If you're not happy where you are, does moving help?

[Zwitterion]

We've all hear the line, "If you're not happy where you are, changing your location won't matter because you're really unhappy on the inside."

Do you guys believe this? I live in Boston where alot of the people in my region have the tendency to be a lot more aggressive, irratable, and confrontational (especially on the road). Places like New York and Philly have the same reputation. Yet when I go to the midwest I meet people who just don't let things get to them. They smile alot more, are more friendly, almost to the point where they seem to be condesendingly friendly when you meet them. Is this all in my head?

 

[Zwitterion]

I guess we're all a bunch of shiny happy people?

 

[Ace of Flames]

Moving can help, but it won't just solve all your problems, you know? A change of scenery is usually a good thing. Like you said, your area is full of aggressive city people, right? Maybe that's just not the kind of people you jive with. A move to a more easy-going area could be what you need. Hell, give it a shot, see what happens.

 

[seanchai]

I was kind of unhappy in Dublin in December, so I moved to Nice in February. That made me REALLY fvcking happy.

All this proves is that moving to Nice will make you happy, so try that.

 

[insanity]

i loved moving to places unknown. here in new brunswick canada, if you work at a warehouse or any labour killing job, you get paid 7$ to 9$ an hour. one day the boss yelled at us for not working faster and i had enough and quit. 7$ to 9$ cannot buy my loyalty. thats why provinces like alberta advertise job positions in our newspapers that pay 20$ to 30$ for the same thing because they know new brunswickers have a reputation as hard workers.

so i decided to move far from home and let me tell you it's the best thing i ever did. i was born and raised in a community where everyone knows if you take a sh@t. when i went out west i didn't know anybody and i didn't even know where to apply for work because there was so much of it.

that year i cleared about 70,000 dollars not bad for a 18 year old working on the oil rigs but the hours were very long and sometimes you only got like 2 hours sleep but i then used that money to travel all over canada to party. those were the best years of my life. then i had to get all dum and go to university in new brunswick and have benn stuck here for seems like forever because my woman wants to complete her accountant degree

i've been counting down. 4 months left and were going back and its going to be wonderful.

 

[CGE333]

It worked for me. 2.5 years ago I moved from AZ to San Diego. I had a job but did not know a single person. I worked hard at the job and on myself. I developed more self confidence and a lot more positive outlook on life. Before I felt like my life was in a rut and that no matter what I did things would not change- so I had to force the change myself. It has worked out great and I think it is the best decision I have made so far.

 

[Zwitterion]

So far, I guess we can all agree that this theory about not being happy where you are means your not happy on the inside.

I think it's bull****.

 

[Charm]

Zwitterion, it is actually complex in terms of human psychology. Case studies have been done on this topic actually. Depression, ie the clinical term for being unhappy is for many people brought on by seasonal affected disorder SAD which in drastic climate locations causes them to become very depressed. Places where it may rain/snow/get little sunshine are good examples. However, some people simply do not find they are in a natural element for growth in the location they are in. A great example is someone thriving to be an artist in a community that has a small art scene or music scene. The internet is opening gateways to help with some of these problems and has become for many an emotional escape from their outside world of problems and loathing.

Moving can help and if you completely believe it can, NLP would suggest that neurologically you can experience a physical change based on that strong belief alone. So, just your internal belief system can lead you to feel better about making a move if you believe that is the only way to feel happyness. The people claiming it is all internal are however correct an a grander scale, which says that Nothing actually has any meaning, including the word happyness, and internally we assign a meaning to the word happyness based on our beliefs of what it must mean to be happy. So if we change our beliefs, we internally can change what makes us happy.

 

[Falcon]

Moving can definitely help. I plan on moving to another city once I get done with college. Sometimes you get sick of the area you live in. I find it annoying bumping into people I knew in high school and such. Think about it. A new place, new surroundings, new people, possibly a new lifestyle. It is delving into the unknown. It actually makes me excited. I see it as exploring life!

 

[bob2007]

Sometimes you get sick of the area you live in. I find it annoying bumping into people I knew in high school and such. Think about it. A new place, new surroundings, new people, possibly a new lifestyle. It is delving into the unknown. It actually makes me excited. I see it as exploring life!

