I'm a f--king moron

hangingharry

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First off, I do have a broad who thinks of me as her "boyfriend" but lets just say the is NOT neutral. So this chick WAS my side peace although its probably best that I mucked it up in order to avert disaster. I've been caught red handed with my hands in the cookie jar and IT IS NOT FUN.

About a month ago I met this chick at the bar. I was pretty drunk, about 6 jack and cokes deep on top of a few beers. It started out on the dance floor, in the usually drunken fashion. I began dancing with her than we talked etc. etc. I took her to a private place in the club away from the dance floor where I could buy her a drink and start getting my mack on. To make a long story short we sucked face all night long, I got her phone number, and she returned home with her friends.

Fast forward 1 week. I called her, vaguelly remebering what she looked like, and set up a date. I had her drive over to my house, and then we would go from there. When she showed up she was alright looking, but had the most gorgeous set of nockers you've ever laid your eyes on-fake boobs.

The date was mediocre, she was a bit weird, but we managed to keep the conversation going, and I snuck in some pecks here and there. I gave her a great big wet kiss at the end and cupped her boobs. I ask her if she wanted to come in, she said, not a good idea, and we both went on our marry ways.

2nd Date
Called her up to see if she would like to "see" a movie. She said she'd like that, I intentionally did not specify going "out" or "renting." I knew If we rented a movie I would be money, because you have to be an idiot not to score on a couch after you've already macked a chick. Everything went as expected, although I didn't spend the night, I did manage to kiss her, get her shirt and bra off,play with her boobies and finger her. She seemed quite into it.

DISASTER STRIKES
2 day later Friday Night. All of my friends(and girlfriend go out of town) I'm like- screw it, I'll go to a concert by myself and crash at my friends pad. At the concert I got COMPLETELY WASTED ****-town styles! And smoked ciggs all night. it was my favorite band. 2:00AM rolls around. after not scoring at the show, I'm like hmmmm I think I' call ---- up. 1-800 Drunk-Dial. She Excepts me coming over to crash at her house because my friends house was locked....or that was my excuse anyways. I show up DRUNK AS HELL, SMELLING LIKE BOOZE AND SMOKE. She's like cool if you stay but I got to go to bed. SO I TRY TO PUT THE MACK ON> DISASTER! I wake up the next morning, not know where I was, then I figured it out and how much i f--ked up by going there. I slide out but strategically leave my hat at her place, as way to have an excuse to see her. I wait about a week to call her back. She bouts me, makes it clear she's over me, no mention of the hat......

The end
 

divega

Don Juan
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Ouch. Nothing worse than doing things ya regret while drunk. Almost feels as if somebody else went in and ****ed with your life, and left you with the bill. Not to mention you are one hat in the hole.
 

2N Turbo

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Good read. You know a story is tight when it contains, I woke up not knowning where I was. LOL, just a good as reality tv.
 

Oxide

Master Don Juan
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hey, want a good advice? women hate drunks.
 

SC

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LOL

FUn read!


WHo cares anyhow all your missing is a big set of boobs---hmm did i just say who cares--I take that back--Damn dude Im sorry about your horrible account of events


Maybe if your real lucky you will get a chance to redeem yourself
 

Reto

Master Don Juan
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...both are replaceable...

That reminds me to quit drinking...
 
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