eyes a bit. I'm glad I posted my story.

 

[thissucks003]

Originally posted by letsfixthis
It was only when I went AFC and "expressed my true feelings" and was "honest" that she wanted to go out with me. I honestly don't get it.

That's not being AFC!

An AFC as defined on Masf as Average Frustrated Chump. A "nice guy". A guy who has no pick up skills and rarely manages to close a target pick up. Also a guy who tends to supplicate in his behavior to HBs. Meaning, buying flowers for a chick when going out for coffee, putting her on a pedestal, and generally letting women walk all over him in the vein hope of somehow being seen as attractive in their eyes. A common term used for AFCs that have seen the error of their ways but not yet gained PUA skills is RACF (Recovering AFC).

When you can express your feelings and how you relate to others, you were successful because you put yourself out there first! She didn't want to put herself out to be rejected until she knew where you were coming from and that you like her. Once you did, she became receptive. You must lead. This is a brief synopsis of the Juggler Method which you unknowingly did. Read more about his stuff on Masf.

Good Luck,

TS

 

[silverwex]

letsfixthis: im in the same situation as you!

My girl is cute and acts kinda like a female AFC.

Although i initally used C/F and kino to bag her, im now acting like an afc and im not sure if i can help myself!

 

[DJ Girevik]

Doesn't seem all that AFCish to me. You still did it in a confident way. You didn't fawn all over her and spill your deepest darkest secrets out to her, and blatantly reveal some kind of huge pedestal and stick her on it. You simply made her feel special (this concept has been written about in the DJB) and asked her out.