If you were my age?

[backbreaker]

Hey guys,


I will be 23 here in about 2 hours, and it got me thinking... One of the ringing points on this forum, at least one that i have picked up on, is that don't sell yourself too short too early in life. In other words, the older you get (late 20's/30's, even older) the more things should start to pan out.

A question for all of you guys, since everyone here is older than me.. What would you do differently in life if you could be 23 again?

 

[WestCoaster]

Once again with feeling

This has been asked before, but it's always a great topic and so here I go as I was a sniveling, worried AFC at 23 ...

1. Not be so worried about women, jobs, life, everything. Twenty-three is the time to have fun, not be worried like an old man. I dated a fair amount at that age -- I would've tripled or quadrupled my number of women I dated, and I'm serious. I got caught up into stupid long-term relationships with women I knew were no good for me. Blinded by sex, stupidity, AFCness, etc. Play it cool and have fun.

2. Travel more as in way more. Would've gone to Europe for at least a half-year and partied with beautiful European women to get a different perspective than dumb, American women.

3. Go to grad school earlier ... I went in my late 30's and it's helped me tremendously. Grad school helped me chang careers, but should've gone to grad school at age 30 ... oh yeah, this is about 23.

4. Would lived in a cheap-o apartment in SoCal and hung out on the beach every day, not worried too much about career at the time, instead I would've been building a career ... and dated every woman I saw on the beach. I would've partied more, gone to more sporting events, saw more concerts, and kicked back. This relates to No. 1 ... you have the rest of your life to be worried, have bills, have a wife, etc. You're young once ... and 23 is young.

5. I'd be more optimistic, less cynical.

6. I had no reading or cyber-material at the time, but I wish one of my friends would've kicked my AFC a$$ ... the problem was most of my friends were AFC, we had no sosuave back then. I wish I had those days back and not been a stupid, sniveling AFC.

In a nutshell, enjoy life now, worry later ... or don't worry ever. I do know at 23 no way should you saddle yourself with an 8-5 boring job and a long-term/oneitis relationship. No freaking way.

 

[KingBeef]

This has been asked before, but it's always a great topic and so here I go as I was a sniveling, worried AFC at 23 ...

1. Not be so worried about women, jobs, life, everything. Twenty-three is the time to have fun, not be worried like an old man. I dated a fair amount at that age -- I would've tripled or quadrupled my number of women I dated, and I'm serious. I got caught up into stupid long-term relationships with women I knew were no good for me. Blinded by sex, stupidity, AFCness, etc. Play it cool and have fun.

2. Travel more as in way more. Would've gone to Europe for at least a half-year and partied with beautiful European women to get a different perspective than dumb, American women.

3. Go to grad school earlier ... I went in my late 30's and it's helped me tremendously. Grad school helped me chang careers, but should've gone to grad school at age 30 ... oh yeah, this is about 23.

4. Would lived in a cheap-o apartment in SoCal and hung out on the beach every day, not worried too much about career at the time, instead I would've been building a career ... and dated every woman I saw on the beach. I would've partied more, gone to more sporting events, saw more concerts, and kicked back. This relates to No. 1 ... you have the rest of your life to be worried, have bills, have a wife, etc. You're young once ... and 23 is young.

5. I'd be more optimistic, less cynical.

6. I had no reading or cyber-material at the time, but I wish one of my friends would've kicked my AFC a$$ ... the problem was most of my friends were AFC, we had no sosuave back then. I wish I had those days back and not been a stupid, sniveling AFC.

In a nutshell, enjoy life now, worry later ... or don't worry ever. I do know at 23 no way should you saddle yourself with an 8-5 boring job and a long-term/oneitis relationship. No freaking way.

AMEN BROTHER!!!!

 

[realsmoothie]

1. travel

2. no LTR's

3. contrary to what was just said... stay AWAY from too much school. Work, travel, fvck, volunteer, whatever... but school is expensive to do full-time. Wait until you're ready to go.

4. do not stress about getting anything done by a certain age.

 

[grinder]

Its so easy to be swept away by what you are "supposed" to do at your age, me and many of my older peers did because we were programmed and had no material to tell us otherwise (that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it).

1) College (even if you don't have a f*cking idea of what to do, and no matter what your major, later you will do something else).

2) Marriage & kids (chump, chump, chump, later, divorce, divorce).

3) "Career" (what the hell is a "career", a word made up to pigeon-hole you into a nice controllable monkey. Be diverse, have 10 careers).

Since you are here, you can fight the mass group-think that wants you do do the above. We are all influenced by our peers, so make some friends that think differently, it will be easier to make independent decisions.

I am not saying you should not do college, marriage, and career. Just not by age 25! And not in the above order, and not on anybody's timeframe but yours!

 

[backbreaker]

funny enough, all of my friends, well not friends, but guys I know one way or another, have a) kids and b) LTR's... and most are a tad bit younger than me. None of them are girls I would date, it's like people are in a hurry to grow up but at the same time, are still extremely immature.

Then I get "laughed at" because I 'DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND'.. i always chuckle at that one.

 

[skeeloo]

Im still 24 and still young.
i aint got much to regret about but. i wish i worried less about women. infact im at the time of my life where i dont wana think about women much, sick of the mind games i just wana fuk but most women seem to want ltrs.

i wish i started or had a business plan so i can be self employed. though i aint got nothing against te 9-5 thing but it just aint for me im a lazy guy,but when it comes to starting my own business
i know id give it 110%.
im still young so its not too late yet.

i aslo wished i slapped girls back in h.s who annoyed the hell outta ME.

also i wished i made more friends than the gossiping back stabbers i got as friends now, again its not to late to make friends but once you are older ppl are less real.

apart from that i aint got much to regret about that yet iv travelled places most ppl older than me will never be. nothing to regret for now.

 

[backbreaker]

well, that's one thing I did right.

Mostly I mean with women. I think at times, I take myself too seriously... I know I am not going to marry anyone I know now, I wouldn't be suprised if I don't get married. Sometimes I get soo caught up in the everyday hassle of women that I forget the end game and what my point of it all really is

when I look in the mirror and I ask myself am I proud of myself, I can honestly say that me having a Girl or not is one of the questions that I end up asking myself. Therefore, in the grand scheme of things, they don't matter. However, hormones and emotions dictate how you act at times.

 

[TommiV]

I'm actually 21 so I'm, NOT older than you. But I spend ver a year in a LTR which ended quite badly and so on...


I honestly have ZERO confidence with women but lately I'm TRYING to come out of my shell... Honestly... I'm beginning to realise, If I don't try... isn't that really worse than trying but being rejected... cos at least I KNOW ... and in the end... I've realised, for every girl thats NOT interested, there is another girl (or more), who IS interested... what have you got to lose... just stop taking the rejection personally. Irs got to do with HER and if you are what she needs right now.... not about how YOU are... she hardly nows you.

All I'm sayting is... I'm beginning to realsie, by my late 20's and my 30's, I'll maybe expect to have a stable girlfriend.... maybe... but at 21 theres no point fcuking around and doing NOTHING about girls who show interest... do the firld work now and in a few years you'll be sorted... thats my opinion...

I have a friend who's 23 and thinks things are hopeless... I'm trying to convince him otherwise but its a tough task.

 

[So Many Ways]

The one thing I would have done differently was that I would have followed up on the business idea I had at around that age that I ended putting off until a few months ago. Of course I wish I wasn't so inept with the opposite sex as I was in college at the time and it's much easier to meet women in college than anywhere else. Other than that I can't think of much else I would do differently.

 

[backbreaker]

i'm at a unique stage as far as weomen are concerned... i'm at the age to where i am physically attracted to younger women, but let's just say if you looked up the word patience in the dictonary, my picutre wouldn't by next to it.. I don't play games, frankly they are fortnate to get an opprotunity with me.. I'm not going to be playing your HS games, because most girls, espically ones that aren't late bloomers do have the mindset of a girl in high school.

For some reason, I find more married women my age than older women. It's damn near impossible to find a half ass decnet 23-25 year old women, who has her head on straight, that's not in a serious realationship.. then again, that's why they are taken I suppose.

Then older women want to settle down, and they usually have kids.

I get enough to satisfiy me, but the women who i talk to, I'm to the point know where I don't even like talking to most of them, jsut let me come over and, do my thing and leave.

One girl, who is younger than me but good looking and has a kid, we hit it off real well. After a couple of dates, you know.. I mean, it'st ime to progress. That's just how **** works. So I am making my move, and I can tell she is uncomfortable, so I hold up and ask her what's up, talk to me. She says that why do I "always" think about sex, and that I shouldn't be pressuring her into sex, and that's all I want (damn she's good). I basically told that not to be offensive, but she had no problem with me spending $100 on a dinner date 2 nights before... haven't called her back since. I dont' have time for **** like that. Like someone said here, if she makes you wait for it, it's not worth it. Plus she should be thankful that I even took an interest in her in the first place, yet to have some type of stipulations on to when and how I can get the pvssy. No thanks

Then you have my old oneitis, who becomes more and more of a headcase as days go on. I ****ed her about a month ago... One night she asks me am I going out, I told her I was going to this such and such club. Next thing you know, I see her with this guy she is supposed to be talking to, gay as can be. She calls me to tell me about how she isnt' having sex with him and how she doesn't like him, how she doesn't really like anyone right now.. I flat out told her one night, why are you telling me? Hell, for that matter... why are you even still around? WTF do you want from me? You admit you find me attractive, you will let me **** you, yet you won't date me, but yet you will throw it in my face every guy who looks at you. She has called me at 2 in the morning with a "urgent message" about how she ran into this guy and **** like that. When I don't answer the phone she will leave a message. She is a headcase, to the point where it's honestly unattractive..

That's why I said I just step back and say it's not even woth it all. Girls I meet and do have sex with, it's usually somewhat of a one night stand for one reason or another. However, in all I get more satisfaction out of other ventures, like making money or beleive it or not, learning something new. I always feel good about myself when i learn something new.

