If you can kill desperation, you will be successful in life

[skinnyguy]

When I first came on SOS, I'll admit I was a bit of a whiny troll. But, I think that it was a phase that was necessary to get me to where I am today. That's why I don't hate on guys who are new and having lack of success with women.

I'm a guy who has been through hell and back. I attempted suicide when I was 27, but I went on to get my Master's and now I'm living a pretty decent life. Is life perfect now? Not by any means…I'm still growing, but what is interesting is that now I'm figuring out what I need to work on.

I was in the hot tub today and this HB 8 in a bikini came in. I thought to myself, well, I can either fantasize about things I wanna do to this chick, or I can realize that I'm a pretty cool guy who she'd be lucky to be with. You see, it's really just about mentality. If you have the right mentality, things will start shifting in your favor.

Setting reasonable expectations can make or break you. Last year, I went to Miami. I went on a date with a colombian chick but I didn't get to fvck her. I thought to myself "man, what a waste of a trip, I'm never coming back to Miami ever again". But I realize that it was the "beta" in me thinking that way. I could have viewed the trip as a fun, relaxing escape but instead I viewed it negatively.

You see, many of us are spending valuable years of our adult lives thinking about pvssy when we need to realize that we need to think about other things first, and then the women will follow. The successful alphas I know don't go trolling the bars looking for women on weekends. They are focusing on career success and in turn, the women are flocking to them.

If you're not highly successful, yes, this can be a difficult mentality to have. Especially if a lot of women have rejected you in the past. You think "I'm not one of those alpha guys who gets laid so easily…I have to work a lot harder and I still don't get laid". But eventually, you'll get to the point where I am at. Which is realizing that you can waste your life feeling sorry for yourself, or you can completely shift your mentality so that little things can't bug you anymore. Women aren't causing you the problems - you are causing you the problems because you're letting it bother you.

I guess you can tell that I read the 7 Habits book this weekend…haha. But I really feel like it's the truth. At some point you have to make a decision. Do I want to let negativity completely dominate my life, or do I want to work with what I have and gain respect from others?

 

[El Payaso]

You have learned well, young padawan.

 

[YoungStunna]

I have disagreed with every post you ever made. Except this one. I'm happy to see you are thinking positively now. Makes life so much better.

 

[GS750]

Good post Skinny. Well said

 

[adam225]

When I first came on SOS, I'll admit I was a bit of a whiny troll. But, I think that it was a phase that was necessary to get me to where I am today. That's why I don't hate on guys who are new and having lack of success with women.

I'm a guy who has been through hell and back. I attempted suicide when I was 27, but I went on to get my Master's and now I'm living a pretty decent life. Is life perfect now? Not by any means…I'm still growing, but what is interesting is that now I'm figuring out what I need to work on.

I was in the hot tub today and this HB 8 in a bikini came in. I thought to myself, well, I can either fantasize about things I wanna do to this chick, or I can realize that I'm a pretty cool guy who she'd be lucky to be with. You see, it's really just about mentality. If you have the right mentality, things will start shifting in your favor.

Setting reasonable expectations can make or break you. Last year, I went to Miami. I went on a date with a colombian chick but I didn't get to fvck her. I thought to myself "man, what a waste of a trip, I'm never coming back to Miami ever again". But I realize that it was the "beta" in me thinking that way. I could have viewed the trip as a fun, relaxing escape but instead I viewed it negatively.

You see, many of us are spending valuable years of our adult lives thinking about pvssy when we need to realize that we need to think about other things first, and then the women will follow. The successful alphas I know don't go trolling the bars looking for women on weekends. They are focusing on career success and in turn, the women are flocking to them.

If you're not highly successful, yes, this can be a difficult mentality to have. Especially if a lot of women have rejected you in the past. You think "I'm not one of those alpha guys who gets laid so easily…I have to work a lot harder and I still don't get laid". But eventually, you'll get to the point where I am at. Which is realizing that you can waste your life feeling sorry for yourself, or you can completely shift your mentality so that little things can't bug you anymore. Women aren't causing you the problems - you are causing you the problems because you're letting it bother you.

I guess you can tell that I read the 7 Habits book this weekend…haha. But I really feel like it's the truth. At some point you have to make a decision. Do I want to let negativity completely dominate my life, or do I want to work with what I have and gain respect from others?

If I could rep you 1000x I would. Good to see you're coming together bro... coming together SOLID.

"The magic of thinking big" is another good one. I have the audio book .:yes:

 

[Don_Dom]

I have disagreed with every post you ever made. Except this one. I'm happy to see you are thinking positively now. Makes life so much better.

Ditto that. Good to see the lightbulb go off.

Attitude is everything. EVERYTHING.

The reason we preach spinning plates here is because it hammers into you an abundance mentality...The idea that there are billions of people on the planet and half of them are women. Of those billions, there are millions that are perfect for you. Knowing this is an immunization against oneitis, which is the chosen ground of all manner of female manipulation, ultimatums, control, etc. It's what makes you succumb to AFC tendencies because you are so afraid of losing your one perfect unique snowflake. So, spin plates! It's good for experience, good for your game and inner game, and when you break a plate or one breaks itself, you don't lose your shyte and break all the rules trying to glue it back together. Spin plates!

But you don't even have to spin plates if you can embrace the mindset. If you remember that there are always plenty of more women where this came from and genuinely just don't give a sh1t when you do approaches and number closes, go on dates, go for kiss closes, f closes, etc you put yourself in a win win situation. Even if you "lose" at any stage, you win, because you nipped in the bud a potential waste of time (and money) and got experience doing it. Every time you do this it gets easier and you worry about it less and less. The fact is, rejection always happens no matter what level of DJ you are. Not letting it phase you is the key which isn't just a practical matter. It's a key part of inner game.

Having fun and not being outcome dependent is the essence of having inner game. Inner game is the key to confidence. And true confidence is like chick musk. Guys here debate to what extent but that's not important. Truly embracing this through plate spinning or not is where you will see a shift in how it goes for you. From being awkward with approaches to having women approach you at times. From not closing to effortlessly closing.

Welcome aboard.

 

[CaptainSaveAh0]

hahaha I have to agree with the other DJ's , I could never agree with you on anything until this post.

Good for you OP , keep up the positive attitude. The hardest battles are the ones you fight with yourself, I know the struggle and I'm sure most people do as well.

Attitude is so important when it comes to everything in life, whether it is game, school, relationships, running a business, etc.

 

[VladPatton]

Eh

Let's get real world here. Nothing "just comes" as a by-product. Things come when you make it happen for yourself. Work for 10 hrs a day, go to the gym, eat, go back to work, repeat, and no women will come....guaranteed. Chase women all the time and no money or skills will come....guaranteed. This is universal.

You make things come, and balance is the key to everything. You have to make time for everything you find important in life. You can't just make money and hit the gym and not make time for mackin chicks. You'll be a ripped millionaire no one notices with zero woman skills. Boy, you sure improved yourself, didn'tcha!

Everything is a chain reaction that you have to activate yourself.