I like highschool people I bump into.

Insanity, I knew that Alberta paid well... but not that well! I will consider going there.

I think people don't move because they become complacent and accept whatever it is they have and their surrounding. There are so many people in Toronto that complain about the cold / snow, but no one ever moves.

 

[Abbott]

I think it depends on why you're unhappy.

For me, I hate this town for quite a few reasons. Reasons that can be solved by moving.

The nightlife scene isn't that great, so I can just move to somewhere where it's better.

Another reason is the fact that I have never, in fact, lived anywhere else. I don't like the idea of staying here indefinitely. I was born and raised here, but I don't like the idea of growing old and dying here as well.

The other reasons have to do with people. It's not uncommon for me to run into former high school classmates. I hate that because at my age (and theirs) it should no longer matter. However, some people still hang on to those stupid ideas even years later. I wasn't particularly popular in high school, and since these people haven't seen me regularly since then, they still think of me in that way. In fact, sometimes people come by my parents house (where I still live), and perform pranks, such as eggs. I believe I'm the intended victim, since I don't see those things happening to others living on my street. I also know that it's not how I act or behave, since I don't get that kind of vibe or feeling from people I've met since high school.


If it's the people, then perhaps moving will help. If it's something else, then I doubt it. If it's because you're bored, then moving only helps if you live in a small town and want to go to a bigger city.

I also recommend that if you move, you should pull off a Houdini, so no one knows where you went. It doesn't have to be a strict secret, but if you tell anyone be sure that they'll keep your secret. For example, my parents will know.


Unfortunately, I'm not speaking from experience. However, what I wrote makes sense.

Ben

 

[CGE333]

If you are unhappy with who you are and what your life has become at this time, I think that moving and getting a fresh start is a good thing to do. Like anything in life, you get out of it what you put into it. Good luck!

 

[insanity]

bob2007, it does pay very well working on the oil rigs but it's really dangerous. the most common injury i seen happen to alot of guys was watching them getting their fingers chopped off. plus the oil rig workers are tough and mean as hell because they are counting on you with their life. but i could understand because when a new guy would show up and he messed up it became really dangerous.

but it's easy to go up the ladder and make 100,000 to 150,000 because it is one of the toughest jobs on the planet and people can't handle it.

if you did go to alberta the cost of living sucks if it's just you because rent is anywhere between 900$ to 1500$. i met 3 cool guys at the rigs and moved in with them so i had alot of cash flowing.

 

[Zwitterion]

I started this thread because when I was 17 years old I remember they use to play this song that basically brainwashed my thinking

the main verse went, "Man, I gotta get out of this town. Man I gotta get out of this place." It was a story song they played on top 40 stations. And at the end of the story the girl moved and found the same old pain but just in a different place and decided to move back home. The moral was, "You won't find happiness by moving" So I've been believing that for the past 7 or so years.

I wish I wasn't so susceptable to media influence.

 

[sparky0000]

i am living proof that happiness can be found far far far away from your home. i think the farther you go the better. man's happiness tends to be based on comparing himself to those that he considers his peers. find a place where you have no peers and you will find happiness.

 

[Master Bates]

I hope it can. I'm in an Xtreme rut, totally unhappy with both my life and myself, although I've been better the past few years. It's gonna be hard moving from here because I really like the area, but I think I feel too connected to this place.....it's where I was supposed to have the best time of my life, and instead it was the most disappointing and depressing. I feel I just need a fresh start. A reboot.

I know the old saying, "Where ever you go, there you are", but I think I could benefit from a drastic change of scenery, especially to a place that's more conducive to meeting people and having fun. I'm 25 and I have the life (and love) experience of a fourteen year old, and no idea what I want to do with my life, so I'm thinking of taking a cue from my friend's idea and moving to Japan (preferably Tokyo) to teach english. I'm interested in the culture, have known a few japanese people, know a tad of the language and am determined to learn more, and it turns out japanese chicks love white guys. Of course, that's just a plus, not an incentive, but it doesn't hurt. I dunno, I've considered my options, and I really can't think of anything else that will give me one last shot at doing something adventurous and "crazy" before I'm too old.

 

[doctoroxygen]

I would KILL to be in an Xtreme rut.