I think the only regret I will REALLY see myself having is not moving to Cali, and I promise myself i will in the next year

 

[WestCoaster]

I say don't worry about women and all the responses are worries about women. C'mon fellas, lighten up, and for someone to say 23-25 women who are hard to find? Are you serious?! I'm a lot older and can tell you they do not age like wine. I work at a university and the women 18-25 are outstanding, the ones who come back after 30 are very bitter.

Quit hanging out at clubs and start going to college where you'll meet educated, interesting women ... but don't worry about them.

You guys are still obsessing too much about women. I know because I did the same thing at your age. I'm telling you again, don't do it, it's not worth the emotional energy. Don't worry about girlfriends, wives, LTRs, just don't.

Date and have fun ... but I know no one will listen to me.

 

[backbreaker]

great advice. worry isn't the word I would use, at least for me. I have no problem being single, I was single when I ran my company, all execpt like the last 3 months.

I don't go to college, and I never went. Hell, pretty much all the girls I know my age ARE in college.

 

[WestCoaster]

The average earnings in a lifetime from a person who has a bachelor's degree and one who doesn't is now at $1.5 million and climbing.

I work in career counseling, companies are really moving into the degree-only for management and quality jobs. I say this all the time, but men never listen to me. Meanwhile, women are getting degrees by the 100's (see story in Esquire magazine) and are going to take over if men don't start quit f-cking around with sh-tty jobs and worrying on macking and going to clubs all the time.

I work at a commuter college and have had numerous people 40 and older come in who practically run huge sectors of their companies -- some at nice places like Hewlett-Packard and Micron -- and they've been told if they don't get a degree, they will not get a raise or advance. I think it's stupid, but this is how bosses are these days.

I scream it to the mountain tops on this board because I see this EVERY WEEK, but dudes here just ignore me, f-ck around in their 20's and end up nowhere.

Read Esquire magazine's state of American male and the story on how women are surpassing men academically and professionally -- it's depressing.

Just by a quick glance on this board, I can see why: She dumped me, I'm a loser, should I read a seduction book, what do I go, blah, blah, blah ... socially, have fun and relax and don't worry about women; professionally, work on your career by going to college or trade school.

You can point out all the exceptions to the world to me that your third cousin doesn't have a degree and he's at so-called job -- good for him. I'm in contact with company CEO's on a weekly basis and they're demanding degrees.

At 23, get your a$$ to college, work on educating yourself -- and you'll also meet some high-quality women in school.

If you think the work-force is diploma-oriented now, wait till 10 years.

 

[backbreaker]

if you are telling me to go to school, I'm set financially, that I am not concerned about.

With that said, when I ran my computer company, we didn't hire one person who didnt' have a college degree.. even though I didn't have one. That also has to do with the fact that we didn't meet anyone who didn't have a college drgree that seemed capable of doing what we asked.. if we would have, we just might have.

As far as educating myself, I do... just not at school. You don' thave to go to school and pay someone to make you read to be educated. 8 of our presidents don't have a college degree, and 2 of the top 3 richest people in the country dropped out of college. Again that's not the RULE, but then again, most people drop out of school don't necessarly have that mindset, they drop out because having fun seems more enticing.

However, beyond all that, what you said sorta rings a bell. Men spend their time chasing women, while women spend their time being chased, and becuase they are not necessalry worried about men (they still get them anyway) they have time to focus on other things, like a career.

The average male my age, goes to work from 8 to 5, gets home watches TV, usually something on MTV about women, gets on the phone for 3 hours with a woman, goes in his room, masterbates, and goes to bed, only to repeat it all over again the next day.. and on and on until he is 40 and wonders where the hell did his life went?

 

[Socialreject]

Well i'm only 25 myself...

BUT

-Be more of an optimist
-Worry way less
-NO LTR's
-Travel more

I'm 25, i'm taking my third trip abroad this summer and the sad part is... i've always had the money to travel more. Was just to worried and pushing my carreer that to ever actually do it.

Generally... LIVE more!

 

[backbreaker]

would you care to expand more ont he first point you made about being an optimist?

 

[grinder]

You said:

"The average male my age, goes to work from 8 to 5, gets home watches TV, usually something on MTV about women, gets on the phone for 3 hours with a woman, goes in his room, masterbates, and goes to bed, only to repeat it all over again the next day.. and on and on until he is 40 and wonders where the hell did his life went?"

I hope by saying the above you mean you are NOT average: Then, I think you answered a question for us all.

Don't be average.

 

[lurker]

The average male my age, goes to work from 8 to 5, gets home watches TV, usually something on MTV about women, gets on the phone for 3 hours with a woman, goes in his room, masterbates, and goes to bed, only to repeat it all over again the next day.. and on and on until he is 40 and wonders where the hell did his life went?

that is funny and yet it is soo true. its scary to wake up oneday and say where has my life gone too?.
i used to do the same thing, seems like everything in my life used to be focused on women.
even comming here to this site means we are all seeking a woman we want to love. this is sad and they say men are the stronger sex, i dont think so after women see how much we care about them on here the will be suprised like.
lurker