Sup fellas (and ladies?). I'm in an interesting situation and am not exactly sure what course of action to take, if any. Please read everything I have to say before rushing to judgement.
Let me lay the groundwork first:
I'm 25 and am interested in an 18 year old female who will be turning 19 very soon. I've been friends with her and her family for over a decade and know them all really well. I love all of them, they love me, it's a good situation.
She just left to go to school on an athletic scholarship and was also a valedictorian and class president of her school. Not only that but she is very attractive, well grounded, etc. I know she'll work hard in school and come out with some impressive agree--she's just the type of girl who's successful in whatever she does.
Now, having said that, I'm 25 and am currently a security guard and a part time student. I'm thisclose to getting my AA in Criminal Justice and am very confident that I will be a cop within the next year. In fact I'm already through stage one of the hiring process, and will be taking the physical/written tests in a month or so.
I know this girl is 7 years younger than me, and at the age we're at, 7 years is at least fairly significant. It won't be an issue a few years from now, but right now it could be. The thing is, this girl is a catch. A great catch--and my emotions are in check when I say this--someone I could definitey see myself marrying further down the road. I don't want to miss out and have her end up with some other dude because I failed to act.
Backing up a bit though...ever since I've known her we've always gotten along really well. We've had fun together and just click, and I'm not talking about any sort of romantic thing, I just mean on a friendship/general interaction level. I feel that she's always looked up to me (and possibly had a crush on me) for sometime now, and I seriously doubt it's ever entered her mind that I could be interested in her.
Which is part of the problem: I'm not really on her radar screen at the moment. I've never contacted her for the sake of contacting her because that would be...well, weird, I think--maybe you would disagree though. I'm friends with her mom, but haven't talked to her in probably a year. It's a situation where I could show up at their doorstep though and they would be stoked to see me, invite me in, bake me cookies, etc.
I forgot to mention that she's at school 2 hours away from me. Not a huge distance, but still a distance nonetheless. I understand that she's young, and this is a new stage in her life. I accept and appreciate that, and want to give her space to be herself. But as I said, I don't want to miss out and wonder what would or could have been.
Another thing, she has a boyfriend at the moment. This really doesn't concern me, like, at all. I've talked to one of her friends and she says their relationship isn't anything serious and they will probably be breaking up soon anyway. And I have a feeling that if I were to go after her, she'd ditch that other guy in a second.
So for one, do you think I should pursue her now, or is it too soon? Back off and wait a couple years? If you think I should go after it, what's the best way to go about it? I want to not come across as creepy AT ALL, but fun, exciting, confident yet indifferent about her. Thing is how do I instigate something with her and maintain that level of indifference?
Also, do you think I should get her email address from her friend and email her? Or should I go through the parents given our friendship situation and the age difference? I know her parents like me but I also haven't told them that I'm interested in their daughter. I think they'd still like me after I told them that, but that doesn't mean they'd approve of me pursuing her.
I have some ideas of my own but I'd really like to hear what you other DJs out there think. I am open to encouragement, critisicm, pretty much anything so long as it's constructive.
One last thing, I'm also concerned that because she's been soooo successful in the classroom and student government, etc, that she'll be looking for someone similarly successful in those areas. I've never been a classroom guy--I graduated high school with a 3.1 gpa and as I said I almost have my AA, but I just don't like classrooms. I like learning, and am well cultured. I've been to over 15 countries all over the world, have competed in an Iron Man, eco-challenge, and am good at various sports and activities.
I guess what I'm wondering is do you think a girl with a BA in something and who will more than likely have a very successful career go for a current security guard/future cop with an AA? And do you think I would live up to her parents standards? They think very highly of their daughter, especially given the success she has already experienced.
Let me lay the groundwork first:
I'm 25 and am interested in an 18 year old female who will be turning 19 very soon. I've been friends with her and her family for over a decade and know them all really well. I love all of them, they love me, it's a good situation.
She just left to go to school on an athletic scholarship and was also a valedictorian and class president of her school. Not only that but she is very attractive, well grounded, etc. I know she'll work hard in school and come out with some impressive agree--she's just the type of girl who's successful in whatever she does.
Now, having said that, I'm 25 and am currently a security guard and a part time student. I'm thisclose to getting my AA in Criminal Justice and am very confident that I will be a cop within the next year. In fact I'm already through stage one of the hiring process, and will be taking the physical/written tests in a month or so.
I know this girl is 7 years younger than me, and at the age we're at, 7 years is at least fairly significant. It won't be an issue a few years from now, but right now it could be. The thing is, this girl is a catch. A great catch--and my emotions are in check when I say this--someone I could definitey see myself marrying further down the road. I don't want to miss out and have her end up with some other dude because I failed to act.
Backing up a bit though...ever since I've known her we've always gotten along really well. We've had fun together and just click, and I'm not talking about any sort of romantic thing, I just mean on a friendship/general interaction level. I feel that she's always looked up to me (and possibly had a crush on me) for sometime now, and I seriously doubt it's ever entered her mind that I could be interested in her.
Which is part of the problem: I'm not really on her radar screen at the moment. I've never contacted her for the sake of contacting her because that would be...well, weird, I think--maybe you would disagree though. I'm friends with her mom, but haven't talked to her in probably a year. It's a situation where I could show up at their doorstep though and they would be stoked to see me, invite me in, bake me cookies, etc.
I forgot to mention that she's at school 2 hours away from me. Not a huge distance, but still a distance nonetheless. I understand that she's young, and this is a new stage in her life. I accept and appreciate that, and want to give her space to be herself. But as I said, I don't want to miss out and wonder what would or could have been.
Another thing, she has a boyfriend at the moment. This really doesn't concern me, like, at all. I've talked to one of her friends and she says their relationship isn't anything serious and they will probably be breaking up soon anyway. And I have a feeling that if I were to go after her, she'd ditch that other guy in a second.
So for one, do you think I should pursue her now, or is it too soon? Back off and wait a couple years? If you think I should go after it, what's the best way to go about it? I want to not come across as creepy AT ALL, but fun, exciting, confident yet indifferent about her. Thing is how do I instigate something with her and maintain that level of indifference?
Also, do you think I should get her email address from her friend and email her? Or should I go through the parents given our friendship situation and the age difference? I know her parents like me but I also haven't told them that I'm interested in their daughter. I think they'd still like me after I told them that, but that doesn't mean they'd approve of me pursuing her.
I have some ideas of my own but I'd really like to hear what you other DJs out there think. I am open to encouragement, critisicm, pretty much anything so long as it's constructive.
One last thing, I'm also concerned that because she's been soooo successful in the classroom and student government, etc, that she'll be looking for someone similarly successful in those areas. I've never been a classroom guy--I graduated high school with a 3.1 gpa and as I said I almost have my AA, but I just don't like classrooms. I like learning, and am well cultured. I've been to over 15 countries all over the world, have competed in an Iron Man, eco-challenge, and am good at various sports and activities.
I guess what I'm wondering is do you think a girl with a BA in something and who will more than likely have a very successful career go for a current security guard/future cop with an AA? And do you think I would live up to her parents standards? They think very highly of their daughter, especially given the success she has already experienced